Monologue Of Woman
My name is Xing the third. I was named after my great grandmother. I live in the Tuvas village. It was an average day in the village. The temperature had dropped even more from the previous days of the week. The population here continues to rise. There are at least a million people in my country. I woke up, and put on my fur coat to head to outside to feed the animals. The neighbors were whispering things to each other. I think they were talking about me because women don’t get appreciated much, and it’s even worse if you’re young like me. People think that women don’t really have a purpose. All we do is cook, and clean the house. Teenagers like me just sit in their rooms thinking,” Where is my next meal coming from?” Most of society views the women and female kids like me as just another mouth to feed, and another back to clothe. I don’t have that many friends because my parents are really strict. My life mainly revolves around worshiping Buddha and trying to please my parents. I feel like no matter how hard I try it’s never good enough.
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My parents have been talking about finding someone for me to marry.
Even though mom has her opinion, daddy has the final say so. Sadly, I have no influence on who I marry. My dad would have to provide my soon to be husband with a dowry. Most of the girls in the village that are my age are married, and they have at least one child. I hope I don’t get married to someone on a boat because I would have to learn a lot of survival skills that I’ve not been taught because we don’t have that type of education here. I also hope I don’t marry a farmer because I will have to help him in the fields. I’m not ready to get married yet because I’d have to take care of my husband, and sons, and other men in my life. I’m very thankful I’m not the youngest daughter in my family. It is custom here to sell the youngest daughter because dowries get
expensive.
I went to sleep that night and dreamed that we all of the things that we needed, and we got to have things that we wished for. The next morning I woke up to the harsh reality that my family still struggles to keep meals on the table. We didn’t have food for breakfast. At eight o’clock, I went to school. I was the daughter of a noble thankfully. Other women didn’t really get an education. At school I learned how to take care of my future children, cooking, cleaning, weaving, and sewing. Most women in my village were prostitutes. A few of my neighbors that are talented young ladies became courtesan.
When I returned home school, dinner was cooked. We were having the same thing as the night before. I am about sick of eating rice, and wheat. I wish mom would cook some vegetables. It is partly daddy’s fault that we don’t eat vegetables though because he doesn’t grow them, therefore mom can’t cook them. All we ever drink is tea. Dad grows a ton of tea in the fields. I’ve only had vegetables once in the fifteen years I’ve been alive. On special occasions, mom uses the meat from the animals that dad kills, and she puts it in the rice. Sometimes she uses the rice and wheat to make noodles. For dessert, mom bakes bread. Women and men in the village mainly had the same wardrobe. We both wear silk robes. The parts of the robe that you wear are different for the men and women in my village. It also depends on which dynasty you’re in. My robe has a skirt, a shirt with an open cross collar garment, an open cross collar shirt, and an open cross collar jacket that I wear over the cross collar shirt. Women in the classes above me could wear robes as elaborate as society allows. The women in my village that work wear loose trousers and an open collar jackets. They don’t wear much makeup. I love wearing makeup. It makes me feel pretty. Most women in my village focus on their eyebrows. I always make sure mine are perfect. I use at least a stick of red lipstick a day. After I put on my makeup, I paint a flower on my forehead. The thing I hate most about being a female in this country is the feet binding. They aren’t bad enough yet to prevent me from walking, but it is very painful. The doctor that visits the houses of the village each week said that my condition can only get worse. Due to my foot binding, I can’t bathe myself, move from one place to another, or pretty much anything that requires using my feet. My mom has to change the bandages on my feet every three hours because my feet bleed from the rubber bands. In my free time, I usually play chess. I also fly my kite every day. Sometimes I get with other girls in the village and ride horses. While riding horses, we occasionally play polo. My favorite game to play is mah- jog. Mah-jog is modern day version of cards. They are tiles with pictures and symbols on them. A lot of people in the village play Parcheesi. I have never played Liu Po. I have heard it is fun though. You move six pieces around on the board. It is one of the more complex games here. The other ones are very simplistic. My favorite thing to do besides play games is write poems. I write at least a dozen each day. The subjects vary from fantasies of my future husband, ideal dates, the life I wish I had, and my emotions. I love to write so I often spend an hour or so practicing calligraphy. Wealthy people often spend their down time listening to music. They also go to theatres and magician shows. My second favorite thing to do is dance. Not only does dancing make me flexible, but it also gives me experience for the future. I want to be a dancer when I am old enough to work. If I can’t be a dancer, I want to be a stay at home mother to my children. A few days after school, I came home and studied for an assessment in my sewing class the next day. My mom had gone out to the fields to tend to the crops since my dad went to go work in another village for the night and the following day. The day that my dad came home, him and mom went out to a friend’s village. My parents weren’t expecting to come home to their oldest daughter being dead. I lost too much blood from the sores the rubber bands had caused. There was no one there to change my bandages while my parents were gone. The bandages helped lessen the amount of blood that I lost because they applied pressure to the wounds. I left behind two younger sisters, my parents, and a village of friends.
My parents have been talking about finding someone for me to marry.
Even though mom has her opinion, daddy has the final say so. Sadly, I have no influence on who I marry. My dad would have to provide my soon to be husband with a dowry. Most of the girls in the village that are my age are married, and they have at least one child. I hope I don’t get married to someone on a boat because I would have to learn a lot of survival skills that I’ve not been taught because we don’t have that type of education here. I also hope I don’t marry a farmer because I will have to help him in the fields. I’m not ready to get married yet because I’d have to take care of my husband, and sons, and other men in my life. I’m very thankful I’m not the youngest daughter in my family. It is custom here to sell the youngest daughter because dowries get
expensive.
I went to sleep that night and dreamed that we all of the things that we needed, and we got to have things that we wished for. The next morning I woke up to the harsh reality that my family still struggles to keep meals on the table. We didn’t have food for breakfast. At eight o’clock, I went to school. I was the daughter of a noble thankfully. Other women didn’t really get an education. At school I learned how to take care of my future children, cooking, cleaning, weaving, and sewing. Most women in my village were prostitutes. A few of my neighbors that are talented young ladies became courtesan.
When I returned home school, dinner was cooked. We were having the same thing as the night before. I am about sick of eating rice, and wheat. I wish mom would cook some vegetables. It is partly daddy’s fault that we don’t eat vegetables though because he doesn’t grow them, therefore mom can’t cook them. All we ever drink is tea. Dad grows a ton of tea in the fields. I’ve only had vegetables once in the fifteen years I’ve been alive. On special occasions, mom uses the meat from the animals that dad kills, and she puts it in the rice. Sometimes she uses the rice and wheat to make noodles. For dessert, mom bakes bread. Women and men in the village mainly had the same wardrobe. We both wear silk robes. The parts of the robe that you wear are different for the men and women in my village. It also depends on which dynasty you’re in. My robe has a skirt, a shirt with an open cross collar garment, an open cross collar shirt, and an open cross collar jacket that I wear over the cross collar shirt. Women in the classes above me could wear robes as elaborate as society allows. The women in my village that work wear loose trousers and an open collar jackets. They don’t wear much makeup. I love wearing makeup. It makes me feel pretty. Most women in my village focus on their eyebrows. I always make sure mine are perfect. I use at least a stick of red lipstick a day. After I put on my makeup, I paint a flower on my forehead. The thing I hate most about being a female in this country is the feet binding. They aren’t bad enough yet to prevent me from walking, but it is very painful. The doctor that visits the houses of the village each week said that my condition can only get worse. Due to my foot binding, I can’t bathe myself, move from one place to another, or pretty much anything that requires using my feet. My mom has to change the bandages on my feet every three hours because my feet bleed from the rubber bands. In my free time, I usually play chess. I also fly my kite every day. Sometimes I get with other girls in the village and ride horses. While riding horses, we occasionally play polo. My favorite game to play is mah- jog. Mah-jog is modern day version of cards. They are tiles with pictures and symbols on them. A lot of people in the village play Parcheesi. I have never played Liu Po. I have heard it is fun though. You move six pieces around on the board. It is one of the more complex games here. The other ones are very simplistic. My favorite thing to do besides play games is write poems. I write at least a dozen each day. The subjects vary from fantasies of my future husband, ideal dates, the life I wish I had, and my emotions. I love to write so I often spend an hour or so practicing calligraphy. Wealthy people often spend their down time listening to music. They also go to theatres and magician shows. My second favorite thing to do is dance. Not only does dancing make me flexible, but it also gives me experience for the future. I want to be a dancer when I am old enough to work. If I can’t be a dancer, I want to be a stay at home mother to my children. A few days after school, I came home and studied for an assessment in my sewing class the next day. My mom had gone out to the fields to tend to the crops since my dad went to go work in another village for the night and the following day. The day that my dad came home, him and mom went out to a friend’s village. My parents weren’t expecting to come home to their oldest daughter being dead. I lost too much blood from the sores the rubber bands had caused. There was no one there to change my bandages while my parents were gone. The bandages helped lessen the amount of blood that I lost because they applied pressure to the wounds. I left behind two younger sisters, my parents, and a village of friends.