Satire About Drugs
Everybody knows that the real problem with illegal drugs is that they cost too much, and they are so difficult to get that drug addicts need to commit crimes in order to feed their habits. If only people could go down to the nearest Seven-Eleven and buy a cocaine-powdered donut, or drive up to the window at McDonald's and order a dank 10-piece marijuana nugget meal. Then people wouldn’t need to knock down an old lady and grab her purse, or commit a home invasion robbery for some extra cheese. People would not be as shady and messed up to others if they could get what they want and need easier (cheaper). There would be less crime and no drug dealers. Drugs have made a major impact on American history since the founding of the first English
colony. Even as drugs, legal and otherwise, have contributed to the growth of the nation's economy, Americans have struggled to find policies that limit drugs' negative effects on society without generating negative side-effects of their own. America’s history is full of drugs. Without drugs America is not “America”. Drugs have been around in America for centuries and will improve the nation and make it richer if the government just knew what to do with these drug problems. Billions of dollars are spent illegal drugs which show that illegal drugs are a substantial portion of the American economy. They take money away from legitimate jobs, products, and services. Drug addicts are more likely to get their money by illegal means rather than honest work at a job. Moreover, the money that they use to buy drugs is not available to purchase legitimate and basic necessities. Whatever salary they receive will go straight to feeding their addiction. The presence of drug dealers and buyers in the work place would not only badly reflect the business, but discourage people from entering those businesses because they would be frightened. Crimes often occur in the places where drugs are bought and sold. Moreover, the dealers commit crimes in order to collect money from the buyers through force or to discourage the general public. Millions of Americans are in federal prison for drug related charges. If the government legalized drugs somehow then these “offenders” would not be in prison in the first place costing the nation a portion of its tax dollars and etc. It costs the nation billions of dollars to regulate on illegal drugs every year when it could be going to healthcare or more important things. America should learn how to market these drugs even if it is bad for people. We all know that smoking cigarettes causes cancer and is the number one cause of death in the world, yet they tax cigarettes a lot and also we still smoke. We also know that alcohol is a big problem in America, yet it is still sold in stores everywhere along with tobacco products. It is the people’s choice and if one chooses to smoke crack then let them smoke crack. We are in a recession right now and this proposal is a way to end problems in America. Marketing illegal drugs legally will basically make a lot of money for this nation and make people happy at the same time. It will end recessions and depressions and whatever in the future and beyond. Why sell tobacco and alcohol but not the whole package of drugs legally? Drugs simply end problems and makes people happy, which is why God put it upon this world.
colony. Even as drugs, legal and otherwise, have contributed to the growth of the nation's economy, Americans have struggled to find policies that limit drugs' negative effects on society without generating negative side-effects of their own. America’s history is full of drugs. Without drugs America is not “America”. Drugs have been around in America for centuries and will improve the nation and make it richer if the government just knew what to do with these drug problems. Billions of dollars are spent illegal drugs which show that illegal drugs are a substantial portion of the American economy. They take money away from legitimate jobs, products, and services. Drug addicts are more likely to get their money by illegal means rather than honest work at a job. Moreover, the money that they use to buy drugs is not available to purchase legitimate and basic necessities. Whatever salary they receive will go straight to feeding their addiction. The presence of drug dealers and buyers in the work place would not only badly reflect the business, but discourage people from entering those businesses because they would be frightened. Crimes often occur in the places where drugs are bought and sold. Moreover, the dealers commit crimes in order to collect money from the buyers through force or to discourage the general public. Millions of Americans are in federal prison for drug related charges. If the government legalized drugs somehow then these “offenders” would not be in prison in the first place costing the nation a portion of its tax dollars and etc. It costs the nation billions of dollars to regulate on illegal drugs every year when it could be going to healthcare or more important things. America should learn how to market these drugs even if it is bad for people. We all know that smoking cigarettes causes cancer and is the number one cause of death in the world, yet they tax cigarettes a lot and also we still smoke. We also know that alcohol is a big problem in America, yet it is still sold in stores everywhere along with tobacco products. It is the people’s choice and if one chooses to smoke crack then let them smoke crack. We are in a recession right now and this proposal is a way to end problems in America. Marketing illegal drugs legally will basically make a lot of money for this nation and make people happy at the same time. It will end recessions and depressions and whatever in the future and beyond. Why sell tobacco and alcohol but not the whole package of drugs legally? Drugs simply end problems and makes people happy, which is why God put it upon this world.