In the second part of the essay, Mate discusses several anecdotes of situations that contribute to the development of addictions in his clients. He asserts that the majority of women and many men who occupy the Downtown Eastside were sexually abused as children, as well as deserted and abused in other…
While self-absorption is one example of a danger Connie experiences while growing up, Oates also exemplifies that not having close and personal relationships with others is another hazard. Throughout the story Oates exposes Connie as being somewhat of a loner in a way, but of Connie’s own choosing.…
Southern literature paper In the short story “Where are you going and Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates one of the main things that readers find is the suspicion surrounding the character Arnold Friend. Supporting this is Friend’s words which are so impactful on Connie, and why she didn’t just pick up the phone and call nine-one-one to end the whole conflict in the first place. Much of the research I found was based off this question pointing out how a person would react to this scenario. From this information I pulled out key percentages relating to real world scenarios, and information from Scholars who have already investigated the topic I am reviewing.…
Living in a world where no one seems to truly understand and everyone else is basically inferior, Connie developed a sense of discontent. Fed up with her plain mother, faultless sister, and expressionless father, she sought after the thrills and excitement of the outside world. “… Connie's mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (Oates 1). In one of the most horrible sentences in the narrative, Connie reveals just how truly miserable she is at home. Feeling incomplete and hopeless, with no one else to turn to, Connie found amusement where the experience would literally take her breath…
Arnold Friend, the antagonist, is introduced to us at the diner. Arnold Friend symbolizes the devil or the evil in this story. He watches Connie as she is leaving with another boy. Connie…
Modern society has many standards that people follow and accept: shake hands when meeting someone, do not pick nose in public, and bathe on a regular basis. Norms are just a few of the many different social needs in the world today. Abnormalities throw people through a loophole, cause confusion amongst each other, and contrast uniformity. Psychopaths lead to the death of individuals that conform to the standard and have no remorse for the action. They disrupt the flow of progress and end the life of another with no penalty of law. Psychopaths work to change how society thinks as a norm, such as a psychopath in “Cask of Amontillado,” “The Lottery,” and “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been.”…
Reis, Harry T., and Susan Sprecher. Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 2009. Print.…
(Oates p. 339) Why don’tcha come on out and just go for a ride?” At this Connie protested again and claimed she had “things to do” which made Arnold change his jovial tone to a more flat, onerous one.…
In the 1980s, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver were able to garner a lot of attention, then, when they turned attachment theory on adult relationships. In their studies, they looked at a number of couples, examining the nature of the attachments between them, and then observed how those couples reacted to various stressors and stimuli. In the case of adults, it would seem that a strong attachment is still quite important. For example, in cases where the adults had a weak attachment, there were feelings of inadequacy on the part of both parties. When attachments were too strong, there were issues with co-dependency. The relationships functioned best when both parties managed to balance intimacy with independence. Much as is the case with developing children, the ideal situation seemed to be an attachment that functioned as a secure base from which to reach out and gain experience in the world.…
Relationships can guide ones actions when faced with choices that greatly affect both parties of the relationship. Lane A. Dean Jr. is dating Sheri, the two have a looming problem of an unwanted baby on their hands. Lane deals with the troubles of deciding if he truly loves Sheri. He is worried that he is making the wrong decision based on his love or lack there of. When dealing with problems actions are commonly hindered by emotions. Furthermore relationships are strong emotional bonds, giving them control over the actions being made for the people involved. Lane never comes to a definite conclusion in the short story showing that predicaments…
In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?,” by Joyce Carol Oates, Connie, like most teens, needs support as she starts on an internal, precarious journey towards maturity. Traditionally, culture plays a major role in offering guidelines for an adolescent’s journey of solitude and personal identity. An example of these guidelines are fairytales and folklores. Fairytales are read or told to children to provide a moral understanding of good and evil by using symbolic images and happy endings. Oates frequently portrays characters and situations that resemble the themes of different fairytales throughout her short story. She merges into her story the themes of The Pied Piper of Hamelin, Little Red Riding Hood, and Cinderella. Connie is at the…
The effects of codependency can have on adult relationships are that they cannot maintain a healthy relationship because the lack of intimacy with their significant others. They detach themselves from others; they do not talk and confront their problems, touch, feel or trust anyone, and then they feel hopeless of themselves. It can benefit the co-dependent person if she/he seeks help because they can escape from this unhealthy life, and fulfill a new healthy life and relationship with others. As well as, they can start to feel the feelings that were ignored and denied during their childhood.…
In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” Connie is trying really hard to be an adult. Part of being an adult for her, involves having men be sexually attracted to her. However, there is just one problem. Connie is still a teenager, therefore she remains dependent on adults and her family.…
Death is something humans all naturally fear, but what about when it comes to death of a phase in your life?Through the themes of duality and reality vs. fantasy, Oats takes us on a journey through Connie's transformation. Imagery and symbols throughout the story strengthen the main themes to show the contrast of Connie's fantasies and reality. “Where are you going, where have you been.”, leaves us with the question can we handle such a change?…
Case Study This is a case study of Dr Lumiere a therapist and her client Daniel. The story was extracted from the website http://undividedjournal.com/2012/11/29/the-ultimate-secure-base-healing-insecure-attachment-in-the-nondual-field/ . Daniel first went to therapy because he was not capable of entering an intimate relationship. He has an insecure, avoidant attachment. Both of Daniel’s parents had histories of avoidant attachment.…