Chapter 6 - 9 Study Guide

Chapter 6:
-Why we form relationships?
Appearance
Similarity - People who have the same interests, personality traits, mutual friends, etc.
Complementarily - When a partner’s differences strengthen a relationship, and satisfies the others needs.
Reciprocal Attraction – We are attracted to people who like us –usually. Rather than people who attack/ indifferent.
Competence – We tend to be attracted to people who are good at what they’re at, but admit their flaws.
Disclosure – Revealing important information about your self can build liking. Proximity – We are close to people who are near us rather than people who are distant.
Rewards – Based on the Social Exchange Theory: We often seek people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.

-Stages in Interpersonal Relationships?
Initiating – The stage of making initial contact with another person. This is where you formulate first impressions.
Experimenting – Conversation develops as people get acquainted by making small talk. It’s a useful process for deeper conversations, auditions possible friendships, maintain a sense of community.)
Intensifying – Feelings between one another become more common. Expressing more feelings directly. More communication is shared between another.
Integrating – As relationship strengthens, the parties begin to take on an indemnity as a social unit (relationship). Becomes ‘our’ rather than ‘mine’. Characteristics begin to rub on each other.
Bonding – Begin to spend more time with each other. Examples would be romantic relationships and wedding ceremonies, legal ties to each other.
Differentiating – Two people who found commonality need to re-define their individual identities.
Circumscribing – Communication between another decreases in quantities, both parties start to withdrawal mentally or physically together. Shrinking of interests and commitments.
Stagnating – No growth occurs when partaking in activities with another. No feelings anymore.
Avoiding – When the relationship becomes to unpleasant, they begin to separate away from each other. Use excuses.
Termination – Disassociation of relationship. It’s over.

-Self Disclosure : The process of deliberately revealing information about one’s self that is significant and that would not be known to others. Mistakenly mentioning something or something trivial does not count in this category. MUST BE SOMETHING PERSON/OF VALUE + Must be Intentional for it to be SELF-DISCLOSURE.
Social penetration model – Looks like a radar circle. The outer parts of the circle, or BREADTH, represent the shallowness of your disclosed information. It shows how far you will go in disclosing information to anyone in general. However there is Depth, which is the level of how much disclosure you’re willing to give the people around you. Depending on your BREADTH and DEPTH of the information shared, relationships can be defined as casual or intimate.
Johari’s Window – A Model that represents the how self-disclosure operates, and how a person might disclose its self personally and with others. There are 4 areas.
The Open area: The Area that you and the other person know about you.
The Blind Area: The area where the other person knows about you, but you don’t know about yourself.
The Hidden Area: The area where you know about yourself but others don’t know about you.
The Unknown Area: The area where others and yourself don’t know about yourself.

-Guidelines to Self-Disclosure:
Is the other person Important to you? Risk of disclosure reasonable? Amount and type of disclosure appropriate? Is it relevant to the situation, and can you be reciprocated? Will be constructive and grow from it? And is it clear and understandable?
-Lies:
Altruistic Lies – White lies. Harmless or helpful lies a person tells. Either to acquire resources, avoid conflict, initiate and continue interactions, or increase social desirability.
Equivocation – A statement that has two or more plausible meanings. What you say all depends when you consider the alternatives. It might be okay to lie or give an alternative to not hurt the persons feelings when you are presented with a choice to speak out. It’s easier to give out, doesn’t hurt the person when told the honest truth, and there is somewhat no guilt when saying it.

Chapter 7
Communication Climate: The Emotional tone of the relationships. How they feel about the relationships rather than the tasks they perform together. We could see relationships as positive if they value our views, or negative when they don’t appreciate us.
Confirming responses – Messages that show you are valued. These can be shown as Recognition – recognizing the other persons efforts, achievements, ides; Acknowledgement – being interested, listening to other persons feelings and ideas; Endorsement – Agreement of the other persons ideas and views.
Communication climates begin starting to develop right when they start to communicate. If messages are confirming, then they start being positive, whereas if messages are negative, they start to become negative. Later messages take a life of their own becoming Spirals in which there is a pattern of communication, they being to start reinforcing each other positively or negatively. Escalatory conflict – They attack each other until a battle ensues; or de-escalatory conflict spirals in which both parties lessen their dependability on each other, thus seizing a stop in the relationship.
Gibb Categories: The usage of supportive communication in contrast of destructive communication in categories.
Evaluation versus Description: Instead of using “YOU” in context of attacking the individuals flaws, using the word “I” in context of yourself brings a more calming and less attack-filled message. “When you’re too loud, I can’t think” in contrast to “You’re too loud! Shut up!”
Control versus Problem Orientation: Controlling Messages are when the sender seems to be opposing a solution to the receiver without regard to the receivers needs or interests. However Problem Orientation is when both parties come together to work on a problem that satisfies both of their personal needs.
Neutrality versus Empathy: A person could show Neutrality to the situation and feel indifferent/ not care. In contrast to Empathy which shows you have an interest in the person’s feelings, and accepting them, then putting yourself in their situation, to find understanding between each other.
Superiority versus Equality – Superiority creates a defensive climate. When people believe they are better then one another, a defensive response is likely. However in reality when you do have superior traits and skills, we’re all capable of showing Equality. Even though a person might have greater talents, they see others having just as much worth as human beings.
Conflict: Expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and indifference from the other parties in achieving their goals. –Joyce Hocker & William Wilmot
Conflict is influenced by Gender – Through children, boys tend to be more demanding without giving much explanation whereas women tend to have conflicts and disagreements, but rather handle it via indirect aggression, excluding others from peer groups, and complaining to others. This may change in adulthood where women might be more comfortable stating their opinions more aggressively where as men will withdrawal from situation that seems to be uncomfortable.
Cultural influences on Conflict – Western American/Euro influenced Rational method of approach can conflict on traditional mediating, calm and non-rationalist methods. Direct and literal can conflict with self-restraint and avoidance of confrontation.
Method of Conflict Resolution: ( Know Non-Assertive / Assertive/ and Aggressive )
Win-Lose – When one party achieves its goal at the expense of the other. “Either or.”
Loose-Loose – When both parties strive to be winners, but they both end up losing. Both parties will crash and bash each other down so no one wins.
Compromise – Both parties sacrifice goals so that they will both get some of what they wanted.
Win-Win – The goal that is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of both parties. Instead of winning at the others expense, they both help each other and cooperate to find a solution that allows both sides to reach goals.
To Win-Win:
Identify your problem and unmet needs, make a date when both parties are ready, describe your problem and needs, partner checks back, solicit partner’s needs, check your understandings of partners needs, negotiate a solution and choose one, then follow up on the solution.
Chapter 8
What is a Group? A Group is a small collection of people who interact with each other, usually face to face, over time in order to reach their goals. Not all groups are teams because a team works together collectively to reach their goals whereas a group can have different motives to reach their goals without intentions to work together or collectively. Individual Goals – The motives of the individual members –whereas Group Goals - The outcome the groups seeks to accomplish.
Understanding Characteristics of Groups: All groups have certain characteristics that they all have in common. Rules are officially stated guidelines that govern what the group is supposed to do and how the members should behave. There are also un-discussed rules, or an unofficial set of standards that groups operate with called Norms – They are shared values, beliefs, behaviors, and procedures that govern a groups operation. There are three norms - Social Norms which govern the relationships with one another; Procedural Norms which outline how the group should operate; and Task Norms which focus on how the job itself should be handled. There are also Roles: Which define patterns of behavior expected of members. Just like norms, some roles are officially recognized. Formal Roles are roles that are assigned by an organization or group partly to establish order. Informal Roles or “Functional Roles” are present, as you can sometimes see who plays the part of ‘leader’ of the group, and ‘followers’.
Task roles - help the group accomplish its goals. Social Roles – Helps the relationship among the members run smoothly. Dysfunctional roles – prevents a group from working effectively.
Decision making Methods:
Consensus - when all members of a group support a decision.
Majority control - The democratic method of the majority rule is always superior.
Expert opinion – Sometimes one group member will be defined as an expert and, as such, will be given the power to make decisions.
Minority Rule – Few members of the group will make decisions.
Authority Rule – When someone takes the initiative and decides for the whole group (good or bad).
Individualism versus Collectivism – Collectivists are more likely to be team players and work as groups whereas individualistic members are more likely to reward and produce stars.
Power distance – The degree to which members are willing to accept a difference in power and status between members of a group.
Uncertainty Avoidance – Uncomfortable with risk, uncertainty, and change but accepting to stability and traditions.
Task versus Social Orientation – Tasks groups are concerned about getting the job done, where as Social Orientation groups are concerned about the feeling of its members and their smooth functionality as a team.
Short versus Long Term Orientation – Some members look for quick payoffs, where as other groups differ instant gratifications for the long term ranged goals.
Leader: Being in charge of a group.
Coercive power: Comes from the thread or actual imposition of unpleasant consequences.
Rewards power- When others are influences by granting or promise of desirable consequences.
Expert power – When we are influenced by the people because of what we believe they know or can do.
Information power – Comes from a member’s knowledge that he or she can help the group reach their goals.
Referent power – comes out of respect, liking and trust others have for a member.
Power is group centered. Power is distributed among group members. Power isn’t an ether-or concept.
Leaders have a possibility of being Born leaders. Thus idea coming from Aristotle.
Laisseze Faire Leadership – The leader gives up the power to dictate the power to dictate, transforming the group into a leaderless collection of equals.
Democratic Leadership Style - Which invited other members to share in decision making.
Authoritarian Leadership Style – Relied on legitimate coercive, and reward power to influence others.