The Purity Myth Summary
The main problem addressed in the introduction to The Purity Myth is how the concept of virginity has been used to oppress young women. Jessica Valenti’s primary claim is that the concept of virginity is a myth designed to hypersexualize young girls and link a woman’s worth to the men that she has been with sexually, thereby perpetuating misogyny. Valenti believes that virginity is a social construct that should be eliminated in order to preserve the dignity of young girls and to teach them actual morality based on ethics. She believes that our culture of antithetical advertisement confuses young women about what they should or should not be doing with their bodies and creates unnecessary conflict over what is right or wrong. The author offers personal anecdotes about her own “loss” of virginity to bolster her position on its validity in describing a woman. Valenti recalls the moment not being as monumental as she figured it would be, and she uses this point to reiterate her point that virginity isn’t actually real, but rather a social construct. These personal stories are a strength, allowing her to connect with the audience through her experiences and draw upon her wisdom around sex. Also, her discussion of the queer community is a strong point, by providing her with an opportunity to address her own heteronormative perspective on virginity and to
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give another community’s perspective. Some may assert that virginity is less of a social construct and more of a medical term used to describe the condition of the hymen.
Though, this area is well discussed within medicine, with the greater community identifying that virginity has little meaning, as the hymen can be torn or stretched by a variety of nonsexual activity. These issues are important because they negatively impact young women by tying their worth to the status of their sexuality. The concept of virginity is often exclusively limited to heterosexual encounters and is frequently used to delegitimize the sexual relationships of same sex
couples.
In relation to the issue of virginity, I am one whose sex life is delegitimized by the heteronormative concept of virginity. As a woman who sleeps with other women, our sex, per the heteronormative model of virginity, does not fall into the activity that counts to “losing” said virginity. As a woman, if my relations with women counted as “losing” my virginity, I would also be seen as less than, because I have had sexual relations. I am an individual whose self-worth is inversely related to the number of people that I have slept with. I do not sit quietly when I hear men, or women, use sexually oppressive terms such as “whore” or “slut.” I already frequently have discussions with my peers and members of my family about sexual positivity and how we can all change our perspectives on sex, if we look at it from a less emotional and more logical standpoint. I will commonly question my peers as to why we consider the act of having sex for the first time as a loss of virginity when there is so much to gain from engaging in sexual activity. Through sex, people may gain a greater sense of self awareness and sex can and should be empowering to all parties involved, so why is it that we consider it a loss? How can we lose when we gain so much moving forward? As a queer woman, I often ask people to explain virginity to me. I typically receive a male centered, heteronormative response, that leaves me wondering where I fit in, as a woman that does not sleep with men. As a follow up, I will usually ask them what they consider my sexual status to be. It is my hope that uncomfortable conversations such as these generate an opportunity to look beyond what we have always been taught. From a young age, people are taught that virginity is something that is real and something that is lost when you have sex for the first time. By opening up about my own personal experiences, and using those to discuss with others about their definitions of sex, I find that most of the time people have a definition of sex and a definition of virginity that don’t align. This misalignment creates an opportunity to look at the issue from a more logical standpoint, and let go of the ways we are socialized to think about sex and virginity. Instead of trying to muddle through years of socialization, these issues become a simple logic question designed to cast doubt into an individual’s mind. If I can make people question if virginity is real in a ten-minute conversation after years of certainty, I will continue to do just that
give another community’s perspective. Some may assert that virginity is less of a social construct and more of a medical term used to describe the condition of the hymen.
Though, this area is well discussed within medicine, with the greater community identifying that virginity has little meaning, as the hymen can be torn or stretched by a variety of nonsexual activity. These issues are important because they negatively impact young women by tying their worth to the status of their sexuality. The concept of virginity is often exclusively limited to heterosexual encounters and is frequently used to delegitimize the sexual relationships of same sex
couples.
In relation to the issue of virginity, I am one whose sex life is delegitimized by the heteronormative concept of virginity. As a woman who sleeps with other women, our sex, per the heteronormative model of virginity, does not fall into the activity that counts to “losing” said virginity. As a woman, if my relations with women counted as “losing” my virginity, I would also be seen as less than, because I have had sexual relations. I am an individual whose self-worth is inversely related to the number of people that I have slept with. I do not sit quietly when I hear men, or women, use sexually oppressive terms such as “whore” or “slut.” I already frequently have discussions with my peers and members of my family about sexual positivity and how we can all change our perspectives on sex, if we look at it from a less emotional and more logical standpoint. I will commonly question my peers as to why we consider the act of having sex for the first time as a loss of virginity when there is so much to gain from engaging in sexual activity. Through sex, people may gain a greater sense of self awareness and sex can and should be empowering to all parties involved, so why is it that we consider it a loss? How can we lose when we gain so much moving forward? As a queer woman, I often ask people to explain virginity to me. I typically receive a male centered, heteronormative response, that leaves me wondering where I fit in, as a woman that does not sleep with men. As a follow up, I will usually ask them what they consider my sexual status to be. It is my hope that uncomfortable conversations such as these generate an opportunity to look beyond what we have always been taught. From a young age, people are taught that virginity is something that is real and something that is lost when you have sex for the first time. By opening up about my own personal experiences, and using those to discuss with others about their definitions of sex, I find that most of the time people have a definition of sex and a definition of virginity that don’t align. This misalignment creates an opportunity to look at the issue from a more logical standpoint, and let go of the ways we are socialized to think about sex and virginity. Instead of trying to muddle through years of socialization, these issues become a simple logic question designed to cast doubt into an individual’s mind. If I can make people question if virginity is real in a ten-minute conversation after years of certainty, I will continue to do just that