Females Response To Grief
Females Response to Grief Females in our society often have traits that and are referred to as emotional, outspoken, dramatic and soft. Being distracted and needing someone to talk to can aid in lightening the mood. It is important for women to express their emotions and to not have these traits viewed as negative. Having someone that will allow them to talk, while also being there to listen and reply without talking over them is vital for the healing process. Females need to be able to talk through situations and to express their emotions. It is crucial that the person whom she is talking with is capable of dealing with her emotional state, which might also involve crying. Women are more likely to cry but it is important to not let an individual get out of control with their emotions and become anxious or exhausted. However, some women do keep their emotions bottled up and not as open to expressing their feelings. Females still need to verbally communicate as a way of coping with their grief. They need a little bit more distance when talking and time for them to warm up to the individual they will be talking to (Doka, K. J., & Martin, T. L., 2010).
It is imperative that when a female is going through the grieving of a loved one that someone is there to nurture her, listen without interrupting, refrain from becoming judgmental, comfort them through …show more content…
touch, remember the significant difficult days such as birthdays and anniversaries and to value talking (Schwab, R., 1996). Females are different but their response to grief tends to center around the emotional, expressive realm.
Stereotypes
It is important to not stereotype individuals based on their gender. Males and females do not always respond with their predetermined stereotype based on their gender. Studies have shown that men who close off and try to stay tough through their experience of grief experience a difficult time getting over the loss and it takes them longer to return to a normal routine., Women who express their emotions often demonstrate a higher level of anxiety and stress.
Masculine and feminine are terms that have been used as ways to deal with grief, however, there are different terms that can be used as descriptors. The other terms used to describe the different types of grievers include intuitive and instrumental grievers. Intuitive grievers can be associated with our generalizations of the way woman typically grieve, which includes strong, affective reactions (waves of powerful emotions), and expressions that mirror feelings (more like an open book), (Wright, 2013). Helping a person with this type of grieving process includes moving forward, exploring, and expressing feelings, while progressing through the pain in order to heal. Instrumental grievers are associated typically with the masculine way of grieving. This includes more thinking than feeling (inward, quiet process, show less of an expression of emotion), being physical and expressing grief through doing something (I could not fix my daughter but I can fix this broken door), (Wright, 2013). Helping these types of grievers is a little complicated. To help these grievers through the pain you will need to figure out problems by breaking them down into manageable steps, gather information on what their new roles may be after the loss of someone, and use humor because laughing can tend to have the same relief as crying. You can also help this type of griever by providing distractions such as taking care of a pet, and/or talking to them about another subject.
There is no right or wrong way to the grieving process. A female can be an instrumental or an intuitive griever and the same can be said for a male. However, the typical model is for females to be intuitive and males to be instrumental. Reference to these models in these terms removes the stereotype of feminine and masculine. Calling some who is grieving a masculine griever if they are a female tends to have a negative impact compared to saying instrumental griever. For this reason there are new terms that have been attached to the grieving process which are not gender specific.
Gender Differences when a Loved One Passes Although everyone deals with grief differently no matter the gender females proved to less likely to handle the stress and grief of losing a loved one well.
They were significantly higher with grief in the categories of atypical response, despair, anger/hostility, guilt, loss of control, rumination, somatization, loss of vigor, physical symptoms, and optimism/despair. Males and females had about the same response to grief in the categories of denial social desirability, social isolation, death anxiety and loss of appetite (Thompson, L. W., Gallagher-Thompson, D., Futterman, A., Gilewski, M. J., & Peterson, J.,
1991). Individuals who have lost a child seem to have very similar grieving tendencies whether they are male or female. Those who have experienced the death of a child reveal more intense grief reactions, greater depression, deeper anger, and profound guilt, along with feelings of despair. Parents are often heard saying that they should always outlive their children. Widowed women show significantly more grief for a longer period of time in the categories of anger, social isolation, depersonalization, sleep disturbances and loss of appetite than widowed men. Men show a lower percentage of grief than women when they attended church and have a church family. In addition, they are more likely to have an increased appetite, optimism, less anger and social desirability. This result is likely due to the fact that men are more internalized than women so church is more of an internal aspect of dealing with grief. Women who were singers and dancers at church showed better outcomes with their grief response. The death of a child showed the highest intensity of bereavement and grief in both males and females, the death of a spouse showed more bereavement and grief in women versus men and the death of a parent showed more bereavement and grief in a woman versus a man (Sanders, Catherine M, 1980). The results observed in this study became clear when reflecting on how a male reacts to the loss of a loved one versus the way a female typically reacts to the loss. A male is likely to show the same amount of grief when losing a child because they feel like they controlled the life of that child. Therefore, they have failed at protecting their child and tend to question if they did everything possible. This is very similar as to why a female grieves about the same amount as a male in this situation because she has created a living human and feels she has failed at protecting them. A female likely grieves a little more than a male when losing a parent or a spouse because they tend to be more dependent upon others to help them through their pain and suffering. Women tend to go to their parents more when they are suffering and they also go to their spouse. Males typically are not as dependent upon others in their emotional support. They tend to be more internalized with their emotions and therefore mourn alone.
Conclusion
In conclusion the differences in the grieving and bereavement process of a male versus a female can be similar but yet different. Females tend to grieve more openly and look upon others to help them manage their pain and suffering. They reach out to their loved ones to talk, they do not like judgment, and they like to have a listening ear. Males tend to be different in their grieving process and tend to be more internal with their emotions. They often look to their church for help with their pain and suffering, they like to keep to themselves, stay busy, fix something and have people present but not always to talk (Levang, E., 1998). Women tend to have a longer grieving process when losing a parent or a spouse (Martin, T. L., & Doka, K. J., 1999). Males and females tend to have a similar grieving process when it comes to losing a child. Men and women do not always fall under masculine and feminine categories in grieving they might fall under intuitive and instrumental categories (Gentry, J. W., & Goodwin, C., 1995). Just because an individual is a male does not mean they will have the socially accepted male grieving process and just because the individual is a female does not mean they will have the socially accepted female grieving process. How you deal with someone who is experiencing grief and bereavement can be very different based on the person and you must be cautious and gentle as you learn their grief type and assist them with their needs through this time of loss.
It is imperative that when a female is going through the grieving of a loved one that someone is there to nurture her, listen without interrupting, refrain from becoming judgmental, comfort them through …show more content…
touch, remember the significant difficult days such as birthdays and anniversaries and to value talking (Schwab, R., 1996). Females are different but their response to grief tends to center around the emotional, expressive realm.
Stereotypes
It is important to not stereotype individuals based on their gender. Males and females do not always respond with their predetermined stereotype based on their gender. Studies have shown that men who close off and try to stay tough through their experience of grief experience a difficult time getting over the loss and it takes them longer to return to a normal routine., Women who express their emotions often demonstrate a higher level of anxiety and stress.
Masculine and feminine are terms that have been used as ways to deal with grief, however, there are different terms that can be used as descriptors. The other terms used to describe the different types of grievers include intuitive and instrumental grievers. Intuitive grievers can be associated with our generalizations of the way woman typically grieve, which includes strong, affective reactions (waves of powerful emotions), and expressions that mirror feelings (more like an open book), (Wright, 2013). Helping a person with this type of grieving process includes moving forward, exploring, and expressing feelings, while progressing through the pain in order to heal. Instrumental grievers are associated typically with the masculine way of grieving. This includes more thinking than feeling (inward, quiet process, show less of an expression of emotion), being physical and expressing grief through doing something (I could not fix my daughter but I can fix this broken door), (Wright, 2013). Helping these types of grievers is a little complicated. To help these grievers through the pain you will need to figure out problems by breaking them down into manageable steps, gather information on what their new roles may be after the loss of someone, and use humor because laughing can tend to have the same relief as crying. You can also help this type of griever by providing distractions such as taking care of a pet, and/or talking to them about another subject.
There is no right or wrong way to the grieving process. A female can be an instrumental or an intuitive griever and the same can be said for a male. However, the typical model is for females to be intuitive and males to be instrumental. Reference to these models in these terms removes the stereotype of feminine and masculine. Calling some who is grieving a masculine griever if they are a female tends to have a negative impact compared to saying instrumental griever. For this reason there are new terms that have been attached to the grieving process which are not gender specific.
Gender Differences when a Loved One Passes Although everyone deals with grief differently no matter the gender females proved to less likely to handle the stress and grief of losing a loved one well.
They were significantly higher with grief in the categories of atypical response, despair, anger/hostility, guilt, loss of control, rumination, somatization, loss of vigor, physical symptoms, and optimism/despair. Males and females had about the same response to grief in the categories of denial social desirability, social isolation, death anxiety and loss of appetite (Thompson, L. W., Gallagher-Thompson, D., Futterman, A., Gilewski, M. J., & Peterson, J.,
1991). Individuals who have lost a child seem to have very similar grieving tendencies whether they are male or female. Those who have experienced the death of a child reveal more intense grief reactions, greater depression, deeper anger, and profound guilt, along with feelings of despair. Parents are often heard saying that they should always outlive their children. Widowed women show significantly more grief for a longer period of time in the categories of anger, social isolation, depersonalization, sleep disturbances and loss of appetite than widowed men. Men show a lower percentage of grief than women when they attended church and have a church family. In addition, they are more likely to have an increased appetite, optimism, less anger and social desirability. This result is likely due to the fact that men are more internalized than women so church is more of an internal aspect of dealing with grief. Women who were singers and dancers at church showed better outcomes with their grief response. The death of a child showed the highest intensity of bereavement and grief in both males and females, the death of a spouse showed more bereavement and grief in women versus men and the death of a parent showed more bereavement and grief in a woman versus a man (Sanders, Catherine M, 1980). The results observed in this study became clear when reflecting on how a male reacts to the loss of a loved one versus the way a female typically reacts to the loss. A male is likely to show the same amount of grief when losing a child because they feel like they controlled the life of that child. Therefore, they have failed at protecting their child and tend to question if they did everything possible. This is very similar as to why a female grieves about the same amount as a male in this situation because she has created a living human and feels she has failed at protecting them. A female likely grieves a little more than a male when losing a parent or a spouse because they tend to be more dependent upon others to help them through their pain and suffering. Women tend to go to their parents more when they are suffering and they also go to their spouse. Males typically are not as dependent upon others in their emotional support. They tend to be more internalized with their emotions and therefore mourn alone.
Conclusion
In conclusion the differences in the grieving and bereavement process of a male versus a female can be similar but yet different. Females tend to grieve more openly and look upon others to help them manage their pain and suffering. They reach out to their loved ones to talk, they do not like judgment, and they like to have a listening ear. Males tend to be different in their grieving process and tend to be more internal with their emotions. They often look to their church for help with their pain and suffering, they like to keep to themselves, stay busy, fix something and have people present but not always to talk (Levang, E., 1998). Women tend to have a longer grieving process when losing a parent or a spouse (Martin, T. L., & Doka, K. J., 1999). Males and females tend to have a similar grieving process when it comes to losing a child. Men and women do not always fall under masculine and feminine categories in grieving they might fall under intuitive and instrumental categories (Gentry, J. W., & Goodwin, C., 1995). Just because an individual is a male does not mean they will have the socially accepted male grieving process and just because the individual is a female does not mean they will have the socially accepted female grieving process. How you deal with someone who is experiencing grief and bereavement can be very different based on the person and you must be cautious and gentle as you learn their grief type and assist them with their needs through this time of loss.