Tank's War: A Short Story

The next day Allister called to invite Tank to drive over with him and speak with Pastor Jim. Willing to try one last time, he agreed.
Jim Watts had a smile as warm as the sun. He was well-tanned and somehow a little uncertain. Tank caught the essence of his features, but none of it, he held in his mind beyond an impression of astonishing piety. His long hair floated around him resembling a golden blanket. As he moved his hair danced as if in an unseen wind. His handsome features resembled a canvas that remains in memory for a long time.
His outer appearance seemed far from a figure, who would know anything about the military. That was until…
“Hooah,” the Pastor greeted the two men. Tank watched him with surprise. Was he a soldier or Marine?
“During those years you built a safety net around yourself to avoid discussing the issue of forgiving yourself.”
“How can that happen when God hasn’t forgiven me? I’ve prayed and confessed my actions in war as a sin. Still, the nightmares continue and I’m always sick.”
“Tank, the moment you sought forgiveness, the Lord granted it and that without condition. At that moment the Lord tossed your past into the sea of His forgetfulness. It is us who retains our sin through not knowing how to release it.
Certain wounds received in combat are clearly seen. An example of that is your back. I’m sure that over the year’s arthritis developed from the original wounds. They are badges of honor. There are also unseen wounds that you and I came back with. These are also badges of honor and we must learn how to live with them. We never forget, we just learn to live successfully with them.
If a veteran was sitting in a wheelchair on the street, wouldn’t we honor him? Yes, of course, we would. Don’t you find benefit from a wheelchair in secret, should we not honor you?”
Tank, looking confused
“How dare they? They are the ones with sin in their lives.”
“Still, Pastor, the Lord hasn’t taken away my pain and failures.”
“Listen, Tank, the Lord won’t let you walk through anything that He hasn’t given you the weapons to overcome. In the Bible when circumstances grew too tough, the Lord showed up with the miraculous. Sometimes the rescue mission came at the last-minute. I’m sure you experienced that in the service.”
“What can I do Pastor?” He hoped for a magic pill to take away the pain.
“There is no magic potion, Tank. We need to meet together every week to talk and pray together. Over time, you will discover the best way for you to live successfully with your memories. It’s different for every one of us. May I ask you a question to show you that no one can fix the pain immediately? It will show you if you are ready to talk it all out. What is your greatest fear-provoking memory?”
“Pastor, before we talk about that, I need time to process what we touched on today.”
Tank wasn’t ready to go there. Nor did he grasp the Pastor’s motive behind his question. He stood up signaling to Allister it was time to