Human Sexuality Report

I believe that the effect that this Human Sexuality course has had on me was very different than it would have had for the general public. My family happens to be very conservative (typical in Alberta I know). For instance, my maternal grandmother believed that women only had 2 holes and that our vagina and urethra was in the same whole just like males, rather than us having 3 separate holes- the vagina opening, anus opening, and the urethra opening. However, the conservative nature of my family was destroyed and we became more liberal when my mother had me at seventeen and then, was raped at and had her second oldest daughter and my first sister at the age of nineteen. Then we learnt that my aunt was also sexually assaulted, she then married
a man, got a divorce, and came out as a lesbian. Since she began living her true identity she has since remarried to a beautiful women and they have adopted 3 siblings. Devastatingly enough their youngest daughter had been sexually assaulted from the age of one until she was taken away from her biological mom at the age of 4. All of these devastating life events didn’t have that much of an effect on me because I didn’t know about them until I was older or my aunties didn’t get married until I was nine. What sprouted my own liberal/open perspective on sex and sexuality is when I was six years old my best friend would bring her little sister over and they would just sit in our bath tub for hours. This naturally led me to ask questions of my mom. I would ask why they didn’t shower at there own home, or why they cried so much, or how could they stay in the bath for so long without becoming as wrinkly as prunes. My mom of course answered my questions very honestly, but in a child friendly matter. Then when I was thirteen this same friend of mine became pregnant, and she was carrying her father’s child. At thirteen I only had a very basic and realistic understanding of sex, body parts and how babies were made, so when my young friend became pregnant this started the route of non stop questions directed at my mom. So, my mom went into more detail, I learnt about my families past and the horrifying acts of sexual assault. This opened the door for the talk of sex and sexuality that never closed. I am so thankful that my mother was very open with me and my siblings, and that we learnt what things meant, what they did and what was acceptable and what was not. It is because of my mother teaching us that I came into this class with a very open and knowledgeable perspective on the information in which we have discussed.
Even though I came into this class very open minded and knowledgeable I still learnt an abundance of information, and, I also taught my grandma some things as well! Some of the things that I appreciate learning about at a different degree then I already knew was the anatomy of the male reproduction organs, and the difference between a circumcised and not circumcised penis. Learning about male circumcision has influenced my perspective in a way that I didn’t much expect, because of our discussions I have been able to make an educated decision on not circumcising my future son. I made this decision when I learnt that there is a very bare minimum benefit to it, and that young babies are hardly ever given a sedative medication to easy the pain- they are literally getting a piece of their penis cut off without any pain relief and that is unnecessary pain to put your child through.
Something that confused me going into the class was the differences in the transsexual community and the mechanics on sex reassignment surgeries.
Because of this class I know understand that a transgender individual is an individual whose appearance or behaviors do not conform traditional gender roles, these individuals do not what to change their physical bodies. And, a transvestite is an individual who chooses to and find joy in cross dressing. It was actually really funny, during the time that we were talking about sexuality in class my grandmother came over and was talking about this male that came into her place of work all dressed like a female. I was so grateful that I was able to sit down with my grandmother, explain to her what this individual was doing and why they may have been doing as such. Afterwards I was able to explain to her how an individual may choose to go through the sex reassignment process and change their sex to their natural gender. One thing that we talked about in the sexuality unit was the idea of two spirits, which is a theory present in a lot of indigenous communities. Two spirited individuals are people who express characteristics of both male and female gender roles and are a great value to the community. I love this idea and it will stick with me forever because, it shows such a natural and beautiful state of equality and that everybody no matter how they choose to live their life are valuable to a
community.
The other topic that I learnt an outstanding amount of information about was the love chapter. In a family that has experienced a lot of pain and have lived strongly through it, we are very affectionate and loyal to each other. However, something that I never learnt about was the distinct pieces to love, I only really learnt what love is and what is a healthy relationship. I love that I now have an understanding of Sternberg’s triangular theory. And, that love will go through phases- passion, intimacy, commitment all in hopes to find consummate love. I have been with my partner since him and I were in high school, we have been together for two and a half years. I will be the first one to tell anyone that a relationship is not all daisies, rainbows and kittens, that maintaining a relationship is hard. There have been times that I have gone to my mom in tears saying “mom I think we are growing apart” and all my mom had to say for me was that sometimes being in a relationship is like living with a room mate and I never understood what she meant. Now that I have learnt about love in a psychological perspective I understand that we are not growing apart, and that what we are experiencing is the stages or evolution of a relationship. I truly believe that this knowledge will allow me to relieve some stress from myself in the future when we may be fighting again.
I am so grateful that I now have a different form of knowledge base around human sexuality.
I was so excited to take this class and it has not disappointed me one bit. I know that it may be a little odd for you to receive a paper as such where the first paragraph is filled with such personal information. However, I felt like it was important for me to share with you. I felt this way because I didn’t know how to start a paper by just saying that a lot of the things we learned I have talked about at home, that doesn’t make for a very realistic or respectable argument. I felt like it was important for you to know that it was not because of your teaching that I may not have come out of this class with as much as an eye opening as other students, but that it was my life events that have pushed/allowed for me to have this understanding or perspective on human sexuality. Thank you very
much.