Like The Legacy

My parents have been marry for 42 years and the question that always pops in mind is How two individuals can be that longer together? The answer is not easy, but definitely there are a few things that I have always notice in their relationship first of all honesty, respect, communication and always be attentive to the other person needs. I personally think that a good marriage is not about perfection in contrast I think imperfection is the key, how a couple is capable of overcome the problems is the fundamental principal for an ideal marriage.
My parents meet when they were 13-year-old, and married when they were 18 my mother was pregnant a year later, and 7 years later my brother was born. They have been through difficult times, but they have
always made decisions that make them stronger one of those decisions was when they decided to adopt me. At that time my father was diagnosed with cancer in his prostate he was really depressed due to the fact that he was only 39 years old, and he couldn’t had more kids; the idea of having no more kids was killing him inside. My father was in the hospital for a few months, sad and heartbroken he try to take away his own life, just because he thought that my mom will leave him. My father never told my mom about his feelings, and that is why he made that decision thanks to God he fail, and since then their whole relationship change. They set new rules about open communication they promise to each other that in order to be wife and husband they had to be friends first and in order to do that they promise always tell the truth no matter how hard it was.
Years passed and my mom told my father that the best thing to do was to adopt a baby the decision of adopting was really hard, because my father was very skeptical and he did not wanted to have a child that was not his own. But, with a lot of communication and also thinking about each other needs my father took the decision to change my life. Now I know that he loves me with all his heart and even though we do not share the same blood he is really proud to call me daughter. A few months ago we were celebrating their 42nd anniversary and I thought how refreshing was to know that my parents made that decision for themselves, they loved each other so much that they did everything in order to be together . Honesty and communication was the key in this process, they were always open with their feelings and even thought my father had a lot of doubts and they fought many times they made a decision that will not only change my life but theirs and I will always be grateful for that. Their story is a source of inspiration for me.
That's why I'm sharing it with you. My parents have been blessed by good luck and hard work. Today statistics show that only 2% of people find their soul mate early in life and live happily ever after. And when I say happy forever, I mean really happy. Like the story “The Legacy” by Virginia Woolf the author explains how a women named Angela lives in an unhappy marriage, the ironic part of the story is that her husband Mr. Clanton does not have idea that his wife is feeling this way until he finds out that she took away her own life. A lot of relationships live this way, they are afraid of leaving for fear or because they have never had an open communication with each other. What would have happened if Angela had told the truth to Mr. Clanton? Maybe she will be alive trying to find her own happiness. Another problem that a lot of marry couples go through is that they feel prisoners in their own marriage. In the story “the story of an hour” by Kate Chopin the author explains how a woman named Mrs. Mallard feels relieve after knowing that her husband has died. The moment that she realizes that her husband will not be around her anymore she feels empowered and free Mrs. Mallard realizes that she is going to have total control of her life and will not depend anymore of her husband’s
decisions. Those stories are not away far away from reality many people feel this way and do nothing to fix it or to get out of it, that is why I needed real answers to all my questions: What makes a relationship work? What causes it to fail? What makes a relationship last forever? What do men want from women and what do they really need? What are the differences between a man's basic needs and the basic needs of a woman? Is there a fundamental reason why sometimes true love is not enough for a relationship to last forever? I asked my mom and dad to tell me their secret and they said that realistically, the ideal marriage doesn’t exist, but what it does exist is intelligent couples, who have developed the capacity to improve their relationship and communication skills. These couples know that it is necessary to listen to the ideas of the other one and dialogue without attacking the other and learn from their mistakes. These are the couples that when they get old are looked with envy and admiration for the love they have for each other and the strength of their relationship. I discovered that in order to attempt to have an ideal marriage Independence plays an important role, doing Activities separately from your partner Allows your spouse to have his own or her own personal space which gives both the time necessary to grown your own personality.
Second, Share and enrich each other. This helps reinforce what you already had, for example once a year my parents always pick a place and go away together no kids, no family, no worries. Spending time alone makes them have a more intimate relationships, they are also away of their intensives work schedule. It is important to always have exclusive time for both. Third, and for me one of the most important is Sense of humor laugh together. Look for the fun side of everything especially in difficult times and be able to handle them better. Behave as a unit in the face of external problems this is the key of a successful
marriage.
A relationship is never going to be perfect, what is going to let us know if our marriage will be successful is how we solved those problems and in order to do that we have to be capable of overcome difficulties. This is why my parent’s relationships have been so long because they had known how to be one when hard times knock on the door.