Ellen White Monologue
“From the moment I saw my sister perform, I loved everything about ballet. The movement, the flow, the music, the dance, and the emotion. I knew that this is what I would want to do for the rest of my life.”
Prologue
Ellen White’s palms poured an oily liquid as his body trembled faster than a toy bobble-head. He pulled the blonde bangs from his eyes, taking brief, deep breaths between small intervals of panicking.
“What are you so worried about?” Ellen’s friend, Phoenix, called from across the room, stretching his legs and reaching for his toes.
“Shut up,” Ellen rolled his eyes, and tried to control his mindless trembling, yet his intent seemed fall backwards when it made the problem more severe. …show more content…
Phoenix came over, holding a black hair clip in his hand.
“Here,” He got the ornamental, blonde fringe of hair that waved in front of Ellen’s turquoise eyes, and pressed down on the clip until he heard a small ‘tck’ sound. Phoenix admired Ellen’s eyes. They were an illusion of green or blue— undefinable. Inside his pupil seemed like small stars poking out from a galaxy, while a golden, sparkly iris encircled it. “You look magnificent,” Phoenix smiled, taking Ellen’s trembling hands. “Don’t worry. You’ll be great. Just remember the choreography sequence.”
Ellen’s nerves seemed to immediately drain, and it seemed his trembling had stopped. He gave a kinder grin, reaching in, embracing Phoenix tightly. “Thank you, Phoenix…I wish you luck too.”
Phoenix grasped tightly onto Ellen’s shoulders, digging his face into it, gingerly. Although Ellen could not see him, his voice perfectly conveyed a warm smile. “Thank you…”
The announcer’s microphone feedback immediately caught the attention of all the backstage performers, making everyone go silent. “And our next act will be performed by twelve year old, Ellen White!” Applauds bounced corner to corner from the auditorium’s audience. Ellen glanced an awkward smile of good luck to Phoenix, who gave a mild thumbs up.
Ellen walked to the center of the stage, and eye’s immediately widened as he took a look at the audience. The auditorium held about five hundred people— but he didn’t expect that many there. His eyes searched for his parents, but he couldn’t find them due to the explosion of humans cornered seat by seat.
The announcer put down the microphone, as Ellen got into his start position. Everyone continued applauding, until it soon died out. He inwardly gulped, and closed his eyes, as the music began.
Soft piano chords guided his arms to extend forty-five degrees to their intended sides, as he made a small extend with his right foot and toe. The chords were imitated in different keys, each having their own personal value to Ellen’s own choreograph.
The piano got more emotional, but still bittersweet. Ellen’s choreography timing was perfect, with amazing grace and flow. ‘Mom, dad,’ he thought, suddenly. ‘I’m putting this much love…this much courage…and this much hope into this routine. I know my sister Angelic couldn’t come, but I hope that my words can make her imagine if she were really here. I want her to know that she was an amazing coach, and that I’m so thankful for her help…but now I need to move on with my career plans. I love you all…’
And just like that the piano’s soft melody ended with one last chord, and a grand jete. He extended his legs in the air, along with his arms, and cocked his head upright. Ellen landed on his toes, and slowly put his arms down gracefully to his sides.
‘It’s over all ready?’ Ellen made a small sound of approval at his realization, as the crowd cheered, smashing their hands together. He smiled, bending over slightly, his right hand extended outwards, and his left hand touching his torso, and got into an immediate bow by instinct.
Slowly transitioning from one display to another, Ellen walked towards backstage, where Phoenix was giving him a proud grin. “You did amazing!” He tugged onto his arm.
Ellen smiled. “Thanks. It’s your turn…why don’t you get on?” He pushed his bang aside, and felt the clip Phoenix had let him borrow. “Oh, Phoenix, I’ll give your clip back afterwards!”
“Nah, keep it!” Phoenix giggled, running onto the stage, where applauds could already be heard.
Ellen smiled.
Ellen got off the stage while most of the audience members were leaving. Luckily, almost instantly he found his parents waiting for him…but they didn’t seem quite delighted.
“Mom! Dad!” He smiled. “How’d I do?”
“You did wonderfully, Ellen,” His mom grinned, giving a soft kiss on his forehead. “You are so talented.”
Ellen giggled. “Now, I have to work harder than ever because Angelic is coming to town on my next performance!” His eyes twinkled with enthusiasm, while he relayed the future. Both of his parents looked at each other concerned, and cut him off. “That’s wonderful, dear,” His mom smiled. “You can tell us more in the car.”
It seemed like a lifetime of agony for Ellen’s parents while he continued on and on about his performance and Angelic. Angelic is twenty four and a professional ballerina. She’s a well-known coach around the world, and is now in Bulgaria for her new student. Although they were tempted, his parents didn’t have the heart to stop his passionate rant.
They finally got home, and Ellen had finished his life-story before they even got out of the car. They entered the house, and turned on the lights, which illuminated brightly, painting everything a wealthy gold.
“Ellen,” His father called. Ellen turned towards him. “We didn’t want to say anything at the performance but…we have some bad news…”
Ellen’s shoulders slumped as he prepared himself for the worst. He always knew the meaning of ‘bad’, but he could never specify something bad in particular before it happened.
Ellen’s mother swallowed hard, and opened her mouth to speak. “Angelic…got into a…car accident coming out of the airport in Bulgaria…”
They glimpsed at him in silence, gauging his reaction. Ellen stayed stiff, as if his heart had stopped beating, his lungs stopped working, and his whole body locked into its current position. No one spoke, but the ominous feeling plagued the house entirely.
Chapter 1
‘It’s been two years since that happened…and I’m still here…’
Ellen rolled over to his side, finding himself tangled between the crumpled bedsheets.
He opened his eyes cautiously, and checked his surroundings to find blonde stubble covering his right eye. He sighed in frustration and pushed his bang aside, but it stubbornly fell back to place.
“What a crummy way to start my morning,” He mumbled, stretching his arms while staying placed in the center of his bed. He forcefully got up and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair looked like yellow whipped cream, and his eyes appeared to be slightly bloodshot— which would explain why it hurt when he shifted his eyes left to right, or up or down.
He sighed. ‘I wonder if Phoenix is doing anything’ he thought. Phoenix used to call him everyday to check on how he was doing. However, ever since he faced a crushing defeat to ballet champion Amy Rivera, he’s gotten depressed and never called ever since.
Ellen couldn’t help but smile. Everyday, 365 days a year, he would talk and talk through the phone like an impatient child, telling him everything that happened to him that day. He was always so happy, so innocent, so vibrant…but that was because he didn’t know— didn’t know what it felt like to
lose. Ballet meant the world to Phoenix. And then he lost.
Sometimes in life, you lose. Ellen has come extremely familiar with that realization. It’s been two years since Angelic died. That was the first time he lost.
Ellen sighed painfully and pulled off his clear, white shirt, glimpsing at the mirror. He examined his body. He was ungracefully lanky and leptosome. His backbone was clearly visible, and his nipples appeared similar to red cherries.
Ever since Angelic’s death, Ellen started to only eat small portions, which soon became a daily habit; but he’s never realized how deleterious it was until seeing his attenuated body. He passed a hand through his torso, making it’s way down to his stomach. His skin was smooth, however his bones were easily felt.
Ellen was unsure how to take the sudden cognizance, and put on a grey t-shirt. He eyed the salmon, leather ballet shoes that sat impatiently at the corner of the room, cluttered by books and old candy wrappers. He hasn’t put them on since he heard of Angelic’s death— his last performance. It was all too sudden. Just too fast.
But recovery was slow.
‘It’s been two years, and I’m still here…’ Ellen grieved. The infandous feeling pounded onto Ellen’s chest, causing a prickling in his throat he was unable to suppress, and a drastic withdrawal of his limbs, as he fell onto his knees.
Tears threatened to fall at any moment, but he blinked them back, instantly. He wouldn’t waste his time on such an action. It was pointless. Crying didn’t bring back what you lost. In the end, everything’s still the same.
The weight on Ellen’s shoulders lifted shortly afterwards, and he took a moment to get up and recollect himself. “That was so dumb,” He muttered to himself while restarting his position on his bed. Unwillingly, a soft, yet audible knock came from behind Ellen’s plain, white door. Without accordance, his mom opened the door and poked her head through.
“Good morning, sweetie,” She smiled. Ellen averted his eyes and nodded his head, as to say ‘hello’. “I hope you’re doing well…”
It seems as if she was trying to create a conversation. Ever since Angelic’s death, he became quite distant with everyone, really. Her voice was gentle, but noticeably desperate. Noticing Ellen didn’t reply, his mom looked around awkwardly and breathed in uncomfortably. “Well…” She continued. “You have a visitor.”
Ellen’s curiosity started to turn, but it wasn’t out of the norm. After Angelic’s funeral, lots of family members and close friends came to see how he was doing. Every time they asked him, though, it seems by instinct he would say he was fine; because he was never good or bad or okay.
Fine was the perfect answer. Fine was just in the middle of everything. Every part of self-hatred and sorrow hid behind his ‘fine’. And they seemed to believe it. They eventually stopped coming after his redundant reply, and he stopped talking to them as well. He mainly spoke to himself in his thoughts. Surprisingly, it was comforting. It was like another soul lived in his mind. Shortly, he forgot that voice in his head was himself, and he communicated with it daily.
Sometimes, that made him feel alone. Like now. He hadn’t realized his mom had left to retrieve his so-called ‘visitor’. He sat up slowly, crumpling the sheets far more than they already were, and adjusted his ruffled grey shirt.
Soft and cautious footsteps echoed from down the hallway, making a small ’tap’ as it crescendoed louder, suggesting it was closer to its desired location. The tapping eventually stopped, and he could feel a new presence in the room. Ellen looked up, and his body immediately paled.
“…Phoenix?” Ellen gasped, instantly fixing the tangled bedsheets. Phoenix smiled, wearing his favorite lavender tank top with jeans. Ellen surveyed Phoenix. He was deprived, and clearly suffering from severe aches— he noticed a mild limp on his right leg, and a tender muscle on his arm. Phoenix’s body seemed lanky and fragile, seeming as if he would shatter by a single touch.
Phoenix shuffled uncomfortably, lightly rubbing his right arm. It seemed as if the unresponsiveness had made him nervous, but still didn’t resort in saying anything.
“Are you okay?” Ellen finally said. Phoenix jumped slightly, and turned to him. He grinned. “Of course,” He answered. “How are you?”
Prologue
Ellen White’s palms poured an oily liquid as his body trembled faster than a toy bobble-head. He pulled the blonde bangs from his eyes, taking brief, deep breaths between small intervals of panicking.
“What are you so worried about?” Ellen’s friend, Phoenix, called from across the room, stretching his legs and reaching for his toes.
“Shut up,” Ellen rolled his eyes, and tried to control his mindless trembling, yet his intent seemed fall backwards when it made the problem more severe. …show more content…
Phoenix came over, holding a black hair clip in his hand.
“Here,” He got the ornamental, blonde fringe of hair that waved in front of Ellen’s turquoise eyes, and pressed down on the clip until he heard a small ‘tck’ sound. Phoenix admired Ellen’s eyes. They were an illusion of green or blue— undefinable. Inside his pupil seemed like small stars poking out from a galaxy, while a golden, sparkly iris encircled it. “You look magnificent,” Phoenix smiled, taking Ellen’s trembling hands. “Don’t worry. You’ll be great. Just remember the choreography sequence.”
Ellen’s nerves seemed to immediately drain, and it seemed his trembling had stopped. He gave a kinder grin, reaching in, embracing Phoenix tightly. “Thank you, Phoenix…I wish you luck too.”
Phoenix grasped tightly onto Ellen’s shoulders, digging his face into it, gingerly. Although Ellen could not see him, his voice perfectly conveyed a warm smile. “Thank you…”
The announcer’s microphone feedback immediately caught the attention of all the backstage performers, making everyone go silent. “And our next act will be performed by twelve year old, Ellen White!” Applauds bounced corner to corner from the auditorium’s audience. Ellen glanced an awkward smile of good luck to Phoenix, who gave a mild thumbs up.
Ellen walked to the center of the stage, and eye’s immediately widened as he took a look at the audience. The auditorium held about five hundred people— but he didn’t expect that many there. His eyes searched for his parents, but he couldn’t find them due to the explosion of humans cornered seat by seat.
The announcer put down the microphone, as Ellen got into his start position. Everyone continued applauding, until it soon died out. He inwardly gulped, and closed his eyes, as the music began.
Soft piano chords guided his arms to extend forty-five degrees to their intended sides, as he made a small extend with his right foot and toe. The chords were imitated in different keys, each having their own personal value to Ellen’s own choreograph.
The piano got more emotional, but still bittersweet. Ellen’s choreography timing was perfect, with amazing grace and flow. ‘Mom, dad,’ he thought, suddenly. ‘I’m putting this much love…this much courage…and this much hope into this routine. I know my sister Angelic couldn’t come, but I hope that my words can make her imagine if she were really here. I want her to know that she was an amazing coach, and that I’m so thankful for her help…but now I need to move on with my career plans. I love you all…’
And just like that the piano’s soft melody ended with one last chord, and a grand jete. He extended his legs in the air, along with his arms, and cocked his head upright. Ellen landed on his toes, and slowly put his arms down gracefully to his sides.
‘It’s over all ready?’ Ellen made a small sound of approval at his realization, as the crowd cheered, smashing their hands together. He smiled, bending over slightly, his right hand extended outwards, and his left hand touching his torso, and got into an immediate bow by instinct.
Slowly transitioning from one display to another, Ellen walked towards backstage, where Phoenix was giving him a proud grin. “You did amazing!” He tugged onto his arm.
Ellen smiled. “Thanks. It’s your turn…why don’t you get on?” He pushed his bang aside, and felt the clip Phoenix had let him borrow. “Oh, Phoenix, I’ll give your clip back afterwards!”
“Nah, keep it!” Phoenix giggled, running onto the stage, where applauds could already be heard.
Ellen smiled.
Ellen got off the stage while most of the audience members were leaving. Luckily, almost instantly he found his parents waiting for him…but they didn’t seem quite delighted.
“Mom! Dad!” He smiled. “How’d I do?”
“You did wonderfully, Ellen,” His mom grinned, giving a soft kiss on his forehead. “You are so talented.”
Ellen giggled. “Now, I have to work harder than ever because Angelic is coming to town on my next performance!” His eyes twinkled with enthusiasm, while he relayed the future. Both of his parents looked at each other concerned, and cut him off. “That’s wonderful, dear,” His mom smiled. “You can tell us more in the car.”
It seemed like a lifetime of agony for Ellen’s parents while he continued on and on about his performance and Angelic. Angelic is twenty four and a professional ballerina. She’s a well-known coach around the world, and is now in Bulgaria for her new student. Although they were tempted, his parents didn’t have the heart to stop his passionate rant.
They finally got home, and Ellen had finished his life-story before they even got out of the car. They entered the house, and turned on the lights, which illuminated brightly, painting everything a wealthy gold.
“Ellen,” His father called. Ellen turned towards him. “We didn’t want to say anything at the performance but…we have some bad news…”
Ellen’s shoulders slumped as he prepared himself for the worst. He always knew the meaning of ‘bad’, but he could never specify something bad in particular before it happened.
Ellen’s mother swallowed hard, and opened her mouth to speak. “Angelic…got into a…car accident coming out of the airport in Bulgaria…”
They glimpsed at him in silence, gauging his reaction. Ellen stayed stiff, as if his heart had stopped beating, his lungs stopped working, and his whole body locked into its current position. No one spoke, but the ominous feeling plagued the house entirely.
Chapter 1
‘It’s been two years since that happened…and I’m still here…’
Ellen rolled over to his side, finding himself tangled between the crumpled bedsheets.
He opened his eyes cautiously, and checked his surroundings to find blonde stubble covering his right eye. He sighed in frustration and pushed his bang aside, but it stubbornly fell back to place.
“What a crummy way to start my morning,” He mumbled, stretching his arms while staying placed in the center of his bed. He forcefully got up and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair looked like yellow whipped cream, and his eyes appeared to be slightly bloodshot— which would explain why it hurt when he shifted his eyes left to right, or up or down.
He sighed. ‘I wonder if Phoenix is doing anything’ he thought. Phoenix used to call him everyday to check on how he was doing. However, ever since he faced a crushing defeat to ballet champion Amy Rivera, he’s gotten depressed and never called ever since.
Ellen couldn’t help but smile. Everyday, 365 days a year, he would talk and talk through the phone like an impatient child, telling him everything that happened to him that day. He was always so happy, so innocent, so vibrant…but that was because he didn’t know— didn’t know what it felt like to
lose. Ballet meant the world to Phoenix. And then he lost.
Sometimes in life, you lose. Ellen has come extremely familiar with that realization. It’s been two years since Angelic died. That was the first time he lost.
Ellen sighed painfully and pulled off his clear, white shirt, glimpsing at the mirror. He examined his body. He was ungracefully lanky and leptosome. His backbone was clearly visible, and his nipples appeared similar to red cherries.
Ever since Angelic’s death, Ellen started to only eat small portions, which soon became a daily habit; but he’s never realized how deleterious it was until seeing his attenuated body. He passed a hand through his torso, making it’s way down to his stomach. His skin was smooth, however his bones were easily felt.
Ellen was unsure how to take the sudden cognizance, and put on a grey t-shirt. He eyed the salmon, leather ballet shoes that sat impatiently at the corner of the room, cluttered by books and old candy wrappers. He hasn’t put them on since he heard of Angelic’s death— his last performance. It was all too sudden. Just too fast.
But recovery was slow.
‘It’s been two years, and I’m still here…’ Ellen grieved. The infandous feeling pounded onto Ellen’s chest, causing a prickling in his throat he was unable to suppress, and a drastic withdrawal of his limbs, as he fell onto his knees.
Tears threatened to fall at any moment, but he blinked them back, instantly. He wouldn’t waste his time on such an action. It was pointless. Crying didn’t bring back what you lost. In the end, everything’s still the same.
The weight on Ellen’s shoulders lifted shortly afterwards, and he took a moment to get up and recollect himself. “That was so dumb,” He muttered to himself while restarting his position on his bed. Unwillingly, a soft, yet audible knock came from behind Ellen’s plain, white door. Without accordance, his mom opened the door and poked her head through.
“Good morning, sweetie,” She smiled. Ellen averted his eyes and nodded his head, as to say ‘hello’. “I hope you’re doing well…”
It seems as if she was trying to create a conversation. Ever since Angelic’s death, he became quite distant with everyone, really. Her voice was gentle, but noticeably desperate. Noticing Ellen didn’t reply, his mom looked around awkwardly and breathed in uncomfortably. “Well…” She continued. “You have a visitor.”
Ellen’s curiosity started to turn, but it wasn’t out of the norm. After Angelic’s funeral, lots of family members and close friends came to see how he was doing. Every time they asked him, though, it seems by instinct he would say he was fine; because he was never good or bad or okay.
Fine was the perfect answer. Fine was just in the middle of everything. Every part of self-hatred and sorrow hid behind his ‘fine’. And they seemed to believe it. They eventually stopped coming after his redundant reply, and he stopped talking to them as well. He mainly spoke to himself in his thoughts. Surprisingly, it was comforting. It was like another soul lived in his mind. Shortly, he forgot that voice in his head was himself, and he communicated with it daily.
Sometimes, that made him feel alone. Like now. He hadn’t realized his mom had left to retrieve his so-called ‘visitor’. He sat up slowly, crumpling the sheets far more than they already were, and adjusted his ruffled grey shirt.
Soft and cautious footsteps echoed from down the hallway, making a small ’tap’ as it crescendoed louder, suggesting it was closer to its desired location. The tapping eventually stopped, and he could feel a new presence in the room. Ellen looked up, and his body immediately paled.
“…Phoenix?” Ellen gasped, instantly fixing the tangled bedsheets. Phoenix smiled, wearing his favorite lavender tank top with jeans. Ellen surveyed Phoenix. He was deprived, and clearly suffering from severe aches— he noticed a mild limp on his right leg, and a tender muscle on his arm. Phoenix’s body seemed lanky and fragile, seeming as if he would shatter by a single touch.
Phoenix shuffled uncomfortably, lightly rubbing his right arm. It seemed as if the unresponsiveness had made him nervous, but still didn’t resort in saying anything.
“Are you okay?” Ellen finally said. Phoenix jumped slightly, and turned to him. He grinned. “Of course,” He answered. “How are you?”