Tcom102 Week 2 Assignment Analysis
Generally, I had a writing issue for instance, was unable to write concise and precise. After many attempts, I could not fix this problem. But in TCOM102, I found it helpful in minimizing the same problem. For example, I am here giving some examples with my previous sentences and the improved one’s:
First example:
A. Old sentence -
My father and mother says that it is better to avoid meat, fish, pork or anything which is not a vegetarian food.
B. New sentence -
My parents say it is better to prefer vegetarian food over non vegetarian.
Explanation:
Non vegetarian is a single word and includes meat, fish, pork or anything word. It is unnecessary to include all of them.
Father and mother collectively termed as parents.
Avoid is a negative word in comparison with prefer.
Second example:
A. Old sentence –
Priest says that …show more content…
Third example:
A. Old sentence –
The rise in CO (carbon monoxide) levels are increasing at an exceptionally terrifying rate.
B. New sentence –
CO (carbon monoxide) levels are increasing at a terrifying rate.
Explanation:
Exceptionally and terrifying are similar words and us in co-operation can confuse the reader. Similarly, when giving self-view, use of ‘In my view, I think’ or ‘Basic essential’ is not correct. As writing same thing twice is not looks good.
Forth example:
A. Old sentence –
By shifting the cross-sectional area of the sections and then smearing a uniaxial load on each one, the values of displacement at maximum tensile strength were observed.
B. New Sentence –
By shifting the cross-sectional area of the sections and then smearing a uniaxial load on each one, we can find the values of displacement at maximum tensile strength.
Explanation:
Misuse of the passive combines with other features of poor writing to make this a fragile sentence. Statement of the word (“we”) can add clarity to the
First example:
A. Old sentence -
My father and mother says that it is better to avoid meat, fish, pork or anything which is not a vegetarian food.
B. New sentence -
My parents say it is better to prefer vegetarian food over non vegetarian.
Explanation:
Non vegetarian is a single word and includes meat, fish, pork or anything word. It is unnecessary to include all of them.
Father and mother collectively termed as parents.
Avoid is a negative word in comparison with prefer.
Second example:
A. Old sentence –
Priest says that …show more content…
Third example:
A. Old sentence –
The rise in CO (carbon monoxide) levels are increasing at an exceptionally terrifying rate.
B. New sentence –
CO (carbon monoxide) levels are increasing at a terrifying rate.
Explanation:
Exceptionally and terrifying are similar words and us in co-operation can confuse the reader. Similarly, when giving self-view, use of ‘In my view, I think’ or ‘Basic essential’ is not correct. As writing same thing twice is not looks good.
Forth example:
A. Old sentence –
By shifting the cross-sectional area of the sections and then smearing a uniaxial load on each one, the values of displacement at maximum tensile strength were observed.
B. New Sentence –
By shifting the cross-sectional area of the sections and then smearing a uniaxial load on each one, we can find the values of displacement at maximum tensile strength.
Explanation:
Misuse of the passive combines with other features of poor writing to make this a fragile sentence. Statement of the word (“we”) can add clarity to the