Johnny Monologue

The last day I saw my son his friends were at the hospital. The nurse told me Johnny did not want to see me but I demanded but I forced myself in the room. I do not know why he did not want to see me because I did not do something wrong his dad also did nothing did nothing wrong. Why does he hate me and his dad he never sleeps here too I wonder why. Also why was he gone for a week I am so confused. I knew that me and his dad should be stricter and hit him one more time if he was never home by 9:00 and I more beatin for every minute that he is never home. We are so poor we can not even pay for a funeral for Johnny I told his dad stop drinking so much beer but that was when I was drunk also. How did he even die did he stab himself or not? His friends like Ponyboy if that even is that his real name made Johnny stab himself I will never forgive Johnny friends what they have done to Johnny.
I do not even know why Johnny gave into peer pressure.
The nurse said he got burned but how did he get burned did he burn himself with cigarettes but I checked his body there was no holes in his body. I knew that his friends were a bad influence on Johnny that is why we should of moved but we could not move because me and his dad drinked a lot of beer and liquor. Johnny friend Ponyboy gave me a weird look like I was the one who killed Johnny or I was the one who wanted to kill Johnny. I should not have wished Johnny to die because that fortune cookie was right someone in my family would die but I just brushed it off like it was nothing at
all. Me and Johnny’s dad we are going to have a new kid so we will have a new Johnny and will move out of the hood to the new york. I always hated Johnny because he never was home and he would of failed school so he would never make money for me and his dad. We were going to use Johnny for money so I am happy he is dead.