I was taught in school growing up that the Holocaust was bad. I was aware that genocide was attempted and many people were killed. It sounds terrible to say, but I had become numb through years of hearing of the mass killings of the Holocaust over and over again, but what I wasn’t ready for what I wasn’t ready for were the photos of the suffering and inhumane living conditions that the victims had to live through for a long period of time before being killed. I imagine it to be similar to my reaction of seeing a dead dog on the side of the freeway (some sadness if I stop to dwell on the thought), compared to a seeing suffering dog just after being hit by the car (deep sadness to the extent of tears). The Concentration Camp sort of opened my eyes to my inner reactions towards death and my much deeper ractions towards suffering.
The Holocaust reading further showed me my reactions to death. As they read countless names of small children only 6 and 7 years old did not have a huge impact on me. The deaths of people in the past has never made me sad or impacted me really. It wasn’t until images of suffering people and children came back to my mind from my Germany trip and I imagined my young nieces and nephews as some of those suffering children I saw in the photos that it became deeply moving.
I think that it is one thing to see statistics and numbers which is largely what is portrayed when we are taught about the Holocaust, but entirely another to actually hear the names one after another for hours. The sheer timeframe puts the magnitude of the Holocaust into perspective. It is a shame, though that there was pretty much nobody listening