Active Listening
Have you ever wondered are the members of a church are really listening to the message? If there was any other place where someone would be more focused I would think that it would be either at a church or at the doctor’s office. I have decided to take a look into the crowd of a church to see how the audience receives what could be a moving message. Something that should be life changing and you’ll find that for the most part, it is. As the doors open to the sanctuary there is a since of serenity and calm to the air although there is singing going on in preparation for the speaker of the hour. Many participants are making their last minute shuffles to get situated for a message to hopefully enrich their lives, faith, or even temporal situations.
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As the song is drawing a near, the church members begin to welcome the speaker, with attentive postures and ears while some parents are settling the children.
As a fundamental basic of listening, DeVito mentions that there are five fundamental steps to listening.
He believes that the process should be receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding. (DeVito, pg. 83) When this process is put into practice, usually during the responding stage, you can gauge whether there is active listening going on. For a church situation, those who may be listening completely, per the basic five steps, may give an occasional head nod. They may participate by responding to a question asked or even give a verbal affirmation of agreement. On the other hand there also could what is known as the “dead” crowd. Where in this situation, the only response that a speaker may receive is an empty blank stare, not from confusion or misunderstanding even then it will prompt for a visual response. If a speaker is observing his audience he could pick up on the confused looks and begin to reiterate what was said. The “dead” crowd may be not even looking up; some may be sleeping, or even trying to maintain children while other are simply passing notes or checking their blackberry emails. In either situation, DeVito describes these behaviors as feedback, verbal and non-verbal. (DeVito, pg.
89)
In the church setting, we have a few categories that can help paint the picture of what appears to be a form of listening. I do want to state first that my observation is not fact and is merely my observation. Everyone listens in different way. The “first 10” will be the first category. During this time there appears to be largest number of active participants/listeners. As the crowd has settled, they are now listening to the greetings from the church preacher. As he opens with a common and relatable dilemma of religion, people are nodding and agreeing as if this dilemma has happened to them. There is an ice breaker that keeps the discussion from going serious too quick and then an outline of what is going to be covered. During this first 10, we have a few listening groups that begin to form. As the topic of the day has been conveyed, group one, the “veterans”, begin to make noticeable behaviors. They begin to shift a little more upright and some with a slight tilt of the head more directed towards the speaker. They appear to be glad to hear a familiar topic. It looks as if you were to tell a technical person to talk gadgets, they would perk up from being so interested in the gadgets they are experienced in and maybe eager to learn something they have never known. That is our veterans. The give off the “Amen” and the “Praise the Lord” or the hand wave in confirmation of how something said is so true to their hearts and lives. There is a permanent smile on most of their faces as if the message is enriching to their mental state.
Next, also have the “straddle-ers”. They are on the fence. They can become very excited about the message or could be distracted or turned off from the message. During the first 10 they are little harder to read. Some of these listeners are occasionally looking around but yet still giving the nods and “Amen!” that our veterans are giving. They are more laid back in the seats not as upright, not quite slouching but sitting comfortably. There are a few who are indeed appear to be intently listening, but in this group, they are taking notes as well trying to have something to refer to in case of a missed message. You can also see this group getting the Bible ready for turning and a little tidying around the seat to make sure there are no distractions later on. Same goes for children, in this group you may see a parent take his or her child over to the nursery and then return to the seat for some dedicated focus.
Then, finally, we have the seat warmers. Some of their faces state that they may not be having a day as expected. Some members of this group are coming in late during the first 10 and when they sit down they are reading the bulletin, writing out a check, checking that last email. There are many younger teenagers in this group. They usually are found in groups sitting next to each other. Some participants in this group are blatantly not paying attention; they are conducting their own conversations. Some have perfected a science of just moving their lips as their “sub-audience” reads them as if they were actually talking. There plenty of cell phone text messages going on and even a few Facebook™ updates going on. Additionally, there are some older members in this category and their behavior seems to be just as obvious but a little less rude. The older ones in this group are hanging their head down as if the stress of work the next day started a little early. They are very distracted and make very little contact with the speaker. They give off a laugh when the rest of the church laughs. They may also be compiling a self grocery note or self reminder note for when they get home.
During the next stage, the back 10, we lose a group. We lose our “straddle-ers”. They obviously at this point have either signed off or joined in with the veterans. For the most part they have joined in on the conversation. Typically they have had time to sort out their last minute distractions and during the last half of the message they are listening with all ears. The actions are still the same of the seat warmers they are still doing “their own thing” opposed to even remotely listening in on what is going on.
All in all, as these groups are defined, the breakdown is about 60% veteran, 25% straddle-ers, and 15% seat warmers. By the end of the message we have an 85 to 15% mix, therefore most of the crowd is actually “hearing” what is being said. Even much so that some come down and give witness or testimony to an event in their live that relates to the message. During the message our 85% was helping the speaker with their vocal affirmations. The more agreement he heard the more he kept delivering an enthused message to the crowd. This crowd was definitely not “just here”. DeVito also states that there are benefits to active listening and they are learning, relating, influencing, playing, and helping. (DeVito, pg. 83) During this observation there was obviously receipt of these benefits to those who were able to hear the message.
As the song is drawing a near, the church members begin to welcome the speaker, with attentive postures and ears while some parents are settling the children.
As a fundamental basic of listening, DeVito mentions that there are five fundamental steps to listening.
He believes that the process should be receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding. (DeVito, pg. 83) When this process is put into practice, usually during the responding stage, you can gauge whether there is active listening going on. For a church situation, those who may be listening completely, per the basic five steps, may give an occasional head nod. They may participate by responding to a question asked or even give a verbal affirmation of agreement. On the other hand there also could what is known as the “dead” crowd. Where in this situation, the only response that a speaker may receive is an empty blank stare, not from confusion or misunderstanding even then it will prompt for a visual response. If a speaker is observing his audience he could pick up on the confused looks and begin to reiterate what was said. The “dead” crowd may be not even looking up; some may be sleeping, or even trying to maintain children while other are simply passing notes or checking their blackberry emails. In either situation, DeVito describes these behaviors as feedback, verbal and non-verbal. (DeVito, pg.
89)
In the church setting, we have a few categories that can help paint the picture of what appears to be a form of listening. I do want to state first that my observation is not fact and is merely my observation. Everyone listens in different way. The “first 10” will be the first category. During this time there appears to be largest number of active participants/listeners. As the crowd has settled, they are now listening to the greetings from the church preacher. As he opens with a common and relatable dilemma of religion, people are nodding and agreeing as if this dilemma has happened to them. There is an ice breaker that keeps the discussion from going serious too quick and then an outline of what is going to be covered. During this first 10, we have a few listening groups that begin to form. As the topic of the day has been conveyed, group one, the “veterans”, begin to make noticeable behaviors. They begin to shift a little more upright and some with a slight tilt of the head more directed towards the speaker. They appear to be glad to hear a familiar topic. It looks as if you were to tell a technical person to talk gadgets, they would perk up from being so interested in the gadgets they are experienced in and maybe eager to learn something they have never known. That is our veterans. The give off the “Amen” and the “Praise the Lord” or the hand wave in confirmation of how something said is so true to their hearts and lives. There is a permanent smile on most of their faces as if the message is enriching to their mental state.
Next, also have the “straddle-ers”. They are on the fence. They can become very excited about the message or could be distracted or turned off from the message. During the first 10 they are little harder to read. Some of these listeners are occasionally looking around but yet still giving the nods and “Amen!” that our veterans are giving. They are more laid back in the seats not as upright, not quite slouching but sitting comfortably. There are a few who are indeed appear to be intently listening, but in this group, they are taking notes as well trying to have something to refer to in case of a missed message. You can also see this group getting the Bible ready for turning and a little tidying around the seat to make sure there are no distractions later on. Same goes for children, in this group you may see a parent take his or her child over to the nursery and then return to the seat for some dedicated focus.
Then, finally, we have the seat warmers. Some of their faces state that they may not be having a day as expected. Some members of this group are coming in late during the first 10 and when they sit down they are reading the bulletin, writing out a check, checking that last email. There are many younger teenagers in this group. They usually are found in groups sitting next to each other. Some participants in this group are blatantly not paying attention; they are conducting their own conversations. Some have perfected a science of just moving their lips as their “sub-audience” reads them as if they were actually talking. There plenty of cell phone text messages going on and even a few Facebook™ updates going on. Additionally, there are some older members in this category and their behavior seems to be just as obvious but a little less rude. The older ones in this group are hanging their head down as if the stress of work the next day started a little early. They are very distracted and make very little contact with the speaker. They give off a laugh when the rest of the church laughs. They may also be compiling a self grocery note or self reminder note for when they get home.
During the next stage, the back 10, we lose a group. We lose our “straddle-ers”. They obviously at this point have either signed off or joined in with the veterans. For the most part they have joined in on the conversation. Typically they have had time to sort out their last minute distractions and during the last half of the message they are listening with all ears. The actions are still the same of the seat warmers they are still doing “their own thing” opposed to even remotely listening in on what is going on.
All in all, as these groups are defined, the breakdown is about 60% veteran, 25% straddle-ers, and 15% seat warmers. By the end of the message we have an 85 to 15% mix, therefore most of the crowd is actually “hearing” what is being said. Even much so that some come down and give witness or testimony to an event in their live that relates to the message. During the message our 85% was helping the speaker with their vocal affirmations. The more agreement he heard the more he kept delivering an enthused message to the crowd. This crowd was definitely not “just here”. DeVito also states that there are benefits to active listening and they are learning, relating, influencing, playing, and helping. (DeVito, pg. 83) During this observation there was obviously receipt of these benefits to those who were able to hear the message.