What Is Gratitude

What is gratitude; there are many of definitions to define this word. Some of these definitions are the emotion that arises from multiple sources, including general appreciation of other people in one’s life. Another definition is the appreciation of nature and the world. Another one is to focus on the personal benefits and positive circumstances, and finally the aspects of interpersonal relationships and transactions. We know that feeling and expressing gratitude is a good thing. But what needs to happen inside us so that we’re more mindful and present for the experience of gratitude? How can the experience of gratitude open us to life more deeply and connect us more intimately with each other?

There are four steps to a deeper gratitude. They are recognizing, relaxing and receiving, relishing, and responding. First, there is recognizing. Gratitude is a sense of appreciation for the good things that meander our way. It begins by recognizing that something happened just then. Someone commented on our kindness or perceptiveness. We received a kind word about something we wrote or a project we completed, or someone holds open a door and flashes a warm smile as we walk in. That’s all recognizing the simple little things. The second step is relaxing and receiving. Most of us are not very skilled at receiving a gift, compliment, smile or hug. We might feel that we don’t really deserve it or they really knew us, they wouldn’t be so kind or responsive. Shame may clog our receptors, making us unavailable to receive graciously. Disallowing ourselves to receive is actually a form of narcissism. Rather than receive gracefully thereby signaling to the giver that their kindness touched us in some way, we divert our eyes, shut down, or dismiss it. Our self-referential thoughts, fears, and insecurities keep us preoccupied in a world that does not allow an easy flow of giving and receiving. The third step of gratitude is relishing. What is relishing?