Business Communication: Reviewing and Revising an e-Mail
Lab Document A
Analyze the following poorly written and poorly organized e-mail. Look for specific weaknesses that we have talked about in class, including wordiness and format problems. Revise it using 1-inch margins. Use your name as the sender, and add appropriate contact information for yourself. Don’t forget the subject line. Please remove these instructions and the title above.
To: Michael Moraga <michael.moraga@media.com> From: Your Name <your.name@media.com>
Subject: My Report Cc: Bcc:
Michael,
This is in response to your request that I attend the Workplace Issues and tell you about it. As you know, I attended the Workplace Issues conference on November 3, as you suggested. The topic was how to prevent workplace violence, and I found it very fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious incidents at our company, it's better to be safe than sorry. Because I was the representative from our company and you asked for a report, here it is. Kit Adkins was the presenter, and she made suggestions in three categories, which I will summarize here.
Ms. Atkins cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise companies do not offer employment until after a candidate's background has been checked. Just the mention of a background check is enough to make some candidates withdraw. These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide.
A second suggestion was that companies should prepare a good employee handbook that outlines what employees should do when they suspect potential workplace violence. This handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous. A third recommendation had to do with recognizing red-flag behavior. This involves having companies train managers to recognize signs of potential workplace violence. What are some of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with coworkers. Another sign is extreme changes in
Analyze the following poorly written and poorly organized e-mail. Look for specific weaknesses that we have talked about in class, including wordiness and format problems. Revise it using 1-inch margins. Use your name as the sender, and add appropriate contact information for yourself. Don’t forget the subject line. Please remove these instructions and the title above.
To: Michael Moraga <michael.moraga@media.com> From: Your Name <your.name@media.com>
Subject: My Report Cc: Bcc:
Michael,
This is in response to your request that I attend the Workplace Issues and tell you about it. As you know, I attended the Workplace Issues conference on November 3, as you suggested. The topic was how to prevent workplace violence, and I found it very fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious incidents at our company, it's better to be safe than sorry. Because I was the representative from our company and you asked for a report, here it is. Kit Adkins was the presenter, and she made suggestions in three categories, which I will summarize here.
Ms. Atkins cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise companies do not offer employment until after a candidate's background has been checked. Just the mention of a background check is enough to make some candidates withdraw. These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide.
A second suggestion was that companies should prepare a good employee handbook that outlines what employees should do when they suspect potential workplace violence. This handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous. A third recommendation had to do with recognizing red-flag behavior. This involves having companies train managers to recognize signs of potential workplace violence. What are some of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with coworkers. Another sign is extreme changes in