Abraham Lincoln's Assassination Short Summary

Prologue
They had overrun the White House in two days and the world in four. They should have listened. They should have listened. If only they had listened.
Potato
Bob Jones was an average American man, fat and bald. He lived in New York. He was very lonely even though he was relatively old, forty-two brand new. Bob was very socially awkward. Everyone thought he was crazy. He would always ramble on about a secret race of potatoes. He also didn’t bother to socialize. He was morbidly obese, he was very insecure. He was actually so big that the producers of “My 600-lb Life” refused to shoot an episode of him because he was too big. However,it didn’t bother him too much; he was about to expose The Potatoes to the world. He had found enough evidence
The most terrifying thing of all of it was that he was having dreams of the uprising. He kept dreaming of the building of the pyramids. JFK’s assassination. MLK’s assassination. Abe Lincoln’s assassination. All the history changing events. And The Potatoes were all behind it. He dreamed of Bush. He was a Potatoes. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Every political and influential figure in the world was a potato. They had slowly been gaining power since Kanye became the President in 2020. He was in his second term now. He couldn’t stand and do nothing he had to warn the people of The Potatoes. He went to Manhattan and joined his fellow conspiracists in the streets and bared the emblem of a hero. A sign that said “The Potatoes are coming. The end is near.” He lived with his brethren; getting money from strangers who lived for the cause. That night every political figure in the world made a national address to their nation saying, “People of Earth. We have risen. From now till we exterminate your kind, Trump Tower; or even better Trumptato Tower, will be the capital of the word.” It had
The contradiction is I do fight for artists, but in that fight I somehow was disrespectful to artists. I didn’t know how to say the right thing, the perfect thing. I just … I sat at the Grammys and saw Justin Timberlake and Cee-Lo lose. Gnarls Barkley and the FutureLove … SexyBack album … and Justin, I ain’t trying to put you on blast, but I saw that man in tears, bro. You know, and I was thinking, like, ’He deserved to win Album of the Year!' And this small box that we are as the entertainers of the evening … How could you explain that? Sometimes I feel like all this s–t they run about beef and all that? Sometimes I feel like I died for the artist’s opinion. For artists to be able to have an opinion after they were successful. I’m not no politician,