Nonverbal Communication Between Gilbert And Arnie

Gilbert assumes the role of protector of Arnie, and makes it very clear the no one will hurt Arnie. He emphasizes this to Arnie during a conversation had between the two of them. This is opposition to the fight that Gilbert had in the bathroom with Arnie. Gilbert had a breakdown, and took his anger and frustration out on Arnie by physically striking him. Gilbert flees the home, and Arnie seeks comfort with Becky. At this time, Gilbert is no longer Arnie’s protector but someone he should fear. This is an inconsistency between the verbal messages that were relayed between the two brothers. His nonverbal communication indicates that he does have the potential to hurt Arnie, and he cannot keep the promise he made.
Systems
The Grape family is
considered a family system. When defining a family system, this includes all household members and persons that have significant relationships (Brandell, 2011, p. 157). The Grape family system consists of Bonnie, Gilbert, Arnie, Amy, and Ellen. The family system is not concrete and can change at any time with disruptive events or persons exiting the system. The Grape’s family system was affected when the father committed suicide and when Larry left the home. In a system there are boundaries, which can either be open or closed.
The boundary is what makes each system unique and gives it definition (Brandell, 2011, p. 8). In the Grape family Bonnie represents a closed boundary. She is isolated from society with the exception of her family. She is not seen by anyone and does not interact with anyone outside of the boundary of the family until she is forced to stand up for Arnie. Bonnie isolates herself as a coping mechanism for her grief and depression. Another example of a boundary is the communication regarding Bonnie’s weight. This is a closed boundary as well. The children do not discuss their mother’s weight with her and go to great lengths to ensure that she is not aware of how much they truly understand her condition. The house the Grape’s in represent a closed boundary as well. During the movie, no one enters the house unless they are family or are represented in a subsystem such as Gilbert’s friends. He allows his friend to enter the home to make repairs. For example, when Arnie’s has his birthday party all of the guests are outside. This house is closed off to the others that are in the environment. The family has to invite an outsider into the home, so they can penetrate the
boundary. There are also subsystems within the Grape family. Arnie and Gilbert represent one subsystem, this is perpetuated by the care the he provides for Arnie and is protectiveness of him. Amy and Ellen represent another subsystem; together they are responsible for the nutrition of the family. Bonnie has a great connection with Arnie, although she does not provide care for him. She refers to him as her sunshine and you can tell that she truly loves him. Bonnie and Gilbert, have a complex relationship. Gilbert harbors resentment towards his mother, but at the same time loves her and wants to make sure she is taken care of. Bonnie is aware of Gilbert’s feelings and feels guilty for burdening the family. Gilbert and Ellen, represent the source for a lot of tension within the family. She is vocal towards Gilbert when she feels he has messed something up. Gilbert and Becky represent another subsystem. She is responsible for being able to penetrate Gilbert’s emotional wall of defense. He feels something towards he and is willing to share a part of his family that was closed off to the rest of the world. For example, he introduces her to his mother at Arnie’s birthday party, and he has never done that before with any girl.