Reflection Paper
REFLECTION PAPER
By
In the 2008 Time Magazine article, Are Gay Relationships Different?, by John Cloud, the author explores differences between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Having ended a seven year relationship with his partner, Michael, the experience afforded John the time to explore why his union failed and how it measured-up statistically against straight relationships.
Many of the same hazards that befall those who are straight also plagued John and Michael’s gay relationship. A noticeable difference in the decision to end their relationship—and how such a decision would be arrived upon in a heterosexual relationship—was time. The article states that heterosexual couples are more likely to work through issues, rather than admit that feelings are fading, and subsequently leave—which homosexual couples often have more freedom to do. A large percentage of gay couples are able to break-up and move-out, rather than hire attorneys and resolve child custody issues. Conversely, same-sex relationships tend to be more equal in terms of responsibility and expectations. Since neither partner is generally placed in a gender role, fighting seems to be less aggressive that those of straight couples. Also, Mr. Cloud believes that gay couples are more open to nonmonogamy, so there are fewer restraints in the relationship.
In a study by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Robert Levenson1, it was determined that gay couples did not “repair” as often as straight couples, and that gay couples needed heart-racing moments within their relationships, whereas straight couples where satisfied with just being content.
Therefore, if the passion is gone in a gay relationship, they are much more likely to end the bond.
The conclusion made by the author of this article was that gay and straight couples could learn useful relationship guidance from one another in order to form healthy, long-lasting unions.
1
By
In the 2008 Time Magazine article, Are Gay Relationships Different?, by John Cloud, the author explores differences between heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Having ended a seven year relationship with his partner, Michael, the experience afforded John the time to explore why his union failed and how it measured-up statistically against straight relationships.
Many of the same hazards that befall those who are straight also plagued John and Michael’s gay relationship. A noticeable difference in the decision to end their relationship—and how such a decision would be arrived upon in a heterosexual relationship—was time. The article states that heterosexual couples are more likely to work through issues, rather than admit that feelings are fading, and subsequently leave—which homosexual couples often have more freedom to do. A large percentage of gay couples are able to break-up and move-out, rather than hire attorneys and resolve child custody issues. Conversely, same-sex relationships tend to be more equal in terms of responsibility and expectations. Since neither partner is generally placed in a gender role, fighting seems to be less aggressive that those of straight couples. Also, Mr. Cloud believes that gay couples are more open to nonmonogamy, so there are fewer restraints in the relationship.
In a study by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Robert Levenson1, it was determined that gay couples did not “repair” as often as straight couples, and that gay couples needed heart-racing moments within their relationships, whereas straight couples where satisfied with just being content.
Therefore, if the passion is gone in a gay relationship, they are much more likely to end the bond.
The conclusion made by the author of this article was that gay and straight couples could learn useful relationship guidance from one another in order to form healthy, long-lasting unions.
1