Example of a Well Structured Essay
Example of a well structured essay. The content isn’t that exiting and the conclusion is quite weak, but there are many good points to make on the way the essay is structured and the way the information is put across. All my comments are highlighted thus.
A good introduction.
• Does the job of clearly defining the topic covered in the essay and the specific aspects which will be discussed. See in particular last sentence of introduction. ( We will be looking at the structure of introductions more specifically in another class. )
• Grabs reader’s attention by including stats and a quote.
If you suffer from shyness, you are not alone, for shyness is a universal phenomenon. According to recent research, “close to 50 percent of the general population report that they currently experience some degree of shyness in their lives. In addition, close to 80 percent of people report having felt shy at some point in their lives” (Payne, 2000, p.5). As shyness is so prevalent in the world, it is not surprising that social scientists are learning more about its causes. They have found that shyness in an individual can result from both biological and environmental factors.
This is the thesis statement of the essay. It is the most specific sentence of the intro and indicates clearly what will be covered in the essay, and in what way it will be covered. This may be too detailed for this session and will be covered in session on paragraphs etc..
Body paragraphs are coherent and only deal with one aspect of the main topic.
Paragraph 1 – covers the genetic causes of shyness
Points are well supported by quotes
Recent research reveals that some individuals are genetically predisposed to shyness. In other words, some people are born shy. Researches say that between 15 and 20 percent of newborn babies show signs of shyness: they are quieter and more vigilant. Researchers have identified physiological differences between sociable and shy babies that show up as
A good introduction.
• Does the job of clearly defining the topic covered in the essay and the specific aspects which will be discussed. See in particular last sentence of introduction. ( We will be looking at the structure of introductions more specifically in another class. )
• Grabs reader’s attention by including stats and a quote.
If you suffer from shyness, you are not alone, for shyness is a universal phenomenon. According to recent research, “close to 50 percent of the general population report that they currently experience some degree of shyness in their lives. In addition, close to 80 percent of people report having felt shy at some point in their lives” (Payne, 2000, p.5). As shyness is so prevalent in the world, it is not surprising that social scientists are learning more about its causes. They have found that shyness in an individual can result from both biological and environmental factors.
This is the thesis statement of the essay. It is the most specific sentence of the intro and indicates clearly what will be covered in the essay, and in what way it will be covered. This may be too detailed for this session and will be covered in session on paragraphs etc..
Body paragraphs are coherent and only deal with one aspect of the main topic.
Paragraph 1 – covers the genetic causes of shyness
Points are well supported by quotes
Recent research reveals that some individuals are genetically predisposed to shyness. In other words, some people are born shy. Researches say that between 15 and 20 percent of newborn babies show signs of shyness: they are quieter and more vigilant. Researchers have identified physiological differences between sociable and shy babies that show up as
Bibliography: BENTON, P., 2004. Confessions of a shy university professor. Journal of American Psychology, 132(341), 14-16. HENDERSON, B. and S, ZIMBARDO, 2005. A study of shyness across the world. Oxford: Macmillan. PAYNE, A., 2005. Shyness and its prevalence in Europe today. Ph.D. thesis, Cambridge University. SMITH, W., 2002. Surely, being shy must have positive effects. 3rd ed. New York: Great Publishing. Please note that this bibliography is completely fictitious and is merely here to show how all essays/assignments should include a bibliography, and to give an example of how certain sources (in this case a journal article, 2 books and a thesis) are laid out according to the Harvard System. This will be covered in more details in Christina Dinsmore’s classes. Adapted from: OSHIMA, A. & HOGUE, A (2006) Writing Academic English”, 4th ed. New York: Pearson Education Ltd