Conversation Tannen Analysis

Summary Tannen’s entire article can be summed up in four simple words; “Conversation is a ritual” (1994). Men and women tend to approach interacting with each other in the work place in the same patterned method. Tannen provides a guide for us to better understand the importance of communicating more effectively in the work place. She explains how verbal interactions could be interpreted in many different ways, depending on one’s point of view and which side of the conversation you happen to be on. Tannen delves into seven areas of rituals where men and women differ including; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. She employs short story about actual people, expert opinions, and contrasts to show how women and men would react differently in a conversation. Throughout the article, Tannen shows instances of interaction between individuals that emphasize the episode from both aspects. Tannen explores:
• Why women are told that they apologize too much.
• Why they are less likely to give and receive criticism
in a candid manner as men do.
• Why women use “thank you” as a conversation starter or finisher rather than the conventional acknowledgement of gratitude.
• Why men have an adversarial approach to conversations and discussions that women view as a personal attack.
• Why men expect their ideas and thoughts to be challenged.
• The ways men and women differ regarding giving and expecting praise.
• Why men think that voicing a complaint means you are looking for a way to solve the problem and not just trying to carry on a conversation.
• Why men and women have very different ideas on joking around in the work place.
Relevance
Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationships, effective communication is the most important factor in a happy marriage and a successful work environment, without it, they fall apart.
Being able to effectively communicate and interact with coworkers, friends and family means listening to understand other’s thoughts, opinions and ideas. Additionally, transmitting your message clearly and concisely so that it is understood by others will help protect those relationships. Men and women have different thoughts on how to communicate with each other which leads to many miscommunications in relationships and work environments. Tannen’s article demonstrations that women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different ideas of what was actually said. This all applies to our children as well, how many times have we heard a teenager stomp away from their parents screaming you never listen to
me?
Critique
Tannen’s opinions seem to unfairly portray men as the mean aggressor wired to not listen and speak this way and women the weak innocent victims that can’t speak for themselves in the workplace. Tannen depicts women being more sensitive in a conversation with someone as opposed to men being straightforward with the truth of the matter in a conversation. She states that women tend to take the other person's feelings into account; while men usually don't, which changes the tone of the interactions. Tannen tries to educate men and women to remember that our words are powerful and can raise up or put down the person hearing them, by becoming more aware and willing to really communicate with one another. Words and actions have ramifications beyond what most people think and not everyone think or see things exactly the same.