Lung Cancer Monologue
“Ah...” the doctor calmly replies avoiding eye contact with me and my father. The room then becomes silent for a second before the Doctor looks up at me and replies, “your results have come back...I’m sorry Jason; it seems you have lung cancer”.
“Currently there is nothing we can really do and I’ve discussed your case with specialist in the field and we have predicted that you may not have that long left”. Two words, two words are all it took to destroy my life, lung cancer .My body instantly became numb and my stomach felt as if it had exploded. I stared at the ground my eyes becoming out of focus like the lens on a camera. My hearing seemed to disappear as everything my father and the Doctor were discussing seemed to be blurred and distant. The Doctor put his hand …show more content…
on my shoulder and calmly said, “A month Jason, with chemo we can probably extend that to 4 or 5”.
“Nah,” I replied in a monotone voice, “I kind of like my hair and if I’m going to die I want to do it my way”.
As I got into the car I instantly turned on the radio to avoid conversation with my father as to why I denied chemo. “Seat belt”, he exclaimed put it on now.
Without an answer I put it on. My movements seeming as if I was a doll being controlled, as my mind wondered off into an abyss of darkness with the two words stuck in my mind “lung cancer”.
The car began to move as we started our journey back to home. I turned and started to look out the window, watching the scenery go by in a blur. “Jason”, my dad says in almost a whisper, “we’re going to get through this mate’. Instantly his eyes light up, “can’t be having you die before ya old man can we?”
“I guess not”, I reply with my best effort of a smile. I could tell he was trying to cheer me up and find the light in the situation.
I opened up the door to my house and start walking towards my room closing the door behind. All of a sudden my mask comes off. Anger is the first emotion revealed, “Why me!” I scream in my mind, “why me! This is bullshit! Why couldn't he of just said I have a lung infection or a bad cough and the cure is chicken soup instead of the cure being multiple instances of radiation”. I slowly drag myself into bed when the next emotion takes over self-pity, I feel as if time has frozen my breaths, my breathing becomes slower, my chest starts to feel as its being constricted and I my eyes start to inflame as tears start to form rivers down the sides of my face and I slowly come to terms with what is happening to me.
“Why me…”
My door slowly creaks as someone opens my door it's my mother. Red, sniffling and crying; she walks over to me and lies next to me.” My darling,” she softly says choking on every word “oh my boy, I didn't want this for you”. “This isn't fair,” abruptly she stops her sentence and starts to cry next to me with her hand on my head, as she can’t hold back the grief anymore. Soon after I hear running down the corridor as the floorboards make cracking sounds and I can feel the house shaking slightly.
“Hey!” My dad says with a grin on his face, “who said you two could cry?” My father is someone who is scary positive. He always seems to find the good in all the bad and prefers his cup half full than half empty.” Pack ya bag lady and gentlemen, we're off.”
Utterly confused I ask him,” What are you talking about?”
”An adventure Jason! I have one month left with my son and I would not like to waste one moment of it.”
Without question I got up and packed a bag of clothes and grabbed my phone and earphones.
I sat in the rear seat of the car while my mother was in the front passenger seat and my dad drove. Mum kept asking, “Where we were going?” but repeatedly she kept receiving the same reply “Oh you will see,” my father kept replying in a cheeky voice followed by laughter. The laughter became contagious, first to go was my mother who started to giggle and then I joined in.
At this moment I had forgotten about everything and felt normal again.
A normal road trip, with my normal family.
“Jason,” my father whispered in my ear softly, “It's time to wake up we are here.” Slowly as my senses turned back on after my sleep, I could hear water rushing and the sound of birds singing their songs as they darted between trees.” Where are we?” I asked in confusion “where have you taken us dad?” he took his seat belt off opened the door and frantically got out of the car and raced around to my door.
“We’re on the start of our journey we’re at Tahquamenon Falls!” I looked at him with a blank look. “We’re at a waterfall of all places?”
“Yes!” He said, while stepping back from the car. “Come, Jason just appreciate it.”
My mother and father and I walked on a narrow path that followed a small creek. The trees overhead of the pathway seemed to have intertwined with each other, forming a tunnel of green and yellow leaves with bright purple flowers which were scattered throughout the canopy.
After a ten minute walk we arrived to the waterfall. The roaring water instantly blocked out the noise of the birds and rustling leaves. I froze and gazed at the waterfall, it wasn't very tall but it was wide. The river spanned almost 20 meters wide and instantly dropped 10 meters to the river bed. All my worries disappeared as though they had been swept away in the current in front of me.
“Did you like it? “My dad asked me, seeking approval.
“I loved it “I replied, “where to next?”
Weeks had passed since the waterfall adventure and the start of the end, when I walked into the doctor's room. Since then I had travelled around the country town to town with my family sightseeing and blending in with the droves of tourists that had flocked in from all over the world.
“Where are you from?” they would always ask my dad, which in turn he would make up a story. Every time we were a family visiting the states, from Greece or turkey or once he even told them we were from a small tribe in Africa, in which he put on an accent for the whole day.
I knew my time was coming to an end though and I knew I was experiencing the last light of my candle, as it was slowly dying out.
I woke up confused and scared, my head was light and my body was barely responding.
I could feel something down my throat. Beep, as the heart monitor started going off next to me, “You're awake!” yelled my mother, while holding back her tears once again. I turned to see my mother firmly grasping my hand and my dad in the corner of the room looking at me.
‘Where am I?” I tried to ask, but all that was heard was gurgling as there was a tube down my throat that was allowing me to breathe.
“You collapsed in front of us, and the doctors say your cancer has become termi….” before Mum could finish her sentence my doctor and two nurses walked in. “Hey buddy,” the doctor said in a mumble, he then placed a piece of paper with a pen on my bed.
“You don’t have to talk, but we need to know what you want to do from here,” he exclaimed “We don’t know how much longer you have from here, you're on borrowed time right now and we can care for you until the time comes or..” He pauses and looks at my mum who then nods back, “we can offer you euthanasia.”
“It’s really happening,” I thought in my head “I’m really about to die! This is real, it isn’t some strange dragged on dream, it’s really happening. I’m about to
die.”
“Currently there is nothing we can really do and I’ve discussed your case with specialist in the field and we have predicted that you may not have that long left”. Two words, two words are all it took to destroy my life, lung cancer .My body instantly became numb and my stomach felt as if it had exploded. I stared at the ground my eyes becoming out of focus like the lens on a camera. My hearing seemed to disappear as everything my father and the Doctor were discussing seemed to be blurred and distant. The Doctor put his hand …show more content…
on my shoulder and calmly said, “A month Jason, with chemo we can probably extend that to 4 or 5”.
“Nah,” I replied in a monotone voice, “I kind of like my hair and if I’m going to die I want to do it my way”.
As I got into the car I instantly turned on the radio to avoid conversation with my father as to why I denied chemo. “Seat belt”, he exclaimed put it on now.
Without an answer I put it on. My movements seeming as if I was a doll being controlled, as my mind wondered off into an abyss of darkness with the two words stuck in my mind “lung cancer”.
The car began to move as we started our journey back to home. I turned and started to look out the window, watching the scenery go by in a blur. “Jason”, my dad says in almost a whisper, “we’re going to get through this mate’. Instantly his eyes light up, “can’t be having you die before ya old man can we?”
“I guess not”, I reply with my best effort of a smile. I could tell he was trying to cheer me up and find the light in the situation.
I opened up the door to my house and start walking towards my room closing the door behind. All of a sudden my mask comes off. Anger is the first emotion revealed, “Why me!” I scream in my mind, “why me! This is bullshit! Why couldn't he of just said I have a lung infection or a bad cough and the cure is chicken soup instead of the cure being multiple instances of radiation”. I slowly drag myself into bed when the next emotion takes over self-pity, I feel as if time has frozen my breaths, my breathing becomes slower, my chest starts to feel as its being constricted and I my eyes start to inflame as tears start to form rivers down the sides of my face and I slowly come to terms with what is happening to me.
“Why me…”
My door slowly creaks as someone opens my door it's my mother. Red, sniffling and crying; she walks over to me and lies next to me.” My darling,” she softly says choking on every word “oh my boy, I didn't want this for you”. “This isn't fair,” abruptly she stops her sentence and starts to cry next to me with her hand on my head, as she can’t hold back the grief anymore. Soon after I hear running down the corridor as the floorboards make cracking sounds and I can feel the house shaking slightly.
“Hey!” My dad says with a grin on his face, “who said you two could cry?” My father is someone who is scary positive. He always seems to find the good in all the bad and prefers his cup half full than half empty.” Pack ya bag lady and gentlemen, we're off.”
Utterly confused I ask him,” What are you talking about?”
”An adventure Jason! I have one month left with my son and I would not like to waste one moment of it.”
Without question I got up and packed a bag of clothes and grabbed my phone and earphones.
I sat in the rear seat of the car while my mother was in the front passenger seat and my dad drove. Mum kept asking, “Where we were going?” but repeatedly she kept receiving the same reply “Oh you will see,” my father kept replying in a cheeky voice followed by laughter. The laughter became contagious, first to go was my mother who started to giggle and then I joined in.
At this moment I had forgotten about everything and felt normal again.
A normal road trip, with my normal family.
“Jason,” my father whispered in my ear softly, “It's time to wake up we are here.” Slowly as my senses turned back on after my sleep, I could hear water rushing and the sound of birds singing their songs as they darted between trees.” Where are we?” I asked in confusion “where have you taken us dad?” he took his seat belt off opened the door and frantically got out of the car and raced around to my door.
“We’re on the start of our journey we’re at Tahquamenon Falls!” I looked at him with a blank look. “We’re at a waterfall of all places?”
“Yes!” He said, while stepping back from the car. “Come, Jason just appreciate it.”
My mother and father and I walked on a narrow path that followed a small creek. The trees overhead of the pathway seemed to have intertwined with each other, forming a tunnel of green and yellow leaves with bright purple flowers which were scattered throughout the canopy.
After a ten minute walk we arrived to the waterfall. The roaring water instantly blocked out the noise of the birds and rustling leaves. I froze and gazed at the waterfall, it wasn't very tall but it was wide. The river spanned almost 20 meters wide and instantly dropped 10 meters to the river bed. All my worries disappeared as though they had been swept away in the current in front of me.
“Did you like it? “My dad asked me, seeking approval.
“I loved it “I replied, “where to next?”
Weeks had passed since the waterfall adventure and the start of the end, when I walked into the doctor's room. Since then I had travelled around the country town to town with my family sightseeing and blending in with the droves of tourists that had flocked in from all over the world.
“Where are you from?” they would always ask my dad, which in turn he would make up a story. Every time we were a family visiting the states, from Greece or turkey or once he even told them we were from a small tribe in Africa, in which he put on an accent for the whole day.
I knew my time was coming to an end though and I knew I was experiencing the last light of my candle, as it was slowly dying out.
I woke up confused and scared, my head was light and my body was barely responding.
I could feel something down my throat. Beep, as the heart monitor started going off next to me, “You're awake!” yelled my mother, while holding back her tears once again. I turned to see my mother firmly grasping my hand and my dad in the corner of the room looking at me.
‘Where am I?” I tried to ask, but all that was heard was gurgling as there was a tube down my throat that was allowing me to breathe.
“You collapsed in front of us, and the doctors say your cancer has become termi….” before Mum could finish her sentence my doctor and two nurses walked in. “Hey buddy,” the doctor said in a mumble, he then placed a piece of paper with a pen on my bed.
“You don’t have to talk, but we need to know what you want to do from here,” he exclaimed “We don’t know how much longer you have from here, you're on borrowed time right now and we can care for you until the time comes or..” He pauses and looks at my mum who then nods back, “we can offer you euthanasia.”
“It’s really happening,” I thought in my head “I’m really about to die! This is real, it isn’t some strange dragged on dream, it’s really happening. I’m about to
die.”