Anne Dillard's Seeing Analysis

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Being and Becoming
Mr. Dalton
Freshman English Honors A4
Caasi Smuin-Young
The most commonly used definition of the word change is to make or become different.
A constant synonym used for the word change is transformation. A transformation is sometimes called a seemingly miraculous change. It is my belief that miraculous changes occur around us every day. Sometimes we look upon change as so common, it sometimes goes unnoticed. Other times, we find that it directly influences us. Change is so involved in our lives that it almost defeats description. Our lives are change. As we live our lives, we make constant decisions. We decide to move our hair out of our face. We decide to put on the red shoes instead of the blue. But no matter how
large or small the decision, we are then faced with the familiar consequences.
Every action has a consequence. But is every consequence related to an action? For example, in Cather’s Paul's case, Paul jumps in front of a train. “When the right moment came, he jumped… He felt something strike his chest…” (Cathers 11). His action resulted with Paul being hit by the train, causing his death.
Consequences of an action, beyond the action itself, do not have to be actual outcomes. For a moment, pretend that I said to you that I will bake a batch of delicious chocolate chip cookies if you win a coin toss. You are now deciding whether to toss the coin or just walk away. Eventually, not being able to resist the thought of chocolate chip cookies, you decide to toss the coin. You win, and I bake the amazingly delicious chocolate chip cookies which you then enjoy. Was the batch of cookies a consequence of your action of

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tossing the coin? It was not. For you could have tossed the coin in many slightly different ways, and in many slightly different positions. Your intentional action was to toss the coin, not to toss the coin in the precise manner and position in which you ended up tossing it. But it was the only probabilities of outcomes.
In every situation, precise manner and position that made you win. If you had changed the way you tossed the coin, I might not have made the amazing cookies. When this fact is pondered, you begin to think that most consequences of most actions that you decide on are similar to that: not actual outcomes, but we are given a choice. That choice can change us. That choice can influence our actions and the consequences that follow.
Many times, it is not clear whether the consequence is a probable one or certain. In Anne Dillard’s Seeing, she states “I see only tatters of clearness through a pervading obscurity.” (3). In this sense, pervade means to be spread through and perceived in every part while obscurity means the state of being unknown. Sometimes we can pervade every unknown, but most often, we can only become aware. The practice of awareness meditation is common to all Buddhist traditions. Beyond that, it is common to all human beings. In meditation we are continuously discovering who and what we are. The point of meditation is to become aware.
Becoming aware is not the same as Becoming. If you are to become aware of something, you are only perceptive to the situation. If you are to Become, you are the situation.
“The author is regarded as the father and the owner of his work… In his Text he [Author] can only do so as a “guest”.” (Barthes 3). This relates to becoming aware and Becoming. When we
Become we are the owners of the situation. When we are aware, we are a “guest”. Robin Craig

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Clark said “You are pure awareness at the center, human in appearance.” What we appear
to be is different than what we are.
This brings me to a note that I made while I was deep in thought. I wrote “We are all the same.” I do not know what was going through my mind when I wrote that because when I reread it my immediate thought was “But we are all different!” As I have pondered more deeply about that thought, I have come to realize, that these contradictory statements are both true. If you were to pick up a new copy of your favorite book and look at the author’s name, it will cross your mind that this person is exactly like you. You may not realize that this thought crosses your mind but that author is classified as a human, a homo sapiens, just like you are. In that form, you are exactly the same.
But in every other way you are completely different; physically, mentally, and socially. It is every thought that we have that helps distinct us from each other. We are each also physically different from everyone. No one has your exact same face shape along with your facial features and body shape because everyone has different genetic codes. The mental differences between each individual cannot be counted. Our minds are the most unique organs in our bodies. It is unlikely that two people would share every relationship. Not everyone thinks of you as a friend. You probably don’t think of your dad the way your brother might. Everything about everyone makes everyone different from everything.
The point that I am trying to explain is that what we appear to be, is very different than what we are. For example, in the thirty eight surviving Shakespeare plays, about one fifth of them involve cross-dressing. In the comedic play Two Gentlemen of Verona, the character Julia

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dresses as a man to visit her lover. When people looked at her, they saw the appearance of a man physically, although their assumption was incorrect.
She appeared to be a man, but we know she was different than her appearance. Even though we are aware of her gender identity, we do cannot completely comprehend her personal and social identity.
Social identity is defined as the portion of an individual's self-concept obtained from perceived membership in a social group. These memberships are often composed of feelings and commitments. The concept you develop about yourself that evolves over the course of your life is also known as personal identity. This includes parts of your life that you have no control over, such as where you grew up or the color of your skin, as well as choices you make in life, such as how what you wear and what you believe.
Just as we are defined as different by our physical and mental features, we are also diverse because of our identities. We all have different feelings about different things, and that determines our social identity. No one has the exact social identity as we do. Another thing that differs us from others is our personal identity; the way we walk, look, speak. Each personal thing differs us and helps distinct us from everyone else.
It is impossible to Become something, only to become aware. But the only way
to become aware, is to learn how to Become. If you are a teacher, you cannot teach a subject if you do now know it. Therefore, to be able to teach, you must first learn. When you intend on learning the subject, you want to learn as much as possible about it. Although it is impossible to know everything about one thing, we still strive to learn. But how do we learn to Become if it is impossible? Smuin 5

“The power and capacity of learning exists in the soul already;” (Plato 3). We are not taught the lesson on how to Become. We do not know how to Become the surroundings or situation. But the knowledge exists inside of us, which means we are capable of Becoming aware. That is the knowledge we must search for.
The mystic Meister Eckhart once said
“All creatures are pure nothingness.” Pure Being or Becoming and Nothing are perfect opposites. We cannot physically Become anything. We cannot socially Become anything. Therefore, the only way to Become is to do it mentally.
“What
I encounter is neither the soul of a tree nor a dryad, but the tree itself.” (Buber 1). In Buber’s excerpt, he explains relationships throughout existence. He states how 2 or more concepts are connected and can Become one.
Our senses help us to begin to learn how to Become. As Buber said “I perceive something. I feel something. I imagine something. I want something. I sense something. I think something.” (2). The ability to perceive things is the only way to become more than aware.
We
must realize and understand who we are, and who we wish to Become. We must feel both the inside and the outside of ourselves to begin to understand. The word feel can be defined in two ways; to be aware of sensations involving perception by touch and/or an affection state of consciousness involving emotion. Feeling is more physical while imagining something is more mental. To imagine something is to form new ideas, or images of external objects not present to the senses. Your imagination is your creative power. While in the lunch room last year, I was seated at a table with a few of my friends. As we sat down, I made sure to save a seat for my friend Talia. When she came to sit down, I said “Hey Talia!”. My friends then all looked at me in confusion. They asked “Who’s Talia?”. Upset, I said “Talia, my best friend?!” With more

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confused looks, I began shouting things about her. They continued to deny her existence. What did not help is that Talia sat quiet. I realized then that my imagination could have made up everyone at that table. I could’ve made up my friends, my family, and my peers. Our imaginations are powerful. Want is to desire to possess or do. It is a natural human emotion to want or desire. To Become is also a natural want that we possess, we just do not understand it fully. The word sense can be thought of in two ways; to perceive by a sense (see, feel, touch, smell, and hear) or to feel something. We use the combination of our imagination and our senses to think. When we think, we use one's mind actively to form connected ideas. One remarkable thing is that every word in Buber’s quote, is used in the definition of another. Every word is the use of another. These words are all connected and they are all natural to any living organism. We do perceive. We do feel. We also imagine, want, sense, and think. Those are the six essentials needed to Become aware.
“What you see is what you get.” (Dillard 1). But is it? When we see a tree, we get a tree.
When we see a bird, we get a bird. Dillard goes on to say “Now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t.” (1).
When a bird flies in front of you, you see the bird. When that same bird flies behind a building, you don’t see it anymore. After the bird flies behind the building, “now-you-don’t-see-it, now-you-do.” (1).The bird appears to you again. All of these statements define relationships.
These are all relationships where we use our eyes. Our senses become the main definition or tool in the relationship. All of these statements include the word see. Without our sight, we would not be able to see things the way we do. We would not be able to see at all. But what we see may not always be what we get.

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If I was walking down a busy street on a cloudy and cold day, it is likely I would see people around me. They would shuffle to and fro worrying about their lives. But perhaps all I can see is fog. Maybe I cannot see the people around me. As the fog lifts, I realize that there was never fog, but a gray blanket that was laid across me. What I saw, was not exactly what I got. Not all that we comprehend is through our eyes.
When we are becoming aware of our surroundings, our situation, and ourselves, we do not use our eyes. We cannot see ourselves. Only the reflection of our face has ever been seen to us.
“And that is that it changes as the light changes.” (Gilman 6). We must change the way we sense things by not using our eyes, but our imagination.
This can be applied to our lives as we bustle around the busy streets. “Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life?” (Where I lived and what I lived for 5). We can live our lives as we please. Our every action can influence someone’s day. One small act can change another’s life. Perhaps the consequence of baking cookies is not the actual outcome of a coin toss. The actual outcome, is heads or tails. Up or down. Left or right.
What we appear to be is different than what or who we are. We are what we create ourselves to be. We are what we have already become aware to. The more we open ourselves up to the option of Becoming, we Become greater.
“I always fancy I see people walking in these numerous paths…” (Gilman 3). In the numerous paths through our lives, people will walk. Some people will stomp over your path while another may plant a flower in the neighboring path. Some paths will cross, and some will never meet. But our destination is already built. At intersections, we can switch paths, but the outcome is still controlled.

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“There is nothing I must not see in order to see.” (Buber 1). We must see with our minds, not our eyes. We can open up to those around us. As we become aware, we can eternalize and purify our relationships.
Iain Pears said “[T]he concern of man is not his future but his present, not the world but his soul. We must be just, we must strive, we must engage ourselves with the business of the world for our own sake, because through that, and through contemplation in equal measure, our soul is purified and brought closer to the divine. ... Thought and deed conjoined are crucial.
... The attempt must be made; the outcome is irrelevant. Right action is a pale material reflection of the divine, but reflection it is, nonetheless.” As we Become, we are the world. We are Its problems and troubles. We are Its beauty and nature. We are what we Become.
(Capital Become, Nothing, Its.)