Promise Letter

Keh Keh
Nora Wagner
2010:042-031
October, 26, 11 Promise Letter During my eighth grade year in the school of Thailand refugee camp, I met a young man by the name of Eh Soe. I didn't get to know him from school. I met him at a friend’s birthday party. He was fourteen years old and I was thirteen years old. We were young and immature. I saw him as he was walking through the front door with his friends to the party. They were nice looking and it seemed fun to know them. I spotted him as he had a great smile on his face and was attractive. Initially, I was reluctant to approach him, but I summoned my courage and asked him for his ethic background. He is the same as me, but he looks so different from other young men. We got to know each other and hung out together throughout the birthday party. Through our conversations, I found out that we had a lot in common and we also shared the same interests. At the end of the party, we exchanged phone numbers. The following day, he called me and we talked for hours. I fell in love with his sweet and beautiful voice instantly. We continued conversing over the phone for about four months before deciding to go out somewhere together. We arranged to meet at the Kaw Yam Mu Poe lay Park near the river. After meeting up, we talked endlessly for what seemed like hours until we had nothing more to say. We sat in silence and stared at the water. I still remember the past in the friend’s birthday party. He took my hand and looked me in the eyes and asked me if I would be willing to give my heart to him. I was completely stunned at the question. I knew I loved him and wanted to be with him, but I was too nervous, and I have never had love before. I don’t understand much about love and I felt that I'm not ready for love yet. Hence, I said honestly, "I'm not ready." His face of happiness turned to sadness and he stopped talking. He dropped my hand from his and walked away from me. I didn't know what to do, so I followed him and joked about us. I told him, "There’s nothing to lose if you don't receive love back from the one person you love.” Gosh! I was so stupid. He never called me back and neither did I. I felt that I did nothing wrong, because I told him what I thought and felt. Days passed. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. It was many years later when I next saw him again at the Karen New Year in Akron, Ohio. I went up to him and greeted him. He said hi and smiled back. I didn't know if he forgave me for what happened years ago, but he asked me to take a walk with him. As we walked, we started chatting about the past. He talked about his senior year in school and I talked about mine. The day went by quickly, even though it seemed like I only spent a couple of hours with him. I couldn't believe how fast the time passed and that he was finally talking to me again. At the end of it, we hugged and bade each other goodbye. He told me that he would be leaving Akron the following day, as he had moved to New Jersey in the past year. I was disappointed and sad that I wouldn't be able to see him. He promised to call me and we communicated mainly through phone calls. We took turns calling each other and my feelings for him grew. Deep within my heart, I knew that he loved me and I loved him. We weren't dating, but we were best friends. He would say something to make me laugh whenever I was stressed or troubled, because he knew that laughing always made me forget about my problems. We continued talking over the phone for three more years. Soon, I was in the third year in the United States and he was in his second year. Throughout the years, we talked over the phone very often, but we hadn't seen each other since that last day of Karen New Year. My feelings for him became very strong and I loved him so much that the thought of losing him hurt me inside. One night, I couldn't hold it anymore and decided that I had to let him know. I called him and he picked up the phone.
"Hello?”
“Oh hi, how's your day?"
"It's okay. I'm just catching up on my homework."
“Why?”
“I’ve been staying up late.”
I wanted to tell him how I felt about him, but my fear started kicking in. I was afraid that he might not feel the same for me because of what happened three years ago. Hence, I backed out. Three months later, he called and asked if he could visit me, as he would be in town for a while. He came over and we went out to watch a movie together. Later that night, he asked me how I felt about him and if I loved him. I was scared to let him know how I felt about him. I said that I had no feelings for him; therefore, I was worry he might not feel the same as I feel. He didn't speak a word as he drove me home in silence. He left a note for me before leaving for home the following day.
To my one and only beloved,
Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much you mean to me? I care so much for you that every night before I go to bed, I pray to heavenly father to protect you and let you know that I will always be by your side to hold and protect you. I fell in love with you the first time we met. You were so pretty and had a great personality. Even though we weren't able to build a relationship, we had a great friendship. I couldn't ask for more. Although I wanted us to be more than just best friends, I know you won't let us. There are times when I felt that you loved me deeply and there are times when I felt that you just wanted me as your friend. Either way, I will always love you and be there for you. Please remember that I am here to hold and protect you when you are troubled. I want you to remember that you're the only one I love and cherish. There's no other girl who can take your place in my heart. I love you until the end of my life.
Your Love,
Eh Soe After I read Eh Soe’s note, I couldn't control my tears as they streamed down my cheeks continuously until my eyes started burning. I felt so pained when I read Eh Soe’s note. I didn’t think Eh Soe loved me that much. Now I knew, and I tried to call him, but his roommate said that he wasn’t home yet. I figured it would take him awhile to get home, so I decided to call him the following day and tell him that I loved him. The phone rang forever the following day when I tried calling him again. When his roommate finally picked up, he told me something crucifying. Eh Soe had been involved in an accident on his way home as he was drunk driving. When I heard what the roommate said, my heart stopped and I couldn't breathe at all. I cried and whispered to myself, “Why did you do that?” he made my life much harder living without him. Now I want to see him as before, and want to talk with him like before, but I can’t. I have no one who can make me happy like he did. Every time I miss him, I have to take out his final note and I read it to myself; it looks like he’s talking to me, and I can see his face, and his mouth just by reading his words, and imagine in my mind. I think again to myself, this time it is too late to tell him that I love him. I felt so sorry for him that I didn’t say any love words to him before he died. I know he loved me so much and I love him too until now. I always remember him, and I know he still loves me. I waited for him to come back to life again so that I can tell him that I love him. Now I love him all the time in my heart. His note said that, “No other girl can take my place”, so now I will say to him that, “No other boy can take his place too.”