Guns Diary Entry

September 1, 1941-morning and midday I woke up this morning to the sound of guns firing and complete chaos. It was around five o’clock, in people were banging on my door. They were dressed in uniforms, with black coats, hats, and black boots, and were demanding me and my family to come with them. I didn’t know what to say or do, and I couldn’t defend myself, because they had guns, and I did not. Guns always beat non-guns. We followed the men, and I thought to myself “What am I doing? Please, God, help me. Help me through this situation, help to keep my family safe, help. Please.” About nine hours had passed, and the men had loaded us all onto trains, which looked like cattle cars, we were moving. We were moving for a few hours, when we stopped,
We were woken up around four o’clock this morning, where we then stood in rows, again, for roll call, which they call “Appell.” Then we had breakfast, which was a very small ration of watery soup, a small piece of bread, and some kind of imitation coffee. They brought us to the showers, where there wasn’t soap, and just very dirty water. They put us to work, for six hours in the morning. This morning, I moved heavy sandbags from one place to another, for six straight hours. Another whistle blew, and it was time for lunch. For lunch, they served us the same thing we got for breakfast; watery-soup and bread, this time, there wasn’t coffee. After lunch, we went back to work. This time, they gave me a shovel and told me to dig a tunnel. I wish I could have dug a tunnel that lead to somewhere far, far away from here. Towards the end of the day, one of the prisoners next to me fainted, so the guards started beating him. He couldn’t get up, so they killed him. They killed him right there, right in front of me. They told me that when we walked back, it was my responsibility to bring him to Appell. I brought him there, of course, where it was the same as yesterday. Standing for hours, watching more hangings, this all made me so sad. I haven’t seen my family since we got here. I hope they are safe. I hope their conditions are better than mine. We headed back to the barracks, where a man with a green triangle on his uniform made us do exercises before we could go
I haven’t changed since I got here, I am still in this striped jumpsuit, along with everyone else here. We walked to Appell again this morning, where they took the roll call, and then brought us to breakfast. After breakfast, they told us that we could shower, but they brought us to a different place than yesterday. This place was bigger, and it looked more like an empty room, with a few faucets. There was so many of us, much more than yesterday. This did not seem like a shower. Water was not coming out of these faucets. I realized what was happening. I began to pray to God, hoping that I would be safe, but during this time, I was beginning to question if there even was a God, and if so, why was he allowing such cruel events like this to happen. Everyone around me began to choke and suffocate, and the same was happening to me. Suddenly, everything just went black. I couldn’t see or hear anything, and I had lost