Compare and Contrast Essay, with professor feedback
Joseph XXXX
You did a better job of attempting to use narrative transitions, but overall, there is still no detailed sequence of events as demonstrated in your textbook, Building Better Essays. To be specific, you should have focused on an event that took place over a few months at most. You can’t provide a detailed description of an entire lifetime in 500 words.
ENC 1101
I have also highlighted areas where you have grammar/mechanics errors
Professor Antee
March 5, 2014
Learning the Hard Way
What makes you strive for success? Is it a person, place, thing, or something else? For me, it’s myself. I know my mental state is a key factor in how my day is going to transpire, and that’s why I try to motivate myself however I can. I have been self-motivated for many years, but I haven’t always used it in a way that’s positive. I believe a time in my life that reflects on my self-motivation, and how it developed positively, was my school experience and realizing how the choices that I make affect me.
I grew up an only child basically, well my sister moved out of the house when I was 5 years old. I wasn’t spoiled as many only children probably are. I was my parents center of focus, every move I made they knew about. In my early years of school, I was a great student; nothing but A’s and B’s. I think I made good grades more out of fear of what my parents would say or do to me than anything. They also gave me money for every good grade in each semester, so that was always motivating as well.
As the years passed, I began the adventure of high school. I was still a capable student, but I started not to take school as seriously. My own train of thought started kicking in, and school seemed to drop down the ladder of importance as each grade level passed, and the keg parties had an inverse relationship to that. I bet you could plot my grades, along with my attendance, on a graph for each quarter, from 9th until I dropped out at the end of 11th,
You did a better job of attempting to use narrative transitions, but overall, there is still no detailed sequence of events as demonstrated in your textbook, Building Better Essays. To be specific, you should have focused on an event that took place over a few months at most. You can’t provide a detailed description of an entire lifetime in 500 words.
ENC 1101
I have also highlighted areas where you have grammar/mechanics errors
Professor Antee
March 5, 2014
Learning the Hard Way
What makes you strive for success? Is it a person, place, thing, or something else? For me, it’s myself. I know my mental state is a key factor in how my day is going to transpire, and that’s why I try to motivate myself however I can. I have been self-motivated for many years, but I haven’t always used it in a way that’s positive. I believe a time in my life that reflects on my self-motivation, and how it developed positively, was my school experience and realizing how the choices that I make affect me.
I grew up an only child basically, well my sister moved out of the house when I was 5 years old. I wasn’t spoiled as many only children probably are. I was my parents center of focus, every move I made they knew about. In my early years of school, I was a great student; nothing but A’s and B’s. I think I made good grades more out of fear of what my parents would say or do to me than anything. They also gave me money for every good grade in each semester, so that was always motivating as well.
As the years passed, I began the adventure of high school. I was still a capable student, but I started not to take school as seriously. My own train of thought started kicking in, and school seemed to drop down the ladder of importance as each grade level passed, and the keg parties had an inverse relationship to that. I bet you could plot my grades, along with my attendance, on a graph for each quarter, from 9th until I dropped out at the end of 11th,