Personal Narrative: How Meditation Changed My Life

Meditation may not have been something I had ever thought of turning to, but when we worked in school time on it; my mind changed. Having the guidance of Natasha was a huge step in my spiritual journey and it motivated me to open my mind to new things. When we completed our first meditation, I became more aware of how I was really feeling on the inside. I went home and reflected on my experience, excited for our next Religion lesson, where I could try a new type of meditation and work with it to suit my needs.

I had participated in meditation before and it had refreshed me a lot, but nothing was a good as the feeling I received when I stood up from our body scan relaxation. Focusing on individual parts of my body wasn’t easy, as each time I would relax something, another thing would tense. But throughout the program of meditation, slowly I felt myself improving.
The breathing meditation was instantly the most appealing to me, as it was the easiest.
But, when experimenting with all different types, I realised; maybe meditation isn’t about it being easy, maybe it’s about enjoying the moment despite it’s challenges. Maybe it’s about feeling peaceful, relaxed, no matter the situation and most of all, maybe it’s about focus. There have been times in my life, where a task is simple and most people’s faces brighten at the thought of it. But, I, on the other hand, felt like the task would be pointless and boring, if there was no effort involved. It was hard for me to stay focused on something so effortless; I wanted a challenge. So, when it came to meditation, I soon discovered I was more fulfilled at the end of a slightly challenging meditation rather than a breezy one. Although, the breathing meditation, was, of course, a great escape from the stresses of daily
life.

Both of these meditations: breathing and body scan, became even more effective when music was played. I felt it filled the inevitable void of the room, and gave me rhythm to work with. Being a writer, I normally write with music on, as it helps me to get into the zone and mood of my work. In this situation it did the same. It helped to keep my positive thoughts on track, instead of wandering to unrelated subjects. Being quite an auditory person, I can hear my writing. I hear the characters saying their words, I hear someone reading the poem. So with the music on, I could hear my thoughts and feelings expressing themselves, and I could understand what I was really feeling.

Seated meditation felt a little pressured, as there were people sitting directly in front of me. Generally, I like to sit to process my thoughts, but the presence of others didn’t seem like it needed to be so large. By this, I mean, the atmosphere of knowing I wasn’t alone and it was safe where I was, but knowing someone could be looking at you, was a bit of a stress.

I would like to practice visualisation meditation, as it is something I could do better alone. This way, I could visualise verbal conversation too, and speak to myself to help find the image in my head. This could benefit my writing and help me to find inspiration.

Drawing the mandalas helped me to express my feelings, even if in not the most appealing way. It felt good to try something so totally different and out of my comfort zone, that I didn’t even need to worry about making it perfect. I could just relax and see where my feelings led my work.

Spiritual journalling may have led me a bit too far. Words are something I can so easily work with and I ended up writing so deeply it made me upset. This is probably I good meditation to practice every few months, as it can be hard to understand my feelings and remember everything when it is trapped inside.