Schlessinger's The Improper Care And Feeding Of Husbands
You would like to think that a two year relationship would be standing strong on two pillars. But what if a third pillar tried to knock down one of the stable pillars? If the third pillar succeeded, then what would you think? Who is at fault for the failed relationship? Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author of “The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” explained how women are, ultimately, the reason their relationships are not successful. However, in the essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” Deborah Tannen offers proof that both genders are to blame for the failed relationship. Essentially, relationships are difficult to maintain because men and women are wired differently. After reading, “The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” the reader
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Laura Schlessinger sees women as the issue in relationships, author Deborah Tannen believes that both genders cause problems in relationships. Tannen shows all the research she conducted that allows the reader to infer that males and females are very different. Obviously males and females are raised differently, but it seems no one expected for that to affect their relationships. Tannen provides evidence that shows the different mindset of males and females when she explains, “For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven. Bonds between boys can be as intense as girls’, but they are based less on talking, more on doing things together” (1). Simply, boys and girls are wired differently. They have a different mindset about what is most important in a relationship. Because they each have a different way of thinking, it can often cause problems. Those problems are getting more difficult to solve. Both the male and female want to be right and not at fault for why they fought. That concept is easy to understand after reading, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” because Tannen explains it thoroughly. In relationships, the male and female tend to find a flaw in their partner and use it against them in the argument. An example of this is given when Tannen stated, “Many of the psychological explanations that have become second nature may not be helpful, because they tend to blame either women (for not being assertive enough) or men (for not being in touch with their feelings)” (3). These flaws are used against the other person in an argument. Evidently, it is not only the female’s fault as to why the relationship is not working; it can also be the male’s
Laura Schlessinger sees women as the issue in relationships, author Deborah Tannen believes that both genders cause problems in relationships. Tannen shows all the research she conducted that allows the reader to infer that males and females are very different. Obviously males and females are raised differently, but it seems no one expected for that to affect their relationships. Tannen provides evidence that shows the different mindset of males and females when she explains, “For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven. Bonds between boys can be as intense as girls’, but they are based less on talking, more on doing things together” (1). Simply, boys and girls are wired differently. They have a different mindset about what is most important in a relationship. Because they each have a different way of thinking, it can often cause problems. Those problems are getting more difficult to solve. Both the male and female want to be right and not at fault for why they fought. That concept is easy to understand after reading, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” because Tannen explains it thoroughly. In relationships, the male and female tend to find a flaw in their partner and use it against them in the argument. An example of this is given when Tannen stated, “Many of the psychological explanations that have become second nature may not be helpful, because they tend to blame either women (for not being assertive enough) or men (for not being in touch with their feelings)” (3). These flaws are used against the other person in an argument. Evidently, it is not only the female’s fault as to why the relationship is not working; it can also be the male’s