Alice Miller's Banished Knowledge
ENGLISH 120 MID-TERM
Alice Miller explored several themes in her book Banished Knowledge. The main idea of the book is the effect of childhood trauma, such as, emotional blindness and disconnection from one's real self and feelings and the need for an enlightened witness in order to begin the healing process. In Banished Knowledge, Alice Miller states that trauma suffered in our childhood is remembered by the body and is manifested later in the abused child's adult life often in a destructive manner to the individual's soul.
In exploring childhood trauma, Alice Miller argues that a child's innate ability is to blossom; when that child's needs and desires are ignored, the only possible recourse is to repress his/her distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his/her soul, resulting in the interference with his ability to feel, to be aware and to remember. If the "parent" does not see, accept, and acknowledge the child for who he/she really is and becomes emotionally unavailable to that child, his/her soul becomes murdered'; the parent essentially creates a "walking dead" person.
According to Miller, the fact is that parents who are indifferent and incapable of showing love and warmth to their …show more content…
children are blinded by their memories of their own childhood trauma which they have repressed; this repression unconsciously perpetuates the cycle of childhood abuse. An interesting point made by Alice Miller is that the abused child will argue that the abuse, whether verbal or physical, received from the parent was for his or her own good and greater personal development. The trauma experienced in childhood is often repressed; the child unconsciously is afraid to connect with others or does not know how to make his/herself emotionally available and, therefore, the false self which was seen and accepted by the parent becomes dominant, and when that individual fails to live up to the expectations of the parent, that individual becomes depressed.
Alice Miller also spoke about disconnection and using it as a means of connecting with others. In Banished Knowledge, Miller spoke of a woman who gave birth and wanted a daughter instead of a son. The boy at the age of seven was forced to wear girls clothing and to wear his hear long as an adult he was so confused and filled with anger that he started to kill women; he felt no remorse about his actions but unconsciously knew that "female" was the source of his trauma and pain. According to Alice Miller, the killer was presumably trying to destroy the girl his mother wanted instead of him. The mother was blind sighted; she did not or could not see and accept the child for who he was; therefore, the mother used the following strategies of disconnection to connect with her son: one, the power over tactic and two, manipulation. Her actions annihilated his personhood; he committed several murders because his true self, the boy, was not seen and accepted by his mother he became, in essence, a Frankenstein monster and could only maintain his own existence by becoming a "succubus," and feeding off the life of others. The boy during the mirror stage, that is, age 2-6, was not seen and accepted by his mother; at the stage in his life when he was becoming independent, he was forced to adopt a personhood that was not his. He felt that he was not good enough and when he was not emotionally attached to his mother at age 14, he committed his first murder, killing the person his Mother had accepted instead of his own person, the boy.
The ideas of Alice Miller's book a Banished Knowledge points out that to prevent Frankenstein's in adulthood, a child must be seen, accepted and acknowledged for whom, he or she really is.
MEGAN HENRY
PROFESSOR BRADSHAW-BREYERS
ENGLISH 120
A READING OF FLANNERY O'CONNOR'S SHORT STORY: A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND THIS IS USING 3, 4, and 5 TO CORRECT ESSAY Name: Megan Henry
February 18th, 2006 1st Re-write
Class Work
Professor Bradshaw- Breyers
A Reading of Flannery O'Conner's Short Story "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."
In Flannery O'Connor's short story A Good Man Is Hard to Find, the grandmother and The Misfit are archetypical characters; thus, their names represent their symbolic roles and functions. The grandmother symbolically is the "Mother" of all narcissistically wounded children, who have been emotionally abandoned by their mothers; therefore, the Misfit is the narcissistically injured "child" of these mothers. The Misfit, like all these children, was forced to disconnect from his real feelings and self; subsequently, his real feelings were too painful to bear and he was too sad to live, because, felt he was going to die. If, he had not disconnected from his real feelings and self, he would have died from the shock of such abandonment. Disconnection, caused him to become emotionally paralyzed; unable to feel his own or others feelings, eventually, rendering him capable of killing others for fun, as he says, without blinking an eye.
On the one hand, O'Conner wants us and the grandmother to "see" The Misfit for who he really is; a sad, weak person who is in pain, so she says of him at the end of the story, "Without his glasses, The Misfit's eyes were red rimmed and pale and defenseless-looking; on the other hand, O'Connor also wants us and The Misfits to "see" the grandmother for who she really is; she has become the child she once was because she has connected with her real self and feelings; she knows at last the truth she has been avoiding her whole life and dies a happy woman; because, she says of the grandmother at the end of the story " the grandmother half sat and half lay in a puddle of blood with her legs crossed under her like a child's and her face smiling up at the cloudless
sky."
O'Conner story A Good Man Is Hard to Find attempts to portray the symbiotic mirror stage relationship of a mother and the child she has narcissistically injured. The recognition of the grandmother, in the last scene, of The Misfit as " one of my babies one of my children," telescopes The Misfit's tragic childhood and his relationship with his own abusively, manipulative parents; whom, he refers to as " the finest people in the world; God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy's heart was pure gold,' and is mirrored in he abusively manipulative relationship between he grandmother and his own son Bailey, and her grandchildren, John Wesley and June Star. Name: Megan Henry
February 18th, 2006 1st Re-write
Class Work
Professor Bradshaw - Breyers
A Reading of Flannery O'Conner's Short Story "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."
The grandmother and The Misfit in Flannery O'Connor's short story A Good Man Is Hard to Find are archetype characters, whose iconic names represent their symbolic roles and function. The grandmother symbolically is the "Mother" of all narcissistically wounded children, who have been emotionally abandoned by their mothers and the Misfit, is the narcissistically injured "child" of these mothers. The Misfit, like all these children, was forced to disconnect from his real feelings and self because his real feelings were too painful to bear, in-fact, he was too sad to live and felt he was going to die. He would have died, too, if he had not disconnected from his real feelings and self, from the shock of such abandonment. Disconnection, caused him to become emotionally paralyzed, unable to feel his own or others' feelings and rendering him capable of killing others for fun, as he says, without blinking an eye.
On the one hand, O'Connor wants us and the grandmother to "see" The Misfit for who he really is, a sad, weak person who is in pain, so she says of him at the end of the story, "Without his glasses, the Misfit's eyes were red-rimmed and pale and defenseless-looking;" on the other hand, O'Connor also wants us and The Misfit to "see" the grandmother for who she really is; she has become the child she once was because she has connected with her real self and feelings; she knows at last the truth she has been avoiding her whole life and dies a happy woman, so, she says of the grandmother at the end of the story " the grandmother half sat and half lay in a puddle of blood with her legs crossed under her like a child's and her face smiling up at the cloudless sky."
O'Connor's story A Good Man Is Hard to Find, attempts to portray the symbiotic mirror stage relationship of a mother and the child she has narcissistically injured. The recognition of the grandmother, in the last scene, of The Misfits as " one of my babies one of my children," telescopes The Misfit's tragic childhood and his relationship with his own abusively, manipulative parents; whom, he refers to as " the finest people in the world; God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy's heart was pure gold,' and is mirrored in he abusively manipulative relationship between he grandmother and his own son Bailey, and her grandchildren, John Wesley and June Star.
MEGAN HENRY
MID-TERM PAPER CORRECTIONS
PROFESSOR BRADSHAW-BREYERS
In A Good Man is Hard to Find, Flannery O'Connor used the following strategies of disconnection to show how the grandmother treats her son, Bailey, and grandchildren: one, sarcasm; two, power over tactic; three, emotional isolation; and four, refusing to talk about the relationship.
Bailey, as a child, was not accepted by his mother; she was unable to be emotionally available to him because he was not what she expected, and used the over-over tactic to get him to conform to her ideas.
Through constant sarcasm, he lost his personhood and became the wounded child.' He reached out to his mother-seeking acceptance, since she could not see' or accept' him- the real Bailey- he disconnected from his real self. The emotional abandonment caused him to become emotionally paralyzed.
The grandmother often spoke to the grandchildren sarcastically this caused the grandchildren and Bailey to feel as though their real personhood was not good enough.
The grandmother did not want to connect with her real self, she could not connect with her real self, and therefore, she could not provide the emotional availability needed by Bailey. He tried to connect with his mother to inform her that he was the Misfit' but the grandmother was self-absorbed and only thought of the things that mattered in he life. She was consumed by the lost chance to be somebody'- Mrs. Teagarden- the man she was to have married. The grandmother used power over tactics on the grandchildren and would only read for them if they conformed to her wishes and be quiet.'
The irony is she was living with the thing she feared, the Misfit,' but was unable to see him. Her emotional isolation forced him to disconnect and become a murderer to get rid of the trauma he suffered. In killing his mother, he was killing the false self, thus, allowing the true self to emerge, the Misfit.
In A Doll House, Nora's narcissistic personality renders her oblivious to others; feelings or reality in the following ways: one, she is dismissive; two, she is arrogant; three, Nora is self-absorbed; four, she uses her sexuality to get her wishes; and five she is manipulative.
Nora initially comes off as the one who is the abused victim; however, after careful examination of the story, one realizes that Nora chooses to act as an ignorant and irresponsible individual to prevent those around her from seeing the real Nora. She, disconnects from her real self, therefore, her husband and friends, does not know her, and cannot see' or accept' the real her.
On of the strategies of disconnection used by Nora is dismissive ness. In projecting herself as being rude and dismissive people, refrain from getting close to her unless it is necessary. Nora is rude and dismissive towards the banker when he comes to collect the outstanding balance on the loan. She acts as though she is above the law, and only her wishes matter.
Another strategy used by Nora is teasing and the exploitation of her sexuality. The Doctor and Torvald are at the mercies of Nora's manipulation. She teases the Doctor, and then acted alarmed when he reacted to her teasing and flirtatious behavior.
She manipulates Torvald by acting like a naïve child to get money and other gifts from him. Her false self is superficial, easily satisfied by superficial inanimate objects. The naïve Nora Torvald loves is the false Nora therefore; Torvald and the Doctor cannot offer true affection to Nora because she hides her true self. Nora does not care about others as long as those around her fulfill her wishes.
Nora through out her entire life has lived through a false identity because that is the person who was praised by her father and husband. The emotional abandonment of Nora by her parents was not be filled by her Nanny, and from and early age, Nora learns that those she sought acceptance from accepted her naivety and childish behavior; therefore, she adopted this false persona to her detriment. This circumvents her growth as an individual, later Nora found out she did not know who she really was. Nora as she presented herself did not exist.
In A Doll House, Nora used several strategies of disconnection because she was afraid to make herself emotionally available to anyone out of fear of rejection and abandonment. Her epiphany came when Torvald was seen for whom he really was, a demanding, controlling husband.
Nora in realizing who Torvald was, suddenly realized that she person she presented to everyone was not her real self, in fact she had no idea whom she was. Nora realized that she had the responsibility for her own actions and she alone can control the outcome of her life; for the first time, Nora saw herself for who she was, a person void of true emotions, confused as her reality, and presented that person to Torvald.
Similarly, the grandmother in A Good Man is Hard to Find finally saw her son for whom he really was and with that realization, she saw that he was a part of her, he was her. In the end, she allowed herself to see his imperfections-her imperfections. In looking at her son for the first time she saw the empty vessel, the true person void of emotions because she realized it was her indifference that created the angry, bitter Misfit.'
Both Nora and the Grandmother realized that adults are responsible for their actions, and they cannot continue the emotional burden of hiding the true self behind the false self, but should accept their reality.
Nora and the Grandmother were both naïve, self -absorbed, arrogant, sarcastic and emotionally distant to those close to them. Both Nora and the Grandmother were unable to make themselves available to their love ones, because they in their childhood were not seen' or accepted' for whom they were, and were not encouraged to grow with the curiosity of children but were forced to adopt a false persona that was praised by those who were authority figures in their lives. Nora and the Grandmother did not become aware of their limitations until the end of the stories and so they perpetuated the wrongs, the emotional distance and isolation experienced by them as children on their own children.
Even though the similarities of disassociation as a means of connection are similar in both Nora and the Grandmother, there are also profound differences. Nora acted naïve and used her sexuality to get her wishes met. She found it beneficial to act naively, while manipulating the men who thought they were in control of her emotionally and economically. Nora was the one who was really in control; she became a manipulative child. Nora was unable to grow from her childhood manipulations to that of a mature adult to state directly and concretely her wants. Nora was Nymph- like in character dainty in appearance but could wield her magic-manipulation and sexuality' on her unsuspecting friends.
The Grandmother on the other hand, lived in the fantasy world of what could have been and because her fantasy world enveloped her, she was unable to face reality. In her false world of imagery of being, somebody' she was unable to see her reality that she was creating a misfit, a murdered soul, who would take her life; ironically, it is at the loss of the false world, the false life that she realized the thing- she feared the most she created. Her realization came in the end and she was unable to correct her wrongs. The main difference between Norah and the Grandmother is that Nora was enlightened when she saw the real Torvald and realized she did not know herself and broke the cycle of murdering the soul of the innocent, that is, her children. She made the dramatic decision of not only the time, but as a mother to leave the children to find her true self, and was re-borne to her true self; giving her children a chance to grow into their true self. The grandmother however, got her enlightenment a few moments before her death and was unable to become enlightened witnesses for Bailey, her grandchildren, hence in her family the cycle of abuse and disassociation had an avenue to survive, and the false self will continue to survive. CORRECTIONS FOR CLASS WORK DONE ON THE 02/27/2006
Combine the following sentences three ways using methods 5.
A. A Doll House, a tragicomedy written by Henrik Ibsen at the turn of the last century, is about the stultifying effects of the traditional marriage on the minds and spirits of men and women in patriarchal hierarchical societies.
B. Henrik Ibsen, at the turn of the last century, wrote A Doll House, a tragicomedy, about the stultifying effects of traditional marriage in patriarchal hierarchical societies on the minds of men and women.
C. At the turn of the century, Henrk Ibsen, wrote A Doll House, a tragicomedy about the stultifying effects of traditional marriage on the minds and spirits of women in patriarchal societies.
D. Torvald Hilmer is an Every (married) man figure who seems to believe that his intelligence and competence are superior of that of his wife, therefore he acts accordingly. Conversely, Nora is an Every (married) woman figure and believe she must act as though her intelligence and competence are inferior to that of her husband. Even so, she also acts accordingly, having to act as a child secretly angers Nora, who cannot justify her anger; therefore she has mixed feelings toward Torvald, which does not benefit their marriage or relationship.
Alice Miller explored several themes in her book Banished Knowledge. The main idea of the book is the effect of childhood trauma, such as, emotional blindness and disconnection from one's real self and feelings and the need for an enlightened witness in order to begin the healing process. In Banished Knowledge, Alice Miller states that trauma suffered in our childhood is remembered by the body and is manifested later in the abused child's adult life often in a destructive manner to the individual's soul.
In exploring childhood trauma, Alice Miller argues that a child's innate ability is to blossom; when that child's needs and desires are ignored, the only possible recourse is to repress his/her distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his/her soul, resulting in the interference with his ability to feel, to be aware and to remember. If the "parent" does not see, accept, and acknowledge the child for who he/she really is and becomes emotionally unavailable to that child, his/her soul becomes murdered'; the parent essentially creates a "walking dead" person.
According to Miller, the fact is that parents who are indifferent and incapable of showing love and warmth to their …show more content…
children are blinded by their memories of their own childhood trauma which they have repressed; this repression unconsciously perpetuates the cycle of childhood abuse. An interesting point made by Alice Miller is that the abused child will argue that the abuse, whether verbal or physical, received from the parent was for his or her own good and greater personal development. The trauma experienced in childhood is often repressed; the child unconsciously is afraid to connect with others or does not know how to make his/herself emotionally available and, therefore, the false self which was seen and accepted by the parent becomes dominant, and when that individual fails to live up to the expectations of the parent, that individual becomes depressed.
Alice Miller also spoke about disconnection and using it as a means of connecting with others. In Banished Knowledge, Miller spoke of a woman who gave birth and wanted a daughter instead of a son. The boy at the age of seven was forced to wear girls clothing and to wear his hear long as an adult he was so confused and filled with anger that he started to kill women; he felt no remorse about his actions but unconsciously knew that "female" was the source of his trauma and pain. According to Alice Miller, the killer was presumably trying to destroy the girl his mother wanted instead of him. The mother was blind sighted; she did not or could not see and accept the child for who he was; therefore, the mother used the following strategies of disconnection to connect with her son: one, the power over tactic and two, manipulation. Her actions annihilated his personhood; he committed several murders because his true self, the boy, was not seen and accepted by his mother he became, in essence, a Frankenstein monster and could only maintain his own existence by becoming a "succubus," and feeding off the life of others. The boy during the mirror stage, that is, age 2-6, was not seen and accepted by his mother; at the stage in his life when he was becoming independent, he was forced to adopt a personhood that was not his. He felt that he was not good enough and when he was not emotionally attached to his mother at age 14, he committed his first murder, killing the person his Mother had accepted instead of his own person, the boy.
The ideas of Alice Miller's book a Banished Knowledge points out that to prevent Frankenstein's in adulthood, a child must be seen, accepted and acknowledged for whom, he or she really is.
MEGAN HENRY
PROFESSOR BRADSHAW-BREYERS
ENGLISH 120
A READING OF FLANNERY O'CONNOR'S SHORT STORY: A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND THIS IS USING 3, 4, and 5 TO CORRECT ESSAY Name: Megan Henry
February 18th, 2006 1st Re-write
Class Work
Professor Bradshaw- Breyers
A Reading of Flannery O'Conner's Short Story "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."
In Flannery O'Connor's short story A Good Man Is Hard to Find, the grandmother and The Misfit are archetypical characters; thus, their names represent their symbolic roles and functions. The grandmother symbolically is the "Mother" of all narcissistically wounded children, who have been emotionally abandoned by their mothers; therefore, the Misfit is the narcissistically injured "child" of these mothers. The Misfit, like all these children, was forced to disconnect from his real feelings and self; subsequently, his real feelings were too painful to bear and he was too sad to live, because, felt he was going to die. If, he had not disconnected from his real feelings and self, he would have died from the shock of such abandonment. Disconnection, caused him to become emotionally paralyzed; unable to feel his own or others feelings, eventually, rendering him capable of killing others for fun, as he says, without blinking an eye.
On the one hand, O'Conner wants us and the grandmother to "see" The Misfit for who he really is; a sad, weak person who is in pain, so she says of him at the end of the story, "Without his glasses, The Misfit's eyes were red rimmed and pale and defenseless-looking; on the other hand, O'Connor also wants us and The Misfits to "see" the grandmother for who she really is; she has become the child she once was because she has connected with her real self and feelings; she knows at last the truth she has been avoiding her whole life and dies a happy woman; because, she says of the grandmother at the end of the story " the grandmother half sat and half lay in a puddle of blood with her legs crossed under her like a child's and her face smiling up at the cloudless
sky."
O'Conner story A Good Man Is Hard to Find attempts to portray the symbiotic mirror stage relationship of a mother and the child she has narcissistically injured. The recognition of the grandmother, in the last scene, of The Misfit as " one of my babies one of my children," telescopes The Misfit's tragic childhood and his relationship with his own abusively, manipulative parents; whom, he refers to as " the finest people in the world; God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy's heart was pure gold,' and is mirrored in he abusively manipulative relationship between he grandmother and his own son Bailey, and her grandchildren, John Wesley and June Star. Name: Megan Henry
February 18th, 2006 1st Re-write
Class Work
Professor Bradshaw - Breyers
A Reading of Flannery O'Conner's Short Story "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."
The grandmother and The Misfit in Flannery O'Connor's short story A Good Man Is Hard to Find are archetype characters, whose iconic names represent their symbolic roles and function. The grandmother symbolically is the "Mother" of all narcissistically wounded children, who have been emotionally abandoned by their mothers and the Misfit, is the narcissistically injured "child" of these mothers. The Misfit, like all these children, was forced to disconnect from his real feelings and self because his real feelings were too painful to bear, in-fact, he was too sad to live and felt he was going to die. He would have died, too, if he had not disconnected from his real feelings and self, from the shock of such abandonment. Disconnection, caused him to become emotionally paralyzed, unable to feel his own or others' feelings and rendering him capable of killing others for fun, as he says, without blinking an eye.
On the one hand, O'Connor wants us and the grandmother to "see" The Misfit for who he really is, a sad, weak person who is in pain, so she says of him at the end of the story, "Without his glasses, the Misfit's eyes were red-rimmed and pale and defenseless-looking;" on the other hand, O'Connor also wants us and The Misfit to "see" the grandmother for who she really is; she has become the child she once was because she has connected with her real self and feelings; she knows at last the truth she has been avoiding her whole life and dies a happy woman, so, she says of the grandmother at the end of the story " the grandmother half sat and half lay in a puddle of blood with her legs crossed under her like a child's and her face smiling up at the cloudless sky."
O'Connor's story A Good Man Is Hard to Find, attempts to portray the symbiotic mirror stage relationship of a mother and the child she has narcissistically injured. The recognition of the grandmother, in the last scene, of The Misfits as " one of my babies one of my children," telescopes The Misfit's tragic childhood and his relationship with his own abusively, manipulative parents; whom, he refers to as " the finest people in the world; God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy's heart was pure gold,' and is mirrored in he abusively manipulative relationship between he grandmother and his own son Bailey, and her grandchildren, John Wesley and June Star.
MEGAN HENRY
MID-TERM PAPER CORRECTIONS
PROFESSOR BRADSHAW-BREYERS
In A Good Man is Hard to Find, Flannery O'Connor used the following strategies of disconnection to show how the grandmother treats her son, Bailey, and grandchildren: one, sarcasm; two, power over tactic; three, emotional isolation; and four, refusing to talk about the relationship.
Bailey, as a child, was not accepted by his mother; she was unable to be emotionally available to him because he was not what she expected, and used the over-over tactic to get him to conform to her ideas.
Through constant sarcasm, he lost his personhood and became the wounded child.' He reached out to his mother-seeking acceptance, since she could not see' or accept' him- the real Bailey- he disconnected from his real self. The emotional abandonment caused him to become emotionally paralyzed.
The grandmother often spoke to the grandchildren sarcastically this caused the grandchildren and Bailey to feel as though their real personhood was not good enough.
The grandmother did not want to connect with her real self, she could not connect with her real self, and therefore, she could not provide the emotional availability needed by Bailey. He tried to connect with his mother to inform her that he was the Misfit' but the grandmother was self-absorbed and only thought of the things that mattered in he life. She was consumed by the lost chance to be somebody'- Mrs. Teagarden- the man she was to have married. The grandmother used power over tactics on the grandchildren and would only read for them if they conformed to her wishes and be quiet.'
The irony is she was living with the thing she feared, the Misfit,' but was unable to see him. Her emotional isolation forced him to disconnect and become a murderer to get rid of the trauma he suffered. In killing his mother, he was killing the false self, thus, allowing the true self to emerge, the Misfit.
In A Doll House, Nora's narcissistic personality renders her oblivious to others; feelings or reality in the following ways: one, she is dismissive; two, she is arrogant; three, Nora is self-absorbed; four, she uses her sexuality to get her wishes; and five she is manipulative.
Nora initially comes off as the one who is the abused victim; however, after careful examination of the story, one realizes that Nora chooses to act as an ignorant and irresponsible individual to prevent those around her from seeing the real Nora. She, disconnects from her real self, therefore, her husband and friends, does not know her, and cannot see' or accept' the real her.
On of the strategies of disconnection used by Nora is dismissive ness. In projecting herself as being rude and dismissive people, refrain from getting close to her unless it is necessary. Nora is rude and dismissive towards the banker when he comes to collect the outstanding balance on the loan. She acts as though she is above the law, and only her wishes matter.
Another strategy used by Nora is teasing and the exploitation of her sexuality. The Doctor and Torvald are at the mercies of Nora's manipulation. She teases the Doctor, and then acted alarmed when he reacted to her teasing and flirtatious behavior.
She manipulates Torvald by acting like a naïve child to get money and other gifts from him. Her false self is superficial, easily satisfied by superficial inanimate objects. The naïve Nora Torvald loves is the false Nora therefore; Torvald and the Doctor cannot offer true affection to Nora because she hides her true self. Nora does not care about others as long as those around her fulfill her wishes.
Nora through out her entire life has lived through a false identity because that is the person who was praised by her father and husband. The emotional abandonment of Nora by her parents was not be filled by her Nanny, and from and early age, Nora learns that those she sought acceptance from accepted her naivety and childish behavior; therefore, she adopted this false persona to her detriment. This circumvents her growth as an individual, later Nora found out she did not know who she really was. Nora as she presented herself did not exist.
In A Doll House, Nora used several strategies of disconnection because she was afraid to make herself emotionally available to anyone out of fear of rejection and abandonment. Her epiphany came when Torvald was seen for whom he really was, a demanding, controlling husband.
Nora in realizing who Torvald was, suddenly realized that she person she presented to everyone was not her real self, in fact she had no idea whom she was. Nora realized that she had the responsibility for her own actions and she alone can control the outcome of her life; for the first time, Nora saw herself for who she was, a person void of true emotions, confused as her reality, and presented that person to Torvald.
Similarly, the grandmother in A Good Man is Hard to Find finally saw her son for whom he really was and with that realization, she saw that he was a part of her, he was her. In the end, she allowed herself to see his imperfections-her imperfections. In looking at her son for the first time she saw the empty vessel, the true person void of emotions because she realized it was her indifference that created the angry, bitter Misfit.'
Both Nora and the Grandmother realized that adults are responsible for their actions, and they cannot continue the emotional burden of hiding the true self behind the false self, but should accept their reality.
Nora and the Grandmother were both naïve, self -absorbed, arrogant, sarcastic and emotionally distant to those close to them. Both Nora and the Grandmother were unable to make themselves available to their love ones, because they in their childhood were not seen' or accepted' for whom they were, and were not encouraged to grow with the curiosity of children but were forced to adopt a false persona that was praised by those who were authority figures in their lives. Nora and the Grandmother did not become aware of their limitations until the end of the stories and so they perpetuated the wrongs, the emotional distance and isolation experienced by them as children on their own children.
Even though the similarities of disassociation as a means of connection are similar in both Nora and the Grandmother, there are also profound differences. Nora acted naïve and used her sexuality to get her wishes met. She found it beneficial to act naively, while manipulating the men who thought they were in control of her emotionally and economically. Nora was the one who was really in control; she became a manipulative child. Nora was unable to grow from her childhood manipulations to that of a mature adult to state directly and concretely her wants. Nora was Nymph- like in character dainty in appearance but could wield her magic-manipulation and sexuality' on her unsuspecting friends.
The Grandmother on the other hand, lived in the fantasy world of what could have been and because her fantasy world enveloped her, she was unable to face reality. In her false world of imagery of being, somebody' she was unable to see her reality that she was creating a misfit, a murdered soul, who would take her life; ironically, it is at the loss of the false world, the false life that she realized the thing- she feared the most she created. Her realization came in the end and she was unable to correct her wrongs. The main difference between Norah and the Grandmother is that Nora was enlightened when she saw the real Torvald and realized she did not know herself and broke the cycle of murdering the soul of the innocent, that is, her children. She made the dramatic decision of not only the time, but as a mother to leave the children to find her true self, and was re-borne to her true self; giving her children a chance to grow into their true self. The grandmother however, got her enlightenment a few moments before her death and was unable to become enlightened witnesses for Bailey, her grandchildren, hence in her family the cycle of abuse and disassociation had an avenue to survive, and the false self will continue to survive. CORRECTIONS FOR CLASS WORK DONE ON THE 02/27/2006
Combine the following sentences three ways using methods 5.
A. A Doll House, a tragicomedy written by Henrik Ibsen at the turn of the last century, is about the stultifying effects of the traditional marriage on the minds and spirits of men and women in patriarchal hierarchical societies.
B. Henrik Ibsen, at the turn of the last century, wrote A Doll House, a tragicomedy, about the stultifying effects of traditional marriage in patriarchal hierarchical societies on the minds of men and women.
C. At the turn of the century, Henrk Ibsen, wrote A Doll House, a tragicomedy about the stultifying effects of traditional marriage on the minds and spirits of women in patriarchal societies.
D. Torvald Hilmer is an Every (married) man figure who seems to believe that his intelligence and competence are superior of that of his wife, therefore he acts accordingly. Conversely, Nora is an Every (married) woman figure and believe she must act as though her intelligence and competence are inferior to that of her husband. Even so, she also acts accordingly, having to act as a child secretly angers Nora, who cannot justify her anger; therefore she has mixed feelings toward Torvald, which does not benefit their marriage or relationship.