Personal Narrative: My Experience With Anxiety
Anxiety has always been an issue in my life. What I did not know was how easy it would be to change that. Most of my life I struggled with anxiety and social awkwardness. I never knew how to talk to people because I always tried my hardest to avoid the situation. When I got thrown into a situation where I had no choice but to push past my anxiety I realized a lot. Having a support system and being secure in my own mind it helped me realize how easy it would be to move past my anxiety and be social with ease.
Most of my life I never had the trouble of having to interact with people. I was a young homebody who enjoyed reading and just spending time in my own space. A few months before I entered the 5th grade my family had moved to a new town …show more content…
and we didn’t have the option to be able to homeschool at the time. I had no choice but to attend a school where I had to speak to people face to face. My anxiety was sky high and there was no way of calming myself down.
Attending the first day of school was the worse for me. I did not have friends and I was all alone to try and figure out the ins and outs of the school grounds. I had to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths and not have a panic attack as people walked past me, racing to their classes. With each class that I got to I was required to stand in front of them and introduce myself. I was sweating bullets if that was logically possible.
I sat in the back and to the left in each of my classes, I wanted to be as far away from everyone as possible. When it was time for lunch I found the quietest table and ate in silence. During my free time, I sat in an empty classroom and read a book. I had no interest in doing anything other than that. I was more anxious than anything for the day to be over than to interact with other students.
Most of the days I always returned to the same classroom to read my books that I borrowed from the school library. On a random Tuesday, one of the students that I recognized from my math class came into the room and silently sat down to read her own book. When I was done reading for the time being and closed my book, she did the same and spoke to me. We soon became best friends as she showed me officially around the school grounds. We enjoyed a lot of the same things and became close.
She was an outgoing girl.
She was friends with everyone and didn’t have the slightest of social anxiety. She introduced me to friends and gradually she taught me how to fight against my anxiety and be comfortable in my own skin. She taught me that speaking to people wasn’t that scary and that no one would judge me. Her name was Vanessa Pope.
I soon learned how to go along with the flow of every other student in the school. I learned that I was good at speaking to people and that I had a knack for it too. I was no longer afraid and I no longer got that lump in my throat when I spoke to my friends or even strangers. I thought that I had completely got over my fear. Talking and making friends was no longer a trouble for me, but what I didn’t know is how much harder speaking in front of groups of people could be.
One day we were assigned essays that we had to read in front of the entire class after we finished them. I wrote an essay on how the local zoo was treating their animals, I knew I had a good paper. I dreaded the day where I had to stand in front of my class and read my essay. The day was approaching soon and it seemed like every day my anxiety grew more and more. I got the anxiety back in full effect, and this time I did not think I would be able to escape its
grasp.
That day had come and I stood in front of my classroom, my pages clasped in my hands and beads of sweat rolling on my forehead. My hands shook and I felt like I couldn’t form the words even if my lips knew how. I looked towards my friend Vanessa and she gave me a warm smile. I took a deep breath and I read the words on my page. I never missed a beat.
I thought that social anxiety would stick with me for my entire life. I thought that I never would learn how to speak to people no matter how hard I tried. Little did I know that with a little bit of support from a friend, and the will that was in my own heart that I would learn. I escaped the box that was my social anxiety and I wouldn’t return to it if you paid me. I have a talent for speaking and one day I hope to be a public speaker, having no doubts about my abilities.
Most of my life I never had the trouble of having to interact with people. I was a young homebody who enjoyed reading and just spending time in my own space. A few months before I entered the 5th grade my family had moved to a new town …show more content…
and we didn’t have the option to be able to homeschool at the time. I had no choice but to attend a school where I had to speak to people face to face. My anxiety was sky high and there was no way of calming myself down.
Attending the first day of school was the worse for me. I did not have friends and I was all alone to try and figure out the ins and outs of the school grounds. I had to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths and not have a panic attack as people walked past me, racing to their classes. With each class that I got to I was required to stand in front of them and introduce myself. I was sweating bullets if that was logically possible.
I sat in the back and to the left in each of my classes, I wanted to be as far away from everyone as possible. When it was time for lunch I found the quietest table and ate in silence. During my free time, I sat in an empty classroom and read a book. I had no interest in doing anything other than that. I was more anxious than anything for the day to be over than to interact with other students.
Most of the days I always returned to the same classroom to read my books that I borrowed from the school library. On a random Tuesday, one of the students that I recognized from my math class came into the room and silently sat down to read her own book. When I was done reading for the time being and closed my book, she did the same and spoke to me. We soon became best friends as she showed me officially around the school grounds. We enjoyed a lot of the same things and became close.
She was an outgoing girl.
She was friends with everyone and didn’t have the slightest of social anxiety. She introduced me to friends and gradually she taught me how to fight against my anxiety and be comfortable in my own skin. She taught me that speaking to people wasn’t that scary and that no one would judge me. Her name was Vanessa Pope.
I soon learned how to go along with the flow of every other student in the school. I learned that I was good at speaking to people and that I had a knack for it too. I was no longer afraid and I no longer got that lump in my throat when I spoke to my friends or even strangers. I thought that I had completely got over my fear. Talking and making friends was no longer a trouble for me, but what I didn’t know is how much harder speaking in front of groups of people could be.
One day we were assigned essays that we had to read in front of the entire class after we finished them. I wrote an essay on how the local zoo was treating their animals, I knew I had a good paper. I dreaded the day where I had to stand in front of my class and read my essay. The day was approaching soon and it seemed like every day my anxiety grew more and more. I got the anxiety back in full effect, and this time I did not think I would be able to escape its
grasp.
That day had come and I stood in front of my classroom, my pages clasped in my hands and beads of sweat rolling on my forehead. My hands shook and I felt like I couldn’t form the words even if my lips knew how. I looked towards my friend Vanessa and she gave me a warm smile. I took a deep breath and I read the words on my page. I never missed a beat.
I thought that social anxiety would stick with me for my entire life. I thought that I never would learn how to speak to people no matter how hard I tried. Little did I know that with a little bit of support from a friend, and the will that was in my own heart that I would learn. I escaped the box that was my social anxiety and I wouldn’t return to it if you paid me. I have a talent for speaking and one day I hope to be a public speaker, having no doubts about my abilities.