Personal Narrative: The 30s
I thought I'd start with a review of my Christmas holidays. Nothing really exciting, but rather 10 days of much needed R & R and adaptation to the weather that went from +15 degrees celsius to -30 degrees.
It all started with my last exam, which was followed by a dinner with classmates/ friends. Sounds pretty normal and boring, right? Well, the story has a bit more to it than that...
It all goes back to September, when I met a guy and went back to my teenage self - meaning that even though I'm in my early 30s, i found myself with knots in my stomach, incapable to talk to this person, getting sweaty hands, shaking like if I was about to give a 15min speech to a room of 200 people and so on, and being so awkward every time he was around that …show more content…
I'm naturally shy, don't have much to say when I meet someone new and I always let people know this because moments of silence are bound to happen, I won't be able to look you in the eyes for long periods of time, and I will be searching for my words (i.e. appear a bit stupid at times). However, this coffee lasted 2hrs and felt like time was standing still. He was a "cute" guy, nice and all, but I had nothing (more than usual) to say. I never stop on my first impression and don't care much about looks (many people become beautiful when you get to know them, while others become ugly due to their personality). I already knew that this guy was going home fr the holidays, so I wasn't expecting to hear back from him until later (if I was to hear back!). A week later, I saw him online often but never heard back, so being a girl I went into an entire overthinking, self-doubt, self-depreciating state. In other words, I cried and cried and just wanted to understand why all men I meet just never want to get to know me... finally, I slept and realized I didn't care about this one guy had met 2 weeks earlier, but I was actually crying because all the stress from my past semester was finally coming out and all the feelings I'd been keeping bottled up about the younger guy crush were
It all started with my last exam, which was followed by a dinner with classmates/ friends. Sounds pretty normal and boring, right? Well, the story has a bit more to it than that...
It all goes back to September, when I met a guy and went back to my teenage self - meaning that even though I'm in my early 30s, i found myself with knots in my stomach, incapable to talk to this person, getting sweaty hands, shaking like if I was about to give a 15min speech to a room of 200 people and so on, and being so awkward every time he was around that …show more content…
I'm naturally shy, don't have much to say when I meet someone new and I always let people know this because moments of silence are bound to happen, I won't be able to look you in the eyes for long periods of time, and I will be searching for my words (i.e. appear a bit stupid at times). However, this coffee lasted 2hrs and felt like time was standing still. He was a "cute" guy, nice and all, but I had nothing (more than usual) to say. I never stop on my first impression and don't care much about looks (many people become beautiful when you get to know them, while others become ugly due to their personality). I already knew that this guy was going home fr the holidays, so I wasn't expecting to hear back from him until later (if I was to hear back!). A week later, I saw him online often but never heard back, so being a girl I went into an entire overthinking, self-doubt, self-depreciating state. In other words, I cried and cried and just wanted to understand why all men I meet just never want to get to know me... finally, I slept and realized I didn't care about this one guy had met 2 weeks earlier, but I was actually crying because all the stress from my past semester was finally coming out and all the feelings I'd been keeping bottled up about the younger guy crush were