Grief And Agreement Research Paper

The Fifth Agreement: Grief and Agreements

The Fifth Agreement: Grief and Agreements
Death is something that we cannot hide from, run from, or escape, it is inevitable. Each and every one of us at some point in our lives, we will have to deal with the death of someone we know or someone we love. At this point we will have to learn how to navigate the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Grief can be felt at different magnitudes and different times. For some of us, we will be able to slowly negotiate our way through these stages, while for others it will be the hardest thing we will have to do in our lives. The five agreements that, Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Joe Ruiz, and Janet Mills, describe
I believe that, this stage and the second agreement are directly connected because I took my father’s death to be a personal assault on my family as a whole. Why him, why me, why us? What did we do wrong to do deserve this loss? Here was a man that devoted his life to helping others, sacrificed time with his family so that other people could be with theirs. It did not seem fair, that he was taken from us. I think my anger got the best of me for a long time, and I eventually got to a point where I did not even recognize myself. I think that the “Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery,” does a good job demonstrating how I felt during this time. Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz, and Janet Mills, explain how “you come to the conclusion that you don’t even know yourself, because you’ve been acting for so long that you’ve mastered pretending to be what you are not” (53). I had to stop questioning his death and come to terms with that fact that he was gone, because blaming everyone for his death was not going to bring him back. When you finally realize that not everyone is out to get you, and “it’s something so simple and logical: Don’t take anything personally” (54). Once you “Don’t Take Anything Personally” (41), you can overcome your
Depression, can eat you up inside, it is an uncontrollable feeling of sadness, helplessness, and loneliness. This stage can be especially difficult for someone that has lost a loved one or a family member as they are deeply connected. The fourth agreement, “Always Do Your Best,” is extremely relevant during this stage of grief because “your best is, in fact, the only thing you can do” (86). “You can do your best, and that’s it. No more, no less” (86), even if that means only getting through that minute, that hour, that day. This is concept is so important to never lose sight of, particularly when you are dealing with the loss of a loved one. I think that even though depression is a stage by itself, it is also felt through every stage of grief. There are definitely times where you will be more responsive to the different feelings that depression can provoke, but it can always be an underlying factor. Initially I did not struggle with this stage as much as most people probably do, I think it is because of the amazing support system that I have. However, now that it has been a couple years, since my dad’s death, I have started to struggle with feelings of depression more and more. It’s not that I have not lost my support system, but after the first year people think it should not hurt as much. Just as that hurt is supposed to disappear slowly, I feel like a lot of the time the support starts