This paper compares and contrasts what the secular world presents about how we select our mates and how the Lord directs us to select our mates. The secular world has looked at this process using Sociology and Psychology to answer the question why do we choose our partners. This paper will discuss how culture, self preservation, and ultimately the Lord will affect the selection of one’s mate.
Culture
In the third edition of Sociology by Linda Lindsey and Stephen Beach, it is said that we chose our mates through the impact of homogamy (Lindsey & Beach, 2004, p. 403). We couple ourselves with people who are culturally similar to one another. We chose our mate through having similar age, race and social class. This proves the point that we our mate is someone who complements the environment that we have became accustomed to. Of all the different demographic variables, homogamy is strongest for race. Interracial marriages have been a growing trend in the U.S., but are still relatively rare, accounting for about 3 percent of all marriages.
Self Preservation
David G. Myer’s ninth edition of Psychology discusses the belief that we couple ourselves with someone due to a response to natural selection. Evolutionary biologists have explained that pairing of mates occurs as a reaction to our natural yearning to reproduce themselves (Myers, 2010, p. 147). One chooses their mate by an inherited checklist for the most appropriate mate. Males and Females are drawn to a superior counterpart who contains the right traits to maintain and strengthen their chance of future offspring.
The Lord’s Choice
The Bible teaches us that our mate selection is, in fact, an act of God. A husband and wife joined together in marriage are people whom “God has joined together” (Ryrie, 1995, p. 1548). It is through the Holy Spirit that God’s will sends us our everlasting mate. The Lord does us a specific type of homogamy. He requires one to seek a mate who is a
References: Lindsey, L. L., & Stephen, B. (2004). Sociology (3rd Edition ed.). Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education. Myers, D. G. (2010). Psychology (9th Edition ed.). New York: Worth Publishers. Ryrie, C. C. (1995). The Ryrie Study Bible: New American Standard Ed. La Habra: The Moody Bible Institue of Chicago.