Friendship: Interpersonal Relationship and Friendships
Friends and Friendships in Emerging Adulthood
Carolyn McNamara Barry*
Loyola University Maryland
Stephanie D. Madsen
McDaniel College
“I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.”1 These lyrics began each episode of the popular sitcom Friends. The trials and tribulations of these six “20-something” friends captivated the American public for a decade until Ross, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel eventually transitioned to adulthood at the show’s closure. Perhaps the show’s popularity was due to having some truth in the fiction: (a) friends can be a proxy family for young people, offering invaluable advice, support, and companionship; (b) friends can be of the same or opposite sex, but these two types of friendship work differently; (c) friends may engage in casual sex, but may also become involved romantically; (d) friendships are central to the lives of emerging adults, especially those who are single and not in a serious romantic relationship; and (e) friends help people to figure themselves out and influence their behavior, potentially for both good and bad. As is the case with all TV shows, there is also pure fiction in this sitcom: these six friends lived in the same apartments in the same city and often held down the same job for over a decade. Instead, instability is more the norm among reallife emerging adults. Also, most American young people get married and become parents in their late 20s rather than the 30s (as the sitcom depicted). So while close friendships are critical to emerging adults’ happiness, search for their identities, and true loves, friends become less important once they’ve figured out the big questions of life and “settle down” in marriage, parenthood, and careers. Still, for emerging adults, friends can fill the growing gap between the time when they leave the families they grew
* Carolyn McNamara Barry is an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. Stephanie Madsen is an associate professor of
Carolyn McNamara Barry*
Loyola University Maryland
Stephanie D. Madsen
McDaniel College
“I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.”1 These lyrics began each episode of the popular sitcom Friends. The trials and tribulations of these six “20-something” friends captivated the American public for a decade until Ross, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel eventually transitioned to adulthood at the show’s closure. Perhaps the show’s popularity was due to having some truth in the fiction: (a) friends can be a proxy family for young people, offering invaluable advice, support, and companionship; (b) friends can be of the same or opposite sex, but these two types of friendship work differently; (c) friends may engage in casual sex, but may also become involved romantically; (d) friendships are central to the lives of emerging adults, especially those who are single and not in a serious romantic relationship; and (e) friends help people to figure themselves out and influence their behavior, potentially for both good and bad. As is the case with all TV shows, there is also pure fiction in this sitcom: these six friends lived in the same apartments in the same city and often held down the same job for over a decade. Instead, instability is more the norm among reallife emerging adults. Also, most American young people get married and become parents in their late 20s rather than the 30s (as the sitcom depicted). So while close friendships are critical to emerging adults’ happiness, search for their identities, and true loves, friends become less important once they’ve figured out the big questions of life and “settle down” in marriage, parenthood, and careers. Still, for emerging adults, friends can fill the growing gap between the time when they leave the families they grew
* Carolyn McNamara Barry is an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. Stephanie Madsen is an associate professor of