mendus unconditional love

“I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you.” That is a line from a traditional wedding vow that two people who love each other say on their wedding day. Susan Mendus believes that a marriage vow is “a present intention to do something permanently, where that is distinct from having a permanent intention.” (Mendus, p. 238) Mendus believes that marriage vows are unconditional, she doesn’t think that marriage is unconditional however. She doesn’t think marriage is unconditional because it can end in divorce. People say they fall out of love, cheat, or think their significant other changed. Mendus says that if you think that a person has changed and that makes you “fall out of love” then you never truly loved them. She also thinks that once you make the commitment in marriage vows, you should remain married even if you feel like you fell out of love. One reason that Mendus believes marriage vows are unconditional is because there is no time limit on it. When you get married you do not decide that after so many years you are going to get divorced, instead you plan to be happily in love for the rest of your lives. Throughout our lives we change and mature and because of the vow you made to be together forever, there will be change. If your significant other changes you should remain married because you love each other. Another reason Mendus believes marriage vows are unconditional is because you do not make “terms and conditions”. When you marry someone and promise to love and honor you do not say “so long as you don’t..” (Mendus, p. 238) When you love someone you love them for who they are, you wouldn’t tell them “I will love you if you..” If there were conditions then we would not be able to distinguish the difference between “respect or admiration for the principles of another and the sort of unconditional commitment to him which the marriage vow involves.”