Humorous Wedding Speech: Not Such A Beautiful Day

Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m very delighted to welcome you all here on such a beautiful day. When ____ was fourteen, she gained a few missing pieces from her puzzle. She may say that those first fourteen years of life were bliss; however, we all know the fun started when she met me. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity.
I am very honoured to be standing by your side for one of the most important day of your life. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jamela and I am _____’s maid of honour and the sister that she has always wanted, as well as the captain of the Dream Team. Remember that assignment in Grade 12 Transactional English and I wrote a speech about you the night before
Let me break down the basis of our friendship: support, dedication, and understanding. When I look back on our high school adventures, there were so many amusing memories that we share. We cried together, laughed together, laughed until we cried together, but the former was done the most. We have inside jokes that only we find hilarious. Tenth grade AP Chemistry tied us together like a blood pact, seeing as that subject was the toughest. We always said that we either survived this subject or die for each other doing
____ and I have trouble expressing affection towards each other, but we can tell that we care about each other through our little actions, such as asking each other how we are or if the other person got home safely from a night of partying. Both of us can express our thoughts and feelings to one another without being judged. Understanding one another is a pillar of our friendship.
Aside from how great ____ is, I’d like to offer three pieces of advice.
1. She is always right and always wins bets. I can concur with this one.
2. She never looks fat in anything. This reason because we were online shopping once at this Asian website, and she asked me what her size was when she gave me her measurements. Let’s just say that her thoughts were completely different to what I told her.
3. If you have a disagreement or argument, go back to advice number 1.
I want you to know that I had trouble writing this! I had to think about this over and over again very carefully so I didn’t roast you. Words on a piece of paper aren’t enough to describe of how great a friend you are and how much I love you. I know God crossed our paths for a reason and I will forever be grateful. As the bud of the lotus opens, the inner and outside petals have not been tainted or stained by dirty water. It is pure. It is bright. It is beautiful. To love, to laughter, to happily ever after; a wonderful love has bloomed this