Brenden Monologue

Hi Victoria, this is Brenden, Sydney's old boyfriend. I think we only met once at our old apartment, so I hope this isn't too weird. I just know that you two are close. Sometimes we have thoughts that won't leave our heads, so we write them down on paper, in a journal or a blog. Sometimes that doesn't cut it, though, and we want to send those words directly to the source, ya know? I'd rather not send this to her, especially right before Christmas. Hell, I shouldn't even be sending this to you, but I suppose I can't help it.

She's been on my mind a lot lately. Not to act like I'm some baller, but I've been involved with some criminally attractive and intelligent women since our time together. But in my head, it always comes back to her. She
captivates me more than anyone else I've come across. I'll never forget the first time I saw her. The most immediate, impulsive, magnetic attraction I've experienced thus far in life. I just had to get to know this girl. Of course, I was a terrible partner to her. I was just a naive kid and I had let mental illness consume my brain. I had let my life stagnate, I was an asshole and I never did anything for her, whereas she did everything for me. I never loved her the way I sometimes envision in my head - the way I know I'm capable of now. I've put in a tremendous amount of effort to grow, evolve and get things moving. I suppose that's what' gets me down a bit - the fact that she'll never know me as an adult, unafraid of this world and eager to make something of myself.

Anyhow, I'm not fishing for a response, I'm not trying to weasel my way back into her life, nothing like that. I simply wanted someone close to her to know that as long as I am alive she will be loved dearly. She's had a profound effect on my mind and the art I create.