I Hate This Me Research Paper
I hate my life! Everyone thinks I'm perfect, but I'm not. I guess I look the part I am popular with popular friends and a cute boyfriend. I go shopping for designer clothes and get straight A's, what's not to like? I am not this person on the inside but everyone has changed me. My real name is Nicole and I really want to play sports but my friends discourage this. So to fit in I go by Nikki(because it's cooler) and I go shopping instead of playing sports because that's what everyone else does. Although I have lots of friends there not my true friends because I never actually want to be with them. I hate this me but I can't say no. One day I decided to channel my inner anger at myself into something greater, I started a project that
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would benefit others so they wouldn't ever end up like me. I read about a person that was able to channel their feelings so they could read others and I wanted to do that. So I practice every day after school so I could read other peoples emotions and even predict their near future. I would practice by listening to what wasn't being said and seeing into their minds by trying to feel what they were feeling. No one knew about my secret power and so I would practice on my little brother who is very easy to read and he would tell me what he was feeling. This was a secret identity that I was creating and I was much more proud of it then my pedicure. As my ideas and strains continue to grow I created a secret identity and a costume. Since I was still living my perfect life I didn't want to let other people know that I was living a false identity so my costume just looks like any other clothes that I own. It was a pink sparkly dress with the words x-ray girl written across the belt. One day I knew I needed to work on my costume but my friends on me go shopping with them. "I can't" I lied. " I have way too much homework" I said with as much dread as I could pretend to have. "Please Nikki, when have you ever said no to shopping?" Ask my "friend" Keisha. "I really can't I'm sorry" I said with sorrow. The sorrow wasn't for the lack of shopping though. I felt so terrible for saying no, I wanted to tell them that I change my mind. I can't say no to people it just tears me in two. What is the secret of life really what I wanted? I could never do this especially if I couldn't say no to my friends. A week later I went out on my first mission. I was scared that I would make a fool of myself, or were someone would know it was me. It was basketball game when I felt someone else's feelings and stepped into action. A girl named Jill sat in front of me I recognized her because she sat in front of me in algebra. She seemed okay but she was always really quiet so I stayed away from her. "Jill come on let's go to the party" said another girl who I did not recognize. I could feel Jill's feelings and I saw she really didn't want to go to the party. As I continue to read her feelings I saw that she was into the game and did not want to leave. I looked future I saw this party was going to be trouble I could not let Jill go. Our school is filled with cheers and the smell popcorn as I walked up to Jill and her "friends". As they rudely stared at me I said to Jill. "Hey do you want to hang out after we watch the game?" " Umm." She started to answer until she was cut off. "She's coming with me" Said the scary looking brunette. As I read the brunettes mind I realize she was up to no good. I found out her name is Christy and she didn't plan on going to a party she was intending to take Jill and rob a store and then blame it on her. I could not let this happen. So I decided to talk to Christy and she desperately want to Jill to come with her. I tried telling her that Jill was busy but she wouldn't listen. "Jill is coming with me. " I said with as much Authority as possible. Next thing I knew I was slammed up against the wall. I knew what I needed to do but I was so scared. I gritted my teeth and told Christy "Calm down and let me go!" "No she's coming with me" Christy exclaimed. I pushed her back with all the force I had and she let go. Relief rushed over me like an ocean beach is washed over in water. That was not what I was expecting. As I took another deep breath I realize my hands were shaking from fear and adrenaline. The good news was that that I saw that Jill knew the truth and that she was with a different group of people now. I woke up the next day realizing what I did last night, I stood up for what I believed in! No one understands how good it feels to be able to be yourself and stand up for what you believe in. No one knew it was me and I was still able to help Jill. Wait! My eyes shot wide open! I was supposed to be with my boyfriend and my friends at the game last night, instead I was X-Ray girl. Great. Now he is calling me, it's time to pretend like I actually want to live this way. "Hey John" I tried to put some enthusiasm in my voice. "Hey Nikki, where were you last night?" He asked. "I'm sorry I totally forgot. I had a headache and I just wanted to sleep." I lied. "Whatever, you are such a lier. I saw you there last night, I was just wondering if you wold tell me the truth. We are over." Then he just hung up. Tears poured down my face and I didn't stop crying for the next two hours. I needed to get over him, I didn't even like him, but it still hurt. I guess it was upset because he was part of my perfect image and it was falling apart because I tried to be myself, under a secret identity. It has been a week now since I have been dumped. I saved two other people from trouble at the mall this week. I am getting much better at my abilities now that I don't have to worry about having a boyfriend. I went out in my "X-Ray girl" clothes on a Saturday morning for a walk around my neighborhood when I heard my neighbor talking on a phone, he said "I know. We will have to do it soon if we are going to do it. They are gone the 20th though the 23rd, this month, so I will do it then." Wait, we are gone the 20th though the 23rd, we are going on a trip to Hollywood. Could they be doing something to my house or my family? I waited for the next few minutes until he hung up.
I couldn't read his mind until he was off the phone because electronic devices block my readings, this is one of my few weaknesses. Finally! He sat down his phone and I got a clear reading of his mind. My neighbor was planning on robbing home while we were away! How did he know we would be gone? As I continued to read his thoughts I saw a picture of binoculars, then a picture of my mom, but I was a view from the front window. He has been stalking my family! I thought we lived in a safe neighborhood! We live in a gated community where celebrities live! I was so disturbed that I would probably never be home alone again! My family doesn't know about my power so I could not tell them about my disturbing counter with our neighbor Mr. Johnson. Every day I kept all of my windows covered in doors closed so he would not see me. I had to find a way to save my family before we lose everything. I could not tell the police or anyone else because then I don't have to explain how I knew this and that would require explaining my power. I was not ready to reveal my power to everyone and the cops probably wouldn't believe me …show more content…
anyways. Maybe I could fake being sick and stay home to fight the robber. That wouldn't work though because he might be art and I do not want to get hurt. I also don't want my family to get hurt so I have to figure this out in soon. It was the 19th, The day before the robbery and as I was packing my bags I thought about what might happen.
I overpack for my three day trip but I packed all my replaceable and valuable items just in case this really did happen. I finally decided that you would be best to come clean with my parents and explain everything. It would take some convincing but I was confident that we could stop this creepy robber. It was time to leave for a trip so I told my parents that I needed to talk to them. "OK honey, what's up?" My mom asked. "Mom, dad there is something I have been keeping from you. Although I am popular, I don't want to be. I want to play sports and ghost and not go shopping but everyone has changed me. I have been molded into someone I'm not because I can't say no." "That's OK honey those are just your feelings. Is that that has been bothering you?" Asked my dad. "No I'm not done." I Said with a blank look on my face. "Okay then what is it?" My dad
questioned. "I was so upset with myself that I started to grow a power. I wanted to read others emotions and thoughts so I could help others so they don't end up like me. Every day after school I would practice my power nine able to reload thoughts and predict their near future. This is the way that I can show who I truly am on the inside. I know it sounds crazy, so I get it if you don't believe me but, I have urgent news to tell you. Our neighbor, Mr. Johnson is planning on robbing us this weekend. I know this sounds wrong but it's not,
would benefit others so they wouldn't ever end up like me. I read about a person that was able to channel their feelings so they could read others and I wanted to do that. So I practice every day after school so I could read other peoples emotions and even predict their near future. I would practice by listening to what wasn't being said and seeing into their minds by trying to feel what they were feeling. No one knew about my secret power and so I would practice on my little brother who is very easy to read and he would tell me what he was feeling. This was a secret identity that I was creating and I was much more proud of it then my pedicure. As my ideas and strains continue to grow I created a secret identity and a costume. Since I was still living my perfect life I didn't want to let other people know that I was living a false identity so my costume just looks like any other clothes that I own. It was a pink sparkly dress with the words x-ray girl written across the belt. One day I knew I needed to work on my costume but my friends on me go shopping with them. "I can't" I lied. " I have way too much homework" I said with as much dread as I could pretend to have. "Please Nikki, when have you ever said no to shopping?" Ask my "friend" Keisha. "I really can't I'm sorry" I said with sorrow. The sorrow wasn't for the lack of shopping though. I felt so terrible for saying no, I wanted to tell them that I change my mind. I can't say no to people it just tears me in two. What is the secret of life really what I wanted? I could never do this especially if I couldn't say no to my friends. A week later I went out on my first mission. I was scared that I would make a fool of myself, or were someone would know it was me. It was basketball game when I felt someone else's feelings and stepped into action. A girl named Jill sat in front of me I recognized her because she sat in front of me in algebra. She seemed okay but she was always really quiet so I stayed away from her. "Jill come on let's go to the party" said another girl who I did not recognize. I could feel Jill's feelings and I saw she really didn't want to go to the party. As I continue to read her feelings I saw that she was into the game and did not want to leave. I looked future I saw this party was going to be trouble I could not let Jill go. Our school is filled with cheers and the smell popcorn as I walked up to Jill and her "friends". As they rudely stared at me I said to Jill. "Hey do you want to hang out after we watch the game?" " Umm." She started to answer until she was cut off. "She's coming with me" Said the scary looking brunette. As I read the brunettes mind I realize she was up to no good. I found out her name is Christy and she didn't plan on going to a party she was intending to take Jill and rob a store and then blame it on her. I could not let this happen. So I decided to talk to Christy and she desperately want to Jill to come with her. I tried telling her that Jill was busy but she wouldn't listen. "Jill is coming with me. " I said with as much Authority as possible. Next thing I knew I was slammed up against the wall. I knew what I needed to do but I was so scared. I gritted my teeth and told Christy "Calm down and let me go!" "No she's coming with me" Christy exclaimed. I pushed her back with all the force I had and she let go. Relief rushed over me like an ocean beach is washed over in water. That was not what I was expecting. As I took another deep breath I realize my hands were shaking from fear and adrenaline. The good news was that that I saw that Jill knew the truth and that she was with a different group of people now. I woke up the next day realizing what I did last night, I stood up for what I believed in! No one understands how good it feels to be able to be yourself and stand up for what you believe in. No one knew it was me and I was still able to help Jill. Wait! My eyes shot wide open! I was supposed to be with my boyfriend and my friends at the game last night, instead I was X-Ray girl. Great. Now he is calling me, it's time to pretend like I actually want to live this way. "Hey John" I tried to put some enthusiasm in my voice. "Hey Nikki, where were you last night?" He asked. "I'm sorry I totally forgot. I had a headache and I just wanted to sleep." I lied. "Whatever, you are such a lier. I saw you there last night, I was just wondering if you wold tell me the truth. We are over." Then he just hung up. Tears poured down my face and I didn't stop crying for the next two hours. I needed to get over him, I didn't even like him, but it still hurt. I guess it was upset because he was part of my perfect image and it was falling apart because I tried to be myself, under a secret identity. It has been a week now since I have been dumped. I saved two other people from trouble at the mall this week. I am getting much better at my abilities now that I don't have to worry about having a boyfriend. I went out in my "X-Ray girl" clothes on a Saturday morning for a walk around my neighborhood when I heard my neighbor talking on a phone, he said "I know. We will have to do it soon if we are going to do it. They are gone the 20th though the 23rd, this month, so I will do it then." Wait, we are gone the 20th though the 23rd, we are going on a trip to Hollywood. Could they be doing something to my house or my family? I waited for the next few minutes until he hung up.
I couldn't read his mind until he was off the phone because electronic devices block my readings, this is one of my few weaknesses. Finally! He sat down his phone and I got a clear reading of his mind. My neighbor was planning on robbing home while we were away! How did he know we would be gone? As I continued to read his thoughts I saw a picture of binoculars, then a picture of my mom, but I was a view from the front window. He has been stalking my family! I thought we lived in a safe neighborhood! We live in a gated community where celebrities live! I was so disturbed that I would probably never be home alone again! My family doesn't know about my power so I could not tell them about my disturbing counter with our neighbor Mr. Johnson. Every day I kept all of my windows covered in doors closed so he would not see me. I had to find a way to save my family before we lose everything. I could not tell the police or anyone else because then I don't have to explain how I knew this and that would require explaining my power. I was not ready to reveal my power to everyone and the cops probably wouldn't believe me …show more content…
anyways. Maybe I could fake being sick and stay home to fight the robber. That wouldn't work though because he might be art and I do not want to get hurt. I also don't want my family to get hurt so I have to figure this out in soon. It was the 19th, The day before the robbery and as I was packing my bags I thought about what might happen.
I overpack for my three day trip but I packed all my replaceable and valuable items just in case this really did happen. I finally decided that you would be best to come clean with my parents and explain everything. It would take some convincing but I was confident that we could stop this creepy robber. It was time to leave for a trip so I told my parents that I needed to talk to them. "OK honey, what's up?" My mom asked. "Mom, dad there is something I have been keeping from you. Although I am popular, I don't want to be. I want to play sports and ghost and not go shopping but everyone has changed me. I have been molded into someone I'm not because I can't say no." "That's OK honey those are just your feelings. Is that that has been bothering you?" Asked my dad. "No I'm not done." I Said with a blank look on my face. "Okay then what is it?" My dad
questioned. "I was so upset with myself that I started to grow a power. I wanted to read others emotions and thoughts so I could help others so they don't end up like me. Every day after school I would practice my power nine able to reload thoughts and predict their near future. This is the way that I can show who I truly am on the inside. I know it sounds crazy, so I get it if you don't believe me but, I have urgent news to tell you. Our neighbor, Mr. Johnson is planning on robbing us this weekend. I know this sounds wrong but it's not,