Senior Year Narrative

Senior year is considered the best year. Expectations are high in the classroom and on the field. As this past August approached I was ready to lead. I was ready to do well in my classes and I anticipated a successful softball season as well. I was determined to make it great. Senior year was going to be my year. My coach told me I was going to see a lot of playing time, so I went to work months before the start of high school season. The week of our first game arrived, but I was not in the starting line up. I thought to myself, “This is just the first week, I need to give it time.”
The middle of the season came and I was barely playing, let alone starting. I could not help but go home everyday after practice or game and try to process why my coach did not see something in me for my name to be in the starting lineup. At first I cried and cried; never in a million years did I imagine I would be sitting as a senior. I was so ashamed of myself that I did not want any of my friends or family to watch my games because nothing was more embarrassing than having to explain why I was not able to start.
After many nights of crying and talking to adult figures in my life about what I should do and how I should try to handle this situation, I had to accept the fact that I could not change or control what my coach thought of me.
Instead, I used that disappointment to work even harder. I knew that even though I could work hard I could and still not play, I was going to make myself proud. I was not going to rely on the validation of my teammates and coaches to realize that I was giving them my all on and off the field. I become the best teammate that I could be. I made sure I was on the fence and at the front of the dugout every game so I could cheer loudly for my teammates. When I saw someone make a great play or her hustle was outstanding, I made sure to recognize them. If my coach threw me in to run, I made sure I was the smartest and fastest base runner out
there.
I learned that there is more to life by sitting. I do not think some people realize how mentally tough athletes are when you are starting bench, especially as seniors. Anyone can go out and play, but sitting leads to lack of confidence, self-doubt and even the thought of quitting. Being able to stay mentally tough and tell myself that my time on the field does not define me as person is a challenge of its own. As much as I would love to go out there, start, and play, I am thankful for this year’s struggles because without it, I would not have discovered my strengths. I have learned the true meanings of resilience, moxie and grit. I would not be the athlete or teammate I am without them because when I become older and face more challenging things, I will know how to persevere through. I will not believe quitting is the option. I will learn from my mistakes, and most importantly, I have to believe in myself before anyone else will. Quitting would have been easy, but I never hear stories about the people who decided to give up.