Four Parenting Styles Paper

In 1978, Dr. Diana Baumrind was the first to define the four parenting styles. Since then, there have been more styles that utilize different category designs. For Baumrind, her categories were responsiveness and demandingness. Responsiveness is defined as warmth: a parent's response to the needs of a child in an accepting and supporting way. Responsiveness can also be used interchangeable with love. Parents use love as a tool to teach right from wrong, increase a child's self-esteem, and encourage individualism. In order to portray love, these parents use a combination of communication, negotiation, and reason. Demandingness, or limits, refers to a parent's expectation of mature, responsible behavior. Parents use limits and expectations
to teach respect and provide a sound structure for their child. Consequently, the use of control and harsh discipline is used.
The differences between the four styles is easily seen and defined in the following chart:
Baumrind's Four Parenting Styles
Demandingness
Responsiveness Low High Low Uninvolved Authoritarian High Permissive Authoritative

Authoritative or democratic parents are considered flexible, using negotiation and communication with control and discipline to allow for give-and-take situations.
They are less likely to use physical punishment. These parents encourage a child's uniqueness and gives love and respect. They offer their support in everything the child does, even when the result is failure. Rather they encourage a healthy rebound.
Authoritarian parents are seen as highly directive individuals who value obedience to maintain order. They tend to monopolize a child and hold them to, sometimes, unreasonable goals. These parents constantly supervise, give reminders, and instruct their child in every aspect of everyday life. In some extremes and due to external sources, authoritarian parents give excessive amounts of duties and chores upon a child, which would cause a child to miss out on the "carefree" aspect of childhood. These parents also discourage discussion between them and their children Permissive or indulgent parents would rather avoid problematic behavior and allow a child a great deal of freedom. They will prefer to submit to a child who throws a temper tantrum and demands to avoid a big confrontation and become unable to say
'no'.
Uninvolved parents show no interest in the life of the child and may actively reject or neglect the child. This may be due to a preoccupation with work, poverty, wealth, alcoholism, divorce, or illness.
Children can be influenced by different parenting styles. The following chart summaries the effects that coincide with the different parenting styles.
Parenting Style Resulting Effects on Children
Authoritative Child learns to cope easily, not afraid to try and fail.
Resilient
Individuated
Mature
Self-regulated and responsible
Achievement oriented
Highest scores on standardized testing
Sees the world as friendly and safe
Communicates better
Authoritarian Have a multitude of problems
Less individuated and very submissive (docile behavior)
Show lower degree of social skills, ego development
Perform poorly on standardized testing
See parents as restrictive
Tends to be actively rebellious and overtly defiant
Shows passive resistance: dawdling, daydreaming, forgetting
Permissive Less assertive and initiative
Smart, but less achievement oriented
Show less self-regulation and social responsibility
Likely to use drugs
Loses spontaneity
Indifferent
Sees adults as the providers of pleasure and comfort
Uninvolved Antisocial, Immature, Lack self-regulation
Lack the ability to form close relationships
Have the most internalizing and externalizing problems
Low scores on achievement tests
Reject parents in the position of role models
Most likely to use drugs and alcohol
Feels like he/she is alone in the world

Children will become adults someday. The following chart attempts to predict the children of the various parenting styles and their outlooks on different aspects on adulthood.
Parental style Adult attitude Attitude towards life Attitude towards others Attitude towards work Attitude towards sex and marriage
Authoritative Feels connected, part of life. Positive attitude. Willing to improve life. Willing to help, share with, contribute to, and cooperate with others. Work useful to others. Does his best to offer value. Can lead or cooperate on a team. Sex as expression of mature love, caring, and giving. Feels equal to partner.
Authoritarian Extremely responsible.
Hard time letting-go and playing. Anxiety about relaxation. No mental refreshment Takes on excessive obligations, often depriving others of their share of responsibility or opportunity. May be resistant to schedules and expectations, or may push self and others unmercifully. Always feels hard-pressed and driven. Fears everything would "go to hell" if he lets down. Sex and marriage may be seen as duties and be carried out resentfully without satisfaction. Never gets around to carefree times. Inability to relax.
Permissive Self-indulgent, bored, apathetic, restless, no initiative. Very impulsive, hard to set limits, extravagant, has tantrums. Passive expectation of getting from others. Expects them to anticipate his wishes. Hates to work. Can't find a job. No career decisions, no preparation, or persistence. Expects admiration for modest effort. Attaches to partners who indulge him. May use attractiveness or pretend weakness. Wants to be waited on, chooses a servant. Selfish, inconsiderate. Feels hurt if not catered
to.
Uninvolved Tends to be impulsive, filling life with compensation for a feeling of emptiness. Lonely. Does not make close and meaningful contact. Superficial, exploitative relationships. Hides behind aloofness. May strive compulsively after wealth, success, or fame to relieve feeling of emptiness. Stage performing may offer fantasy identities. May yearn for partner to play a parent role, offering unlimited attention, acceptance, or affection. May be promiscuous, getting what he can from many.

The three parenting styles may not be so distinct in real life. Every parent will spend a bit of time in each one. A normally democratic mother may become permissive when she has too much to do. A permissive father might become authoritarian when he becomes frustrated with his child's extreme selfishness. Most parents have a dominant style of parenting that they use throughout their child's life, but circumstances and relationship dynamics frequently produce a mix of styles. Parenting styles are broad categories that can overlap, shift, mix, and change over time.
I believed that birth order has a lot to do with how a parent reacts to his/her children. My dad has changed from an authoritarian to an authoritative parent. I was the first-born, and there is a marked difference between the way my parents treat my sister and I. It has always felt like they had expected more from me. I always tell my sister that I had opened the door for her. My mum is the authoritative one. She always tries and explains things to me in her own way and makes sure that I understand, but she also gives me time to think it. To tell the truth, I sometimes hated my parents for their bias treatment of my sister and I. Then again, I think I was quite a difficult child, both rebellious nonconforming, but it just hurts when the phrase "Don't be like your sister" is used. Nevertheless, I grew up well adjusted and happy.
I did not plan on becoming a mother at such a young age. I felt like there are so many things left unexperienced. However, my husband and I have been enjoying Andrew for whom he is. He is such a bundle of joy. We are the new generation parents, and we are nurturing a new generation. We like to let him learn by experience and not stifle him. Letting him roam around and get into things is the best way for him to see the world. Why be so concerned about letting Andrew get into things? Someone had commented that we are the most casual set of parents she has ever met. I like to think of that in a positive way. I often draw from my childhood experiences and bring myself to Andrew's level to become a better parent, because what better way is there to understand our children than to become children ourselves?