I, Odysseus, fought with Greek heroes at Troy, and struggle to find my way back to my kingdom in Ithaca. I started my journey to Ithaca from Troy but my ship was carried away by a storm. My crew, ship and I ended up in the country of Lotophages. The Lotophages people ate the lotus plant, which made you forget everything. I then got my crew back on the ship and we sailed off to Ithaca from there. We then ended up on the island where Cyclops Polyphemus lived; he shoved my men and me inside of a cave and ate some of them. I told him my name was “No one” and when he fell asleep I stabbed his only eye out of his head. It was great. Then he screamed and woke up the other Cyclops and he yelled, “No one has blinded me”! That was the funniest moments of my life because the other Cyclops fell back asleep. I laughed so hard when Polyphemus looked like he lost his mind.
I then returned to the ship with the remaining of my crew and we sailed for a while before we were brought to the island of the winds, where Aeolus, the god of the winds lived. We visited him for a while and when we were leaving, he gave me a bag of all winds except the western wind. He told me not to open it until I made my way back home. After that trip, we continued to sail our way to Ithaca for ten days and ten nights with no stops. I stayed awake each and every second of those ten days because I didn’t want them to open the bag of winds from Aeolus. When I saw Ithaca ahead of us, I slept like a baby. That didn’t stop my stupid crew from opening the bag and unleashing all of the winds, which took us further away from Ithaca than the distance we started with. We went back to my friend Aeolus’ island but he chased us off of the island because the gods now hated me and most of all Poseidon hated me because I took his sons eye out of his head.
We then sailed for six days and nights and reached the shore of a country where people began to throw rocks at my ships and all of the ships sunk except the one I was on. I continued to sail and landed on the island of Aiae, where I met Circe, the daughter of Helios. The island was full of wild, friendly animals that were transformed humans. Circe then took my men and gave them a potion that turned them into pigs. Really? Out of all animals, a pig is what she turned them in to? Anyway, Hermes then showed up and gave me an antidote to Circe’s spell. She was shocked to see me not turned into a pig and then I threatened her life until he turned my men back into humans. Then she offered me her love. Ugh, as if. But I did live at her palace for a year until I was ready to leave. When I did leave, she told me to find the shadow of the dead seer Tiresias down in Hades.
We sailed to the country of Cimmerians where it was night 24/7. We found the silent trees of Persephone. We dug a hole in the ground and poured blood from black sacrificial animals into it. That summoned the dead spirits that wanted to drink the blood because it would make them conscious for a little while. I kept the rest of the spirits away with while I let Tiresias drink the blood. The spirit then warned me not to touch the herds of Helios when I would reach the island of Thrinacea. He said if I did, I would reach Ithaca on a foreign ship find misery and the suitors in my palace. I would then kill the suitors and then make a sacrifice to Poseidon. After all of that, I would find peace and happiness and die with a death that would come from sea. I then met my mother, Agamemnon and other heroes.
My crew and I sailed back to Circe and she told me about the sirens. They were weird creatures with a bird-like body and ugly women’s heads. They sang so angelic it made all sailors jump into the sea. Literally. Using her advice, I told my crew to fill their ears with wax while they tied me down and didn’t put any wax in my ears. The sirens kept singing and I was trying my best to jump into the sea and I kept telling my crew to untie me and they said no because they promised me they wouldn’t let me go no matter what happened. We then came across Thrinacea. I wanted to sail past but my crew swore they wouldn’t touch Helios’s herd and then we went ashore. There was bad weather so we had to stay on the island for about a month. We starved every day of that month. I went to pray to the gods for help, while I was gone; my crew killed some oxen and ate it.
The weather calmed down so we sailed off, when we did so, we were surprised by a terrible storm and Charybdis caught us. He sunk my ship and drowned my crew; I survived because I was floating on some wood from my ship. I drifted on the wood in the sea for nine days until I reached Ogygia, where a nymph named Calypso lived. She took care of me, and promised me to make me immortal if I married her… I didn’t really answer her with that offer. Athena begged Zeus to help me when Poseidon was away because I was lost and didn’t know what to do. Hermes came to Calypso’s island and asked to let me go.
I made a raft and sailed on it for seventeen days. When I found another island, Poseidon returned home, saw what I was doing and let out a new storm. Are you kidding me! Is there not a day where I can stay dry and not cold and wet from rainy storms? After being tossed around like a football in the storm, Leucothea gave me her veil and told me to swim because it would help me. I was so tired and washed ashore on Scheria, where princess Nausicaa found me and fed and clothed me. I then met her parents king Alcinoos and queen Arete. They threw a party for me being a guest of their home and had a singer who sang about the Trojan horse, I started to cry like a baby and told the royal family who I was and what I had endure on my journey to Ithaca.
Alcinoos gave me precious gifts and loaded them onto my ship, which took me back to Ithaca. I fell asleep on the ship and my new crew put me on a shore. Poseidon was pissed because of that and punished the Faiacs by turning the ship into stone and putting huge mountains around the islands. I cried when I woke up because I didn’t know where I was. I have got to stop crying, I am starting to sound like a loser. Athena visited me while disguised as a young man and told me where I was and about the suitors in my palace. They were literally on the verge to make my Penelope promise them she would marry when she had finished weaving the death shroud of her father-in-law. Every night she unraveled it, but a treacherous maid revealed that to the suitors.
That’s my story so far and I will finish it when the translator of this essay reads the rest of my journey. Though, it will most likely be soon. Thank you for listening to my journey so far to Ithaca.
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