Nonverbal Listening Patterns

------------------------------------------------- A few weeks ago, I was at the Ultimate Billiards. I decided this would be a great place to practice my exercise of non-verbal listening patterns. I noticed my friend Vanessa, whom I’ve known for ten years. We talked for an hour about family and friends. Later that evening, I met Sue, whom I’ve known for three months. Our conversation, thirty minutes in length, consisted of critiquing the other players, discussion of rule fairness, and tournament requirements. In describing specific examples of my nonverbal listening behaviors with Vanessa, I observed I was standing upright and feeling comfortable. My eye contact was direct as I was interested in the conversation. I found myself smiling. I behaved in these ways because pool is my hobby of choice and it was easy for me to enjoy the conversation. In reviewing my non-verbal listening, my behavior was appropriate given what I learned. Specifically, my non-verbal was consistent with gestures shown in a conversation when there is a genuine interest, agreement, and likability. In my non-verbal listening exercise with Sue, I found I was struggling. I was limited in full range of conversation, due to rule constraints. Specifically, she was not supposed to be talking to me. I found myself trying to be polite; however, I limited my gestures, as not to distract the players. My body posture was stiff, although I did smile politely to let Sue know I acknowledged and heard her. I found that my behavior was inappropriate for that conversation, but I was concerned about the rules. Given what I have learned, I was not practicing a full range of listening skills that would give the signal I was fully interested During my conversations with Vanessa and Sue, I discovered three non-verbal listening behaviors and/or skills. I noticed that I use gestures, as I listen. For instance, I lean forward, I nod my head