Epilogue To The Farmer's Death
149. A woman went to see her doctor. The doctor asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Doctor, I don’t know whether I’ve got amnesia, or is it magnesia? I don’t know where I/m going.”
The doctor said, “Lady, if you had magnesia, you’d know where you were going.”
150. A new preacher, attempting to increase the membership in his country church, drove out in the country. He saw a farmer plowing a field. He pulled his car to the side of the road and started a conversation with the farmer. Soon, he said to the farmer, “Do you belong to the Christian family?”
The farmer said, “No, they live two farms down.”
The preacher said, “No, no. I mean, Are you lost?”
The farmer said, “No, I’ve lived here thirty years.”
The preacher: “I mean, Are you ready …show more content…
My wife will probably want to go both days.”
151. Q. Why does he ocean roar? A. If you had crabs on your bottom, you’d roar, too.
152. Q. What did the toothless termite say when he walked into the saloon? A. Where is the bar tender? Is the bar tender here?
153. Chemistry teacher: “What is the formula for water?” Student: “ H I J K L M N O.” Teacher: “Whoever told you that?” Student: “You did. You said it was H to O.”
154. Q. What did the ham say to the scrambled eggs? A. What a crazy mixed up bunch of kids!
155. A man while watching a football game on TV fell asleep on the couch. His wife let him sleep there all night. Then, in the morning, she woke him up by saying, “Honey, it’s twenty to seven.”
He answered, “Whose …show more content…
1st man: “Isn’t this beastly weather we’re having?” 2nd man: “I don’t understand.” 1st man: “Isn’t it raining cats and dogs?
161. Teacher: “What is a comet?” Student: “A star with a tail.” Teacher: “Can you give me an example?” Student: “Lassie.”
162 Q. Why did the moron put on a wet shirt?
A. Because the label says WASH AND WEAR.
163. Q. Did you hear about the man with 16 wives? A. 4 – better. 4—worse, 4—richer, 4—poorer
164. Two young men were standing at a street corner. They were looking for dates. A pretty girl walked by, winked at one of the men, and dropped her handkerchief. The man she winked at did not pick up the handkerchief and did not follow her. The other man said, “You stupid idiot! Why didn’t you pick up the handkerchief and follow her? She was asking to be picked up. Well, answer me.”
The man replied, “I use Kleenex.”
Seething with anger, the other man threw up his arms.
165. Q. Why did the moron wear his hair so long? A. So that he could create the impression that his mind was
“Oh, Doctor, I don’t know whether I’ve got amnesia, or is it magnesia? I don’t know where I/m going.”
The doctor said, “Lady, if you had magnesia, you’d know where you were going.”
150. A new preacher, attempting to increase the membership in his country church, drove out in the country. He saw a farmer plowing a field. He pulled his car to the side of the road and started a conversation with the farmer. Soon, he said to the farmer, “Do you belong to the Christian family?”
The farmer said, “No, they live two farms down.”
The preacher said, “No, no. I mean, Are you lost?”
The farmer said, “No, I’ve lived here thirty years.”
The preacher: “I mean, Are you ready …show more content…
My wife will probably want to go both days.”
151. Q. Why does he ocean roar? A. If you had crabs on your bottom, you’d roar, too.
152. Q. What did the toothless termite say when he walked into the saloon? A. Where is the bar tender? Is the bar tender here?
153. Chemistry teacher: “What is the formula for water?” Student: “ H I J K L M N O.” Teacher: “Whoever told you that?” Student: “You did. You said it was H to O.”
154. Q. What did the ham say to the scrambled eggs? A. What a crazy mixed up bunch of kids!
155. A man while watching a football game on TV fell asleep on the couch. His wife let him sleep there all night. Then, in the morning, she woke him up by saying, “Honey, it’s twenty to seven.”
He answered, “Whose …show more content…
1st man: “Isn’t this beastly weather we’re having?” 2nd man: “I don’t understand.” 1st man: “Isn’t it raining cats and dogs?
161. Teacher: “What is a comet?” Student: “A star with a tail.” Teacher: “Can you give me an example?” Student: “Lassie.”
162 Q. Why did the moron put on a wet shirt?
A. Because the label says WASH AND WEAR.
163. Q. Did you hear about the man with 16 wives? A. 4 – better. 4—worse, 4—richer, 4—poorer
164. Two young men were standing at a street corner. They were looking for dates. A pretty girl walked by, winked at one of the men, and dropped her handkerchief. The man she winked at did not pick up the handkerchief and did not follow her. The other man said, “You stupid idiot! Why didn’t you pick up the handkerchief and follow her? She was asking to be picked up. Well, answer me.”
The man replied, “I use Kleenex.”
Seething with anger, the other man threw up his arms.
165. Q. Why did the moron wear his hair so long? A. So that he could create the impression that his mind was