Personal Narrative: The Shift Change In Nursing

It was a regular morning like any other in the hospital, the shift change was at 7 am, but many of us (workers) used to arrive earlier to enjoy the coffee that was made by "Albita" a great person, humble and hardworking. We usually sat in the dining room and we made jokes as we prepared to work all day. In the shift change we transfer the information from the previous shift, discuss about patients, psychiatrist decided changes in the medicine, the therapy was also discuss and who was going to be released from the hospital, so most of the patients were always very anxious for that meeting because most of them wanted to be release. I would say that almost all patients want to run out of mental hospitals, no matter what kind of mental illness they have, and to achieve this, they do several things, such as trying to hide delusions, bizarre conduct or maladaptive thoughts, among others.
When we were on our way to the meeting, we were surprised to see a patient who was hospitalized about 2 weeks ago, she seemed to have taken a shower, she had makeup and looked attractive, with her lips covered by lips gloss and with a graceful smile, she said “well docs today finally I
will leave”. We looked at her with a warm smile. The psychiatrist who was next to me said: "let's see how you’ve been". Since we were on our way to the meeting and none of us knew whether or not a patient is going to be released.
We went to the meeting and the patients went to have breakfast and their first dose of medicine as usual. A few minutes later the screams of a nurse were heard, we all left the office, alarms system went on , everything was too fast and confusing, patients started to cry and scream, some to bang their heads on the wall, etc. We went to the second floor where the screams came from and I just saw someone's feet floating in the air . Horrible feeling.
That patient was quickly removed from the window where she hanged herself with a sheet she had hidden.
Doctors try to revive her, but it was too late. I realized she said “goodbye” and yes, as she said "that day, she left the hospital”. After that I asked myself many questions as a therapist, what has happened with assessments of depression and anxiety, what has happened with the crisis intervention? And what would have happened if instead of going to the meeting any of us had stopped to talk to this patient. Perhaps for us was not enough her history of attempted suicide? Her physical appearance? The nonverbal behavior? Or even her words? Many questions and a big frustration. As therapists how we impact the lives of patients or how patients impact on our lives… I still thinking about
that.
My apologies for a long story.