Nirvana Monologue
LUCIAN’S POV
Song for this part: Nirvana - Something in the way.
“Hell, this is a good song” Elliot moves along with the music. I’m playing with Ray’s guitar while he’s drinking his coffee.
“This place is the weirdest place that you ever found” I scoff at Ray.
I don’t know what we’re doing in this coffee bookshop, I like that they have Nirvana and Incubus in the background.
“My brother said that they have the best coffee and music and he was right” Ray says and lies on the ground.
“Oh it’s Something in the way” Elliot jumps, Ray and I exchange looks.
“What the fuck? When I met you liked Michael Bubble and now you like Nirvana and wear black skinny jeans”
“I’m cool now” Elliot smiles and winks to a girl that passes by but she ignores him. …show more content…
“Guess that she didn’t fell for my french charm” he shrugs and sits next to me. “Maybe I was a negative number square root”
“What?” I ask confused.
“An imaginary number” he laughs.
“Nerdy El is back” Ray remarks from the floor.
My heart stops as I see Noelle enter to the coffee shop. She’s alone and she brought her laptop. Shit.
Before I can stop Ray, I see him calling Noelle’s name. I’m in trouble.
“Hey Noelle! Come and sit with us” I kick him from my wheelchair this idiot.
I see her and I feel everything at the same time, she walks towards us. “Hi guys” she says sheepishly.
“I’m going to the couches”
“Why?” Elliot asks and smiles at me. It’s not even funny not for me or Noelle. I know that she’s trying to repress the feeling from inside and so am I. The last time that she was near me was when she fell asleep in my arms.
“They have free Wi-Fi there” she smiles, she looks like goodness. Fuck I want her. I don’t know if I want to smile or yell.
“But you can still sit here?” Elliot insists. I bite my bottom lip and look away.
“Are you going to watch porn?” Ray laughs, Elliot gets joke after a few seconds and laughs along. I want to slap both in the face.
. “No, of course not, I’m going to chat with a friend from London”
Fuck.
“Fuck” I hear myself say, they look at me.
“Are you jelly?” Elliot teases me.
“No why would I?” I scoff and for a moment I forgot that she was here.
“Hi Lucian” Noelle says as her smile fades away.
“H-hi”
“I have to go” she says and leaves.
“You guys suck!” I say when Noelle is gone. “Come on Lucian, we were helping you”
“That was not helping” I whisper, she sits a few meters away from us. I can see her.
I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She smiles to the waiter as he hands her a cup of tea. Noelle takes out her wallet. She looks up and shakes her head.
She didn’t bring money, the waiter waits. She’s embarrassed. “Elliot, help me to move” I shake Elliot’s arm.
My whole body is shaking, I can’t even speak properly. “I will pay for her” I tell the waiter. “Next time you bring money” he comments.
“Next time you learn to shut you stupid mouth” I snap at him.
“Lucian, don’t_”
“I will” I tell her. I give the stupid waiter my credit card.
“I can go home and_”
“Noelle for fucks sake I pay”
I need to cool down.
“Yes, let your boyfriend pay” the waiter comments. “He’s not my boyfriend”
Ouch.
“En-enjoy your tea” I tell her.
Song for this part: With every heartbeat - Robyn “Lucian” she says before I can go back to the boys.
“Why are you treating me like nothing has happened?” she asks me.
“Nothing ever happened” I tell her even though I know the truth.
“Nothing? How can you say that?”
“Noelle” I try to sooth her down.
“I don’t want to act like nothing ever happened because I know that we had something and whatever it was it’s over now, no it was over the day you left” she pauses and puts her laptop down.
“Go ahead and break up with me, a proper break up”
I look around I’ve never seen Noelle this mad. I don’t want to break up with her. “You’re a coward, well you know what I break up with y-you” she says, her cheeks are red, she’s burning.
“I don’t want to” I tell her.
I see that the guys have left. Fuck! How the hell am I going to home? Ray’s brother was supposed to give me a ride.
“What?”
“I do-don’t” she hates me now. She has the right to break up with me yet I don’t want to break up with her. “I’m not ready to break up”
“Well what a beautiful relationship we have!” she laughs sarcastically. “You have to let me explain why I left”
“You never told me that you were going to leave, I hate it, you just left the same way every person does” she waves with her
arms
“You know what Lucian? This makes me realize that I can’t cut myself with the same paper all the time, you’re no good for me, I even kissed a girl when you left because I was so confused”
My heart stops. “What?”
“I made so many mistakes and I have never been so lost and it was all because of you”
“Listen I really meant all those things that I said.
“Which one? Noelle I am so unhappy with you? Or wait I want to die?”
I feel the tears, they are about to come. I can’t lose her. The therapist said that I should tell her everything that I feel. “No, the part where I care about you, that I could take you to a date and watch the stars with you, not plastic stars like the ones in your room but actual ones. Also I love you in my own especial days even in my worse days, I meant everything that I said Noelle. I wish that I met you in a different circumstance in my life.”
“Oh my God!” Noelle’s eyes are bigger, the tears are coming powerfully. I feel my tears betraying me.
I know that I made the biggest mistake. “You’re Tess?” she points at me. Should I stop? Is this the part where I save my girl? Speak out your mind.
“I want to be the person that you discover new places with, I want to watch the sunset with you, fuck Noelle, I want you. You make me feel like I’m no longer a castaway”
Song for this part: Nirvana - Something in the way.
“Hell, this is a good song” Elliot moves along with the music. I’m playing with Ray’s guitar while he’s drinking his coffee.
“This place is the weirdest place that you ever found” I scoff at Ray.
I don’t know what we’re doing in this coffee bookshop, I like that they have Nirvana and Incubus in the background.
“My brother said that they have the best coffee and music and he was right” Ray says and lies on the ground.
“Oh it’s Something in the way” Elliot jumps, Ray and I exchange looks.
“What the fuck? When I met you liked Michael Bubble and now you like Nirvana and wear black skinny jeans”
“I’m cool now” Elliot smiles and winks to a girl that passes by but she ignores him. …show more content…
“Guess that she didn’t fell for my french charm” he shrugs and sits next to me. “Maybe I was a negative number square root”
“What?” I ask confused.
“An imaginary number” he laughs.
“Nerdy El is back” Ray remarks from the floor.
My heart stops as I see Noelle enter to the coffee shop. She’s alone and she brought her laptop. Shit.
Before I can stop Ray, I see him calling Noelle’s name. I’m in trouble.
“Hey Noelle! Come and sit with us” I kick him from my wheelchair this idiot.
I see her and I feel everything at the same time, she walks towards us. “Hi guys” she says sheepishly.
“I’m going to the couches”
“Why?” Elliot asks and smiles at me. It’s not even funny not for me or Noelle. I know that she’s trying to repress the feeling from inside and so am I. The last time that she was near me was when she fell asleep in my arms.
“They have free Wi-Fi there” she smiles, she looks like goodness. Fuck I want her. I don’t know if I want to smile or yell.
“But you can still sit here?” Elliot insists. I bite my bottom lip and look away.
“Are you going to watch porn?” Ray laughs, Elliot gets joke after a few seconds and laughs along. I want to slap both in the face.
. “No, of course not, I’m going to chat with a friend from London”
Fuck.
“Fuck” I hear myself say, they look at me.
“Are you jelly?” Elliot teases me.
“No why would I?” I scoff and for a moment I forgot that she was here.
“Hi Lucian” Noelle says as her smile fades away.
“H-hi”
“I have to go” she says and leaves.
“You guys suck!” I say when Noelle is gone. “Come on Lucian, we were helping you”
“That was not helping” I whisper, she sits a few meters away from us. I can see her.
I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She smiles to the waiter as he hands her a cup of tea. Noelle takes out her wallet. She looks up and shakes her head.
She didn’t bring money, the waiter waits. She’s embarrassed. “Elliot, help me to move” I shake Elliot’s arm.
My whole body is shaking, I can’t even speak properly. “I will pay for her” I tell the waiter. “Next time you bring money” he comments.
“Next time you learn to shut you stupid mouth” I snap at him.
“Lucian, don’t_”
“I will” I tell her. I give the stupid waiter my credit card.
“I can go home and_”
“Noelle for fucks sake I pay”
I need to cool down.
“Yes, let your boyfriend pay” the waiter comments. “He’s not my boyfriend”
Ouch.
“En-enjoy your tea” I tell her.
Song for this part: With every heartbeat - Robyn “Lucian” she says before I can go back to the boys.
“Why are you treating me like nothing has happened?” she asks me.
“Nothing ever happened” I tell her even though I know the truth.
“Nothing? How can you say that?”
“Noelle” I try to sooth her down.
“I don’t want to act like nothing ever happened because I know that we had something and whatever it was it’s over now, no it was over the day you left” she pauses and puts her laptop down.
“Go ahead and break up with me, a proper break up”
I look around I’ve never seen Noelle this mad. I don’t want to break up with her. “You’re a coward, well you know what I break up with y-you” she says, her cheeks are red, she’s burning.
“I don’t want to” I tell her.
I see that the guys have left. Fuck! How the hell am I going to home? Ray’s brother was supposed to give me a ride.
“What?”
“I do-don’t” she hates me now. She has the right to break up with me yet I don’t want to break up with her. “I’m not ready to break up”
“Well what a beautiful relationship we have!” she laughs sarcastically. “You have to let me explain why I left”
“You never told me that you were going to leave, I hate it, you just left the same way every person does” she waves with her
arms
“You know what Lucian? This makes me realize that I can’t cut myself with the same paper all the time, you’re no good for me, I even kissed a girl when you left because I was so confused”
My heart stops. “What?”
“I made so many mistakes and I have never been so lost and it was all because of you”
“Listen I really meant all those things that I said.
“Which one? Noelle I am so unhappy with you? Or wait I want to die?”
I feel the tears, they are about to come. I can’t lose her. The therapist said that I should tell her everything that I feel. “No, the part where I care about you, that I could take you to a date and watch the stars with you, not plastic stars like the ones in your room but actual ones. Also I love you in my own especial days even in my worse days, I meant everything that I said Noelle. I wish that I met you in a different circumstance in my life.”
“Oh my God!” Noelle’s eyes are bigger, the tears are coming powerfully. I feel my tears betraying me.
I know that I made the biggest mistake. “You’re Tess?” she points at me. Should I stop? Is this the part where I save my girl? Speak out your mind.
“I want to be the person that you discover new places with, I want to watch the sunset with you, fuck Noelle, I want you. You make me feel like I’m no longer a castaway”