Theory Critique: Cloud and Townsend
Sam and Diane have been married for a few years now and, everything was so perfect in the beginning. There was nothing but plenty of love and romance. Even still, Sam had become more and more demanding of his wife until at a certain point he began demanding robotic perfection of his spouse. It took a few years, but Diane became more and more fed up. She became more and more hypersensitive and hyper-vigilant to anything that Sam said to her so that now, even the slightest criticism would enrage her against Sam which would cause her to remain angered for 24 hours at a time. However, she could not help herself. Her nerves were at their end and did not know any other way to react. Boundaries in Sam and Diane’s marriage were broken. Sam had broken the boundaries of freedom, responsibility, and love (Cloud & Townsend, 1999). Sam had not allowed Diane the freedom of being a human being, treated Diane irresponsibly, and helped in squashing their love. However, Diane, by her actions, had violated the boundary of “self-control” (p.28). If only she had said something like, “If you cannot treat me kindly and as a human being, I will leave the room.” And so, an example of how one spouse can purposely break boundaries and the other inadvertently breaks them. Thus, love is the first ingredient of a marriage, but understanding boundaries in marriage can help keep a marriage intact.
A Short Summary
Cloud and Townsend, (1999) in their book set about to essentially do two things. First, to simply explain the boundaries in marriage by doing so in Part I, “Understanding Boundaries,” which defines boundaries and helps the understand how to set them. Part II, “Building Boundaries in Marriage,” which helps couples in the process of becoming one flesh and setting up boundaries against outside intruders and influences. Part III, “Resolving Conflicts in Marriage,” helps the reader understand the six kinds
References: Cloud, H., & Townsend, J., (1999). Boundaries in marriage: Understanding the choices that make or break loving relationships. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. Wilson, S.D., (2001). Hurt people hurt people: Hope and healing for yourself and your relationships. Urichsville, OH: Discovery House