Dustin Hopkins
English A100
13 December 2012
What type of Facebook-er are you? Living in the 21st century, Facebook has pretty much taking over our world. We have reached a point where we believe that if you do not have a Facebook, then you do not have a life. About hundreds of people join Facebook every day, making it one of the most visited websites in the world, with about 585 million active members. 585 million! You might think that this is too much, but in fact, there are actually four main categories of Facebook users in the world—“annoying-Facebook-girl,” the “Simon-Cowell,” the “attention-seeking-whore,” and the “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook.” Each and every user in these categories specializes in a particular way of participating on Facebook: a way of updating their statuses, how they comment, how many pictures they upload every day, and how often they spend their time on Facebook. If you have an “annoying-Facebook-girl” on your friends list, deactivate your account right now! The main feature of the “annoying-Facebook-girl,” other than being just plain obnoxious, is the gift to update her status every few hours with crap no one really cares about. Her name will blow up on your news feed in a matter of seconds. The most common words used in their statuses are “OMG!” or “OH EM GEE!” They tend to upload not just a single photo, but albums of crappy pictures in a day. A typical “annoying-facebook-girl” would upload an album with 200 or more pictures titled “Mcdonaldz wd my Bff’z<333” or “OMG! PArtaAayYy.” They are creatures with wild imaginations; they can turn an ordinary restroom into a photo-shoot studio; their relationship statuses are “married” or “engaged” to their best friends, and they all share a mutual obsession with Justin Bieber, Twilight, and the boys from One Direction. These creatures change their profile pictures almost every other day; their famous picture pose is the repulsive “Duck face”—they stick their lips out