I Believe in Forgiveness
I Believe Essay
Draft 2
09/14/12
Word Count 842 The Power of Forgiveness
I believe in forgiveness.
I never really understood the meaning of forgiveness. When people hurt me or treat me badly I always thought the best way to handle it is to hold it in. I never showed anger on the outside but just kept it all in. Instead, I let it boil inside of me. My kind act toward those who hurt me was a shield from my pain. Most of my kind act was at my mother. I blamed my birth mother for every relationship I have ever been in that ended with my hurting the guy or me thinking I am just going to be like my mother and leave him for the next person. Over the years, her actions and mishaps became the victim for my own actions. The fact that I have not yet become a divorcee like her was justification for her being irresponsible, dishonest, and ungrateful. Throughout the years of struggle, dysfunctional relationships, and little to no relationship, I hardly took responsibility for anything that I had done. I laid all my relationship troubles on my birth mother. I call her my birth mother because I never grew up with her but I have met her from time to time. She gave me to my dad when I was seven years old because of another man. I blame my relationship trouble on her because she never had a solid relationship for me to learn from. She has been married four times and the longest have been a year and that was to my dad. Then a few months ago, something shocking happened to me: I was in a committed relationship for the first time in my life. I was so scared I would be just like her or I was going to ruin this wonderful guy’s life.
One night, as I was trying to sleep, thinking about my life, I suddenly became filled with fear. I was convinced I would screw up my life —that all my fear of being like her was tarnishing my relationship life. Strangely, while panicking about my life becoming a doom, my mother came to mind. I sat there
Draft 2
09/14/12
Word Count 842 The Power of Forgiveness
I believe in forgiveness.
I never really understood the meaning of forgiveness. When people hurt me or treat me badly I always thought the best way to handle it is to hold it in. I never showed anger on the outside but just kept it all in. Instead, I let it boil inside of me. My kind act toward those who hurt me was a shield from my pain. Most of my kind act was at my mother. I blamed my birth mother for every relationship I have ever been in that ended with my hurting the guy or me thinking I am just going to be like my mother and leave him for the next person. Over the years, her actions and mishaps became the victim for my own actions. The fact that I have not yet become a divorcee like her was justification for her being irresponsible, dishonest, and ungrateful. Throughout the years of struggle, dysfunctional relationships, and little to no relationship, I hardly took responsibility for anything that I had done. I laid all my relationship troubles on my birth mother. I call her my birth mother because I never grew up with her but I have met her from time to time. She gave me to my dad when I was seven years old because of another man. I blame my relationship trouble on her because she never had a solid relationship for me to learn from. She has been married four times and the longest have been a year and that was to my dad. Then a few months ago, something shocking happened to me: I was in a committed relationship for the first time in my life. I was so scared I would be just like her or I was going to ruin this wonderful guy’s life.
One night, as I was trying to sleep, thinking about my life, I suddenly became filled with fear. I was convinced I would screw up my life —that all my fear of being like her was tarnishing my relationship life. Strangely, while panicking about my life becoming a doom, my mother came to mind. I sat there