Professor Hayes
COM 120-807
3 December 2011
Establishing a Relationship
A relationship is a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship. People in a relationship will share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Interpersonal relationships can change continuously during its existence; however, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, they can also go in and out of several different stages. Let’s look at the book “The Notebook” and explain these stages as they approach them during the film and the book.
The first stage is contact and this is when one will make their first impression of the other person. This stage can also be known as an acquaintance stage as well. This is a very important stage. According to John Gray, Ph.D., “This is one of the biggest challenges in the beginning of a relationship is to sustain the feeling of attraction and give it a chance to grow as we get to know someone” (34-35). This stage can last a short while or it can continue indefinitely.
In the movie, “The Notebook” Noah met Allie for the first time at a carnival with some of his friends. The attraction he felt for her was remarkable and he knew before his next breath that he could spend his life with her. Noah did whatever he could to get her to go out with him. He even went to the extreme to jump on a ferrous-wheel ride to ask her out on a date, because he was determined to get to know her. His attraction to her was more to him, than the beauty he saw on the outside. She agreed to go out with him on a date, and he was determined to make her stand by her agreement.
Stage two is the involvement stage. This is when each person learns about each other and to see if the first impressions are correct and to decide if they want to pursue a relationship with each other. During this stage is when people begin to trust and care about each other. This is also the stage when one tries to
Cited: Abel, Robert. The Relationship Toolbox. Lakewood: Valentine Publishing. 1998. Print Gray, Ph.D., John. Mars and Venus on a Date. New York: Harper Collins Inc., 1997. Print. Gray, Ph.D., John. Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus. New York: Harper Collins, 2000 Print. Sparks, Nicholas, The Notebook. New York: Warner Books Inc., 1996. Print. Sparks, Nicholas, The Notebook. Burbank: Warner Home Video, 2004. Print.