Remember What Ms. Lonely Hearts Told Mr. Stringer-Offer: Case Study

Set the Default Mode.
Remember what Ms. Lonely Hearts told Mr. Stringer-Alonger:
"If you're not prepared to make a commitment within the next year, I need to look elsewhere for a life companion. I don't want time and opportunity to pass me by."
Notice that Hearts has not only stated her position, she has also stated her "default mode"- her "what-if". What if Stringer isn't prepared to meet Hearts' needs in a year? She'll move on.
What about the argument that Hearts should just wait for Stringer to make a commitment on his own. If after a year, Stringer hasn't made a commitment, Hearts should just walk away.
This approach is really unfair to both Hearts and Stringer. It is unfair to Stringer because he is being deprived of the opportunity
She could be missing the chance to get what she wants. Unless Hearts communicates her position to Stringer, Stringer may really not be aware of her position. He could be thinking that Hearts is happy with the status quo. However, when Hearts tells Stringer her position, Stringer can no longer misunderstand it. So always include your default mode, your what-if: What if there is no response.
Sell Your Positions.
Don't be afraid to sell your position. Remember that in selling your position:
1. Include your feelings and the reasons for your position. Explanations help sell positions. The other person is going to be much more accepting of your position if she understands the logic behind it, the effort you went to, the obstacles you overcame, the benefits to others, etc.
2. Sell your position from the other person's standpoint. Your boss is going to be much more sympathetic to your absence from work if you discuss something that Boss is interested in--your return to work. So tell Boss:
a. The steps you've taken to return to work as quickly as possible. You've seen the doctor, taken your medicine,
Only bad people lose. But people never think of themselves as bad. Even when they're "appropriating" something that doesn't belong to them, they rationalize. Jack Ripoff doesn't say to himself, "I'm a bad person. Therefore I'm stealing Hymie's trade secrets and using them to put him out of business". Jack says to himself, "I developed those formulas for Hymie. I have a right to use them. All those years I devoted myself to Hymie and never got paid what I was worth. It's the least Hymie can do for me. Hymie doesn't really need the business anyway. He's got plenty. Besides, it's about time Hymie retired."
3. Nobody who loses believes they deserve to lose. They lost unfairly. Hence they want revenge. They want to get even with the winner. Therefore the winner also loses.
So don't focus on the other side's losing. Try to make it a win-win situation for both sides as much as possible. In order to do that, you have to make the other side look good--even if the other side is losing. Give in on some negotiating point so that the other side can claim some victory, however small. Help Jack Ripoff find another job. Write him a letter of reference. Maybe he won't be so inclined to steal your formulations and go into business in competition with